Getting well is a kick in the butt some times. What we've come to believe is that drugs can make us well, and in a lot of cases they can. But as they are working on one part of our body the other parts are suffering innocently. Ask anyone who is being treated with chemo therapy and they'll tell you right away that the cure can make you sick as a dog.
I'm being treated for cancer and fortunately I don't have to have chemo therapy. I'm being treated with a hormone that will hopefully keep the cancer from spreading. They can't really get rid of it at this point, but we just hope it stays in the prostate and doesn't get out and infect other parts of my body.
I had my first real treatment on Wednesday (2 days ago) and am just now feeling the effects. I am tired and fatigued and just don't feel like getting off my butt. I tried to help out over at my son-in-law's house when they were pulling up old carpet but just couldn't get myself going. I'm hoping this will not long and I'll feel better tomorrow because I'm just not used to feeling tired all the time.
Yes, it's a minor inconvenience compared to those who are fighting for their lives against more aggressive forms of cancer, but I just don't like it. I especially don't like to feel tired on the weekend. I've been sick 3 of the last 4 weekends and am looking forward to one where I can get outside and do some yard work.
I know I'm whining, but we all do from time to time.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
There is so little justice in this world
For any of you who have spent much time in church, you know that there are plenty of people who say they're Christians but you just can't understand why they do the things they do. Yes, they're called hypocrites and they're always blamed by non-church people as the reason they don't go to church. It's a problem that has always been and will always be until God sorts everything out in the future.
But occasionally you'll run into someone who just seems to exemplify the kind of life you envision should be labeled Christian. They are usually very humble and quiet (though not always quiet) and they just seem genuinely concerned about others more than they are themselves. And they do it all without drawing attention to themselves. When someone has a need they aren't just concerned about it, they do something about it. They just seem to use most of their energy attending to the needs of others.
That's the kind of person I know who has just learned she has cancer, and a very serious variety of the devil's brew. Why is it that someone like her gets this insidious disease and not someone who spends most of their time and money on themselves? There is just no real justice here on this earth. The rain falls on the just and the unjust; and cancer afflicts the just and the unjust just as well. And I think it just sucks.
God is God and I love Him, but I hate it when someone like my friend has to go through something like this. I don't wish cancer on anyone, to be sure, but why her?
All I can do is pray, pray, pray and I will.
But I'm not ashamed to say, "Damn cancer, damn it straight to hell".
But occasionally you'll run into someone who just seems to exemplify the kind of life you envision should be labeled Christian. They are usually very humble and quiet (though not always quiet) and they just seem genuinely concerned about others more than they are themselves. And they do it all without drawing attention to themselves. When someone has a need they aren't just concerned about it, they do something about it. They just seem to use most of their energy attending to the needs of others.
That's the kind of person I know who has just learned she has cancer, and a very serious variety of the devil's brew. Why is it that someone like her gets this insidious disease and not someone who spends most of their time and money on themselves? There is just no real justice here on this earth. The rain falls on the just and the unjust; and cancer afflicts the just and the unjust just as well. And I think it just sucks.
God is God and I love Him, but I hate it when someone like my friend has to go through something like this. I don't wish cancer on anyone, to be sure, but why her?
All I can do is pray, pray, pray and I will.
But I'm not ashamed to say, "Damn cancer, damn it straight to hell".
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A New Band - DLD (Don't Look Down)
I have been playing guitar for something like 20 years now. And, by that I mean, seriously expressing myself on the instrument as compared to a general interest in it that includes strumming a few chords occasionally.
But, in all those 20 years or so (no, I don’t know when I really started) I have only learned and played Christian material, including my own. I have no apologies for that, as there is no need to. It’s just an observation.
I have played with many talented musicians and have enjoyed myself immensely. I have led or played with various praise bands over the years and have grown as a musician as a result. You never get beyond yourself until you play with someone a notch above you. It’s true in sports, music and almost any other endeavor. If you want to improve in an area start hanging with someone who is better than yourself and learn from them. And I have played with a lot of people who are much better than me.
So, after I retired from the last church as a worship leader I found myself sort of floundering in the music field. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I tried playing guitar at home and learning techniques on Youtube, but I was easily bored. I need another challenge in order to take the next step and keep my interest up. I had kept in touch with all the band members and we had talked about trying to get some gigs at other churches but for some reason I just couldn’t get motivated to do it. I was always the leader of the band and everyone still looks to me to keep us going, so if I wasn’t going to do it, it wasn’t going to get done.
Anyway, (where are you going with this?) two of the band members and I decided to put together a 3 piece band to do the Mexican restaurant scene. We are trying to learn some good rock oriented songs that sound good with a 3 piece and are going to mix in some Christian music too. That way, we can introduce some Christian rock to the non-Christian community, as well as entertain them with some music they’re more familiar with. I really hope it works out because I am really excited about doing it.
We worked about 8 hours on 3 songs yesterday and ended up sounding pretty good on them. They’ll need some more work, but it was a start and we can begin adding 3 more for our next practice. The first 3 are, “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers; “Big Weekend” by Tom Petty; and “Authority Song” by Seger. The Authority Song was the hardest to put together because it had the most moving parts, but we did a fair job for the 1st run through. I’m also excited about David and Dennis handling some of the vocals, at least some of the backups. Dennis sang along with a John Mayer tune last night on Youtube and he sounded great (I had never heard him sing before).
I’ll try and keep this thing updated on our progress. It’s a new adventure for me and I’m looking forward to seeing it come together. Wish us luck!
But, in all those 20 years or so (no, I don’t know when I really started) I have only learned and played Christian material, including my own. I have no apologies for that, as there is no need to. It’s just an observation.
I have played with many talented musicians and have enjoyed myself immensely. I have led or played with various praise bands over the years and have grown as a musician as a result. You never get beyond yourself until you play with someone a notch above you. It’s true in sports, music and almost any other endeavor. If you want to improve in an area start hanging with someone who is better than yourself and learn from them. And I have played with a lot of people who are much better than me.
So, after I retired from the last church as a worship leader I found myself sort of floundering in the music field. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I tried playing guitar at home and learning techniques on Youtube, but I was easily bored. I need another challenge in order to take the next step and keep my interest up. I had kept in touch with all the band members and we had talked about trying to get some gigs at other churches but for some reason I just couldn’t get motivated to do it. I was always the leader of the band and everyone still looks to me to keep us going, so if I wasn’t going to do it, it wasn’t going to get done.
Anyway, (where are you going with this?) two of the band members and I decided to put together a 3 piece band to do the Mexican restaurant scene. We are trying to learn some good rock oriented songs that sound good with a 3 piece and are going to mix in some Christian music too. That way, we can introduce some Christian rock to the non-Christian community, as well as entertain them with some music they’re more familiar with. I really hope it works out because I am really excited about doing it.
We worked about 8 hours on 3 songs yesterday and ended up sounding pretty good on them. They’ll need some more work, but it was a start and we can begin adding 3 more for our next practice. The first 3 are, “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers; “Big Weekend” by Tom Petty; and “Authority Song” by Seger. The Authority Song was the hardest to put together because it had the most moving parts, but we did a fair job for the 1st run through. I’m also excited about David and Dennis handling some of the vocals, at least some of the backups. Dennis sang along with a John Mayer tune last night on Youtube and he sounded great (I had never heard him sing before).
I’ll try and keep this thing updated on our progress. It’s a new adventure for me and I’m looking forward to seeing it come together. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Birthday Party for One Of the Grandkids
One of my grandaughters had a birthday last week and the family got together for a party. My other grandaughter will have one this Sunday. I just marvel at the toys that are available for kids now. It obviously has to do with my generation growing up after WWII and getting to live in prospertify and peace. We were showered in toys and games and free time like no generation before us ever was and we used that magic to create even more toys for the next generation.
I'm sure my parents had some toys when they were growing up, but it's a fact that most of them spent the marjority of their time working rather than in play. There were no organized ball teams, the scouts were for rich kids and there was little money available to purchase toys for the kids. People grew their own livestock and everyone had a garden and the kids went to work when they were in their early teens, if not sooner. And, it was real work like cotton mills, cotton picking, canning factories or other types of hard, manual labor.
My mom tells of growing up on a working farm and the challenges it presented. The kids toted water from across the street until they were able to put in their own well. The older son had to get up first and build a fire in the fireplace and kitchen stove. Of course, heating with wood meant that the boys had to cut firewood every year with a cross cut saw, split it and stack it. The had livestock that had to be fed before they went to school. In the summer there was a garden to be worked. I'll never forget one time complaining about raking the leaves to hear me uncle laugh and say they considered that fun when they were growing up. It was a hard life for years until the county put in gas to the area and my grandad was able to make improvements to the house like a shower and central heat.
So, after the stress of the war, those who made it through and found good, solid jobs had the money to spend some on their kids. They also had more time on their hands because they worked 8 hour days in most cases and did not have to work a farm on their off time in order to make a living. Their kids were also able to enjoy the benefits of a prosperous economy by receiving toys to play with. They did not have to help their parents as much by working the gardens and feeding livestock, etc..
Now our kids are not only enjoying the fruits of a prosperous era, but the added benefits of technology. They hold in their little hands a computer with more processing power than the one used to put a man on the moon. Their toys stretch the limits of technology and imagination and give them little opportunity to be bored.
My grandaughter is 5 years old and has a hand-held computer with numerous games; somewhere over 15 baby dolls or characters; a couple of art sets; a complete makeup set; doll strollers, high chairs and beds; and more clothes than a child in a developing country will see in a lifetime.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, I'm just making an observation. We had fewer toys as kids and still had a great time. I just hope they don't take it for granted and think it's their right in life to have stuff. I hope we can somehow show them that its a privilege and a blessing and not a right.
I'm sure my parents had some toys when they were growing up, but it's a fact that most of them spent the marjority of their time working rather than in play. There were no organized ball teams, the scouts were for rich kids and there was little money available to purchase toys for the kids. People grew their own livestock and everyone had a garden and the kids went to work when they were in their early teens, if not sooner. And, it was real work like cotton mills, cotton picking, canning factories or other types of hard, manual labor.
My mom tells of growing up on a working farm and the challenges it presented. The kids toted water from across the street until they were able to put in their own well. The older son had to get up first and build a fire in the fireplace and kitchen stove. Of course, heating with wood meant that the boys had to cut firewood every year with a cross cut saw, split it and stack it. The had livestock that had to be fed before they went to school. In the summer there was a garden to be worked. I'll never forget one time complaining about raking the leaves to hear me uncle laugh and say they considered that fun when they were growing up. It was a hard life for years until the county put in gas to the area and my grandad was able to make improvements to the house like a shower and central heat.
So, after the stress of the war, those who made it through and found good, solid jobs had the money to spend some on their kids. They also had more time on their hands because they worked 8 hour days in most cases and did not have to work a farm on their off time in order to make a living. Their kids were also able to enjoy the benefits of a prosperous economy by receiving toys to play with. They did not have to help their parents as much by working the gardens and feeding livestock, etc..
Now our kids are not only enjoying the fruits of a prosperous era, but the added benefits of technology. They hold in their little hands a computer with more processing power than the one used to put a man on the moon. Their toys stretch the limits of technology and imagination and give them little opportunity to be bored.
My grandaughter is 5 years old and has a hand-held computer with numerous games; somewhere over 15 baby dolls or characters; a couple of art sets; a complete makeup set; doll strollers, high chairs and beds; and more clothes than a child in a developing country will see in a lifetime.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, I'm just making an observation. We had fewer toys as kids and still had a great time. I just hope they don't take it for granted and think it's their right in life to have stuff. I hope we can somehow show them that its a privilege and a blessing and not a right.
Friday, February 5, 2010
It's one a.m. and I'm sitting up watching some T.V. and cooking some rolls. I've been battling a kidney stone all day and now I can't sleep. I haven't eaten much all day because every time I did I would throw up. The pain was just about as intense as anything I've ever dealt with and I walked around the living room all day trying to get it to pass. At one time I thought it must be trying to break free because the pain increased to a 12, but I don't think it ever left.
At this point I'm hungry and am not in much pain so I'm going to eat some rolls and try to go to bed a little later.
Not much left to say except,,,"Lord, please get this thing out of my body!!!!!"
At this point I'm hungry and am not in much pain so I'm going to eat some rolls and try to go to bed a little later.
Not much left to say except,,,"Lord, please get this thing out of my body!!!!!"
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thankful That God Doesn't Share Secrets
I knew a man once who on more than one occasion would expose the sins of others. I have no idea what his motive was but he had the opportunity to hurt many people, especially younger lives. He was in a position of authority over teenagers, whose sins are often more exposed than those of us who have spent a life time learning to hide our weaknesses and transgressions. I have often thought about this and wondered why someone would want to do that. I'll never figure it out and would not be satisfied if I heard the explanation from his own mouth. The funny thing was, he was highly respected by many in the Christian community in our area as if he were some noble example of what Jesus wants us to be. I just never could respect him and still don't.
But, I think I did learn something important from knowing him and seeing him in action and that is, I'm glad God doesn't share secrets. God sees our hearts and they are often dark and complex and filled with things that we wish would go away. It's often explained as a sin nature. It's our natural nature to sin and although we get tired of it and wish we wouldn't, we often find ourselves apologizing to God. And if we're all plagued with the same ailment why are we not more compassionate toward others in their weaknesses? It would seem that the more prudent method of handling transgression is to pull the person aside in private and encourage them to straighten out. At least that's the way I handle things.
God loves us, and I mean really loves us. He will not tolerate sin, and has provided a complete solution to sin. He will not intentionally embarrass us unless it's absolutely necessary, and sometimes it is. If there is a secret sin that we refuse to deal with God may very well expose it to others so that they can help us get over it. But, I'm convinced that's the exception rather than the rule. God most often just speaks to our hearts in private and reminds us that He loves us and wants us to stop whatever it is we're doing. He doesn't want to stand before the whole family of believers and announce, "hey everybody look at what he's done! Can you believe it? I would think he'd know better don't you?" That's just not the way God works.
Don't ask me why I decided to share this right now. I just often think about the whole thing and am often trying to sort it out, so I thought I'd just put it down on cyberspace. You may know who I'm talking about but I would be the last one to expose someone on purpose. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Please keep this confidential,,,,
But, I think I did learn something important from knowing him and seeing him in action and that is, I'm glad God doesn't share secrets. God sees our hearts and they are often dark and complex and filled with things that we wish would go away. It's often explained as a sin nature. It's our natural nature to sin and although we get tired of it and wish we wouldn't, we often find ourselves apologizing to God. And if we're all plagued with the same ailment why are we not more compassionate toward others in their weaknesses? It would seem that the more prudent method of handling transgression is to pull the person aside in private and encourage them to straighten out. At least that's the way I handle things.
God loves us, and I mean really loves us. He will not tolerate sin, and has provided a complete solution to sin. He will not intentionally embarrass us unless it's absolutely necessary, and sometimes it is. If there is a secret sin that we refuse to deal with God may very well expose it to others so that they can help us get over it. But, I'm convinced that's the exception rather than the rule. God most often just speaks to our hearts in private and reminds us that He loves us and wants us to stop whatever it is we're doing. He doesn't want to stand before the whole family of believers and announce, "hey everybody look at what he's done! Can you believe it? I would think he'd know better don't you?" That's just not the way God works.
Don't ask me why I decided to share this right now. I just often think about the whole thing and am often trying to sort it out, so I thought I'd just put it down on cyberspace. You may know who I'm talking about but I would be the last one to expose someone on purpose. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Please keep this confidential,,,,
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