How do you know if you're in the 'right' church or not? This is a question many people struggle with, especially if they find something 'wrong' with their current church. If you run into a problem with the church you're attending, whether it's a doctrinal issue or a more personal preference, do you stay and work through it or do you just pack your bags and move on?

I think a doctrinal issue is a justifiable cause to move on. Your relationship with God is based on your personal beliefs and if your church doesn't agree on a point you will never find peace there. Of course, I think you should sit down and talk to the leadership about it first instead of just exiting without anyone knowing why, although I don't think a church will change its doctrinal stance based on the input of one person. It's just courteous to explain your reasons for leaving.

Personal reasons (at least to me) are things you need to talk to God about first. And the reason I say that is because it's really easy for us to get our feelings hurt. And if we leave a church every time that happens we'll be moving more than a fugitive from America's Most Wanted.

I've always felt like a person is 'called' or 'sent' to a church by God and should stay until God moves them on to work somewhere else, or until He gives them permission to leave. I don't think the decision should be taken lightly or based on our personal feelings. It also wouldn't hurt for us to discuss those feelings with someone who has no dog in the fight, someone who is not involved in that church and wouldn't feel hurt if we did leave. And then, also discuss your leaving with the church leadership, be it the elders, staff or a deacon. Let someone know why you're leaving so if it's a problem with others they will not be caught off guard.

What are some genuine reasons for leaving a church that God has called you to? Well, I think worship style is important. If you're used to traditional music and the church moves to a contemporary sound and you don't feel like you can worship there, leave; also, if you're not charismatic and the church moves in that direction you might feel justified in leaving; if you're involved in a ministry that the church can't or won't endorse and you feel hindered, leave; or if the church is not involved in any outside ministries and you feel they should be, leave. There are many other justifiable reasons that would take a book to list, but you get the idea. It should be something that hinders your relationship with God or others that motivates you to leave, not just because you don't like the way they chose the new carpet.

But, the main thing to consider in all of this is, will anyone miss you if you leave? Will they look around in a month and say, "whatever happened to what's his name? You know, the one who came in late, sat on the back row and left immediately after service." That's not how you want to be remembered. If you are God's child and He has called you to a church, you should be truly missed if you leave. There should be a hole in service when you vacate the premises that they are forced to fill in your absence. That's the kind of person I want to be. In fact, I believe it’s the biblical example of a true believer.

So, raise you hands if you know someone apparently normal in every way except they married a nut, kook, maniac, or schidzoid. Eveyone knows someone who has done this. You just have to shake your head everytime you meet them or see them. Someone deep inside the 'normal' person is not right, that they would commit themselves to someone who is obvioulsy disturbed or at least off balanced.

Why have I thought of this (despite the obvious for those who know our family)? Check out this short article I found on the internet today,,,,

Love Can Mess You Up: Before Arthur David Horn met his future bride Lynette (a "metaphysical healer") in 1988, he was a tenured professor at Colorado State, with a Ph.D. in anthropology from Yale, teaching a mainstream course in human evolution. With Lynette's guidance (after a revelatory week with her in California's Trinity Mountains, searching for Bigfoot), Horn evolved, himself, resigning from Colorado State and seeking to remedy his inadequate Ivy League education. At a conference in Denver in September, Horn said he now realizes that humans come from an alien race of shape-shifting reptilians that continue to control civilization through the secretive leaders known as the Illuminati. Other panelists in Denver included enthusiasts describing their own experiences with various alien races. [Rocky Mountain Collegian, 9-28-09]

Brother David was at least some what normal, although he did teach an evolution classs (takes a great deal of faith to believe in that). He was a college educated man who spent enough time in class to achieve a doctorate, which is a great accomplishment. It at least shows that he was a hard worker and a deligent student. But, now he's looking to the night sky for his ancestors, who apparently resemble a gecco. All because he meets a woman who has probably spent a lot of money on smokable weed.

I have to feel some compassion for him. I've known others who married outside of the normal thinking world. And it can be hard on the ones who would love to spend time with them. But, just as light has no relationship with darkness, so saneness has no relationship with a nut-cake. It's just a law of the universe I'm afraid and a very frustrating one at that.

Well,  it seems like winter instead of fall to me. I think he was waiting outside the door just watching and waiting for the right time to slip in and surprise us all. You can't help but make fun of Al Gore during a week like this. Yes, we know Al, global warming is also making the winters colder and is creating hurricanes (like we've never had those before) and earthquakes and causes the rising oil prices and hang nails and hemorrhoids. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in his hype. He is a politician and all politicians have an ulterior motive. It's all about money and power. They know no other motivation after they've been in office for a month or more.

You think you know a politician with pure motives, who truly wants to make a difference and is only trying to do the will of the people? Sorry, they may start out that way, but there's just too much corruption at their fingertips to stay that way. They should be limited to 4 years at the most, and then get a real job. Of course, after they serve in office they'll still make their living in the political rhelm by being a consultant or something. There's just too much money available to give it up for real work.

I don't know how I got on that subject. I honestly tire of the whole political scene very quickly. I don't like or trust any of them. So,,,,,off I go.

I took the day off today to watch my grandson for my daughter. The crud is moving through her house and Hunter has a runny nose and is pulling on his ears. She's just started a new job and can't miss work (even though she doesn't feel good either). I've got some vacation days that I've stashed away for a rainy day and was glad to help. It gives me time to do this, which is nice. Hunter's watching the drivel on PBS (poorly animated cartoons with sappy morals). They are a far cry from the quality we enjoyed as kids watching Bugs Bunny, Popeye and the Road Runner. Yogi Bear and that whole gang came along later and was just not the same quality of art as the earlier stuff (although the humor was good).  Now we've got a huge Red dog; bunny rabbits who do nothing more than get dirty to the consternation of his sister; and someone who builds things (taking the place of daddy?). I'm not a fan at all.

I do like Sesame Street though. Very creative and diverse. Yes, it's ladened with syrupy morals and lessons on getting along with others and being yourself and stuff, but they do it so well. Plus, they're realistic enough to include a grouch, and a Dracula.

Okay, going to do some surfing as long as I'm here and the baby is content to watch TV.

It was a good weekend all around. I got some 'stuff' done around the house, which makes me feel useful and fulfilled as a husband and homeowner. I like to get something done around the house on the weekend or I just don't feel like I've done my part, you know? It's actually hard for me to take the weekend off and just chill out. It's even hard for me to do a day trip. I like to work. I like to accomplish stuff. It makes me feel good.

So, anyway, I got the plants in and set them up in the basement. This will be the first time I've tried to winter the anuals to see if they'll make it to next spring. I usually just buy new flowers each year, but this year I brought 'em inside to see if they'll survive. I had to hang some chains up and prepare a place for the ones that just sit around. I left the light on and set the temp to 45%. Hopefully, that will keep them alive. If not, it's back to the greenhouse in the spring. All of this stuff is new to me so I'm experimenting.

I love to work in the yard now. It's another creative outlet for me. This year I added Elephant Ears to the back yard and they really did great, mostly because we had a lot of rain. They're supposed to die back on their own and come back next year. I hope so, because I love them. As long as you give them water they thrive.

Not much else on my mind today,,,

Seems like a long week to me. Not sure why except it's been busy and a bit stressful at work.

I drive a commuter van at times to and from work and last week was nearly involved in a major wreck. A line of cars in front of us were involved in a chain reaction breaking manuver that caused a number of cars to end up sideways in their lane. In the melee I was forced over into the lane on my right which was already occupied, by a car to my left. I still can't believe that we all managed to continue on without a scratch.

My co-workers were not as fortunate this week. A van heading toward the north-east part of town was involved in a roll over accident which took the lives of 3 employees and injured 6 others. It seems that another motorists clipped their back bumper and caused them to roll over 3 times before coming to rest on their side. It was a terrible and tragic accident and put us all in a somber mood this week.

It never ceases to amaze us when death intrudes on our world and our friends or loved ones are taken away in a sudden and unexpected way. It's just hard to get used to not seeing them around anymore. You're walking down the hall and can just imagine them turning the corner, smiling at you or saying hello.

I hate death!

I knew the 3 employees at least to some degree. Rocky and I got to know each other because we both had prostate cancer at the same time. We talked often about our treatments and their effects on other parts of our body. That sort of thing builds a certain comradery with others. It's like your on a battle field with them fighting a common enemy. I had talked to Ollie on the phone from time to time. He was very helpful and pleasant. He was one of those people you knew you could count on and you knew would do what they could to help. I had seen Cindy around a good bit but didn't know her personally. She was always friendly and always had a bright smile on her face.

And so, they're here one day, smiling and enjoying life and gone the next, not realizing they should have spent a bit more time saying goodbye.

I hate death!

Computer work and a reunion

Saturday was a bit overcast so that exluded yard work. I had a meeting in the morning at church and when I got home Kathy and I drove to Marietta for some computer shopping. Her computer is just out of reach of the wireless router it seems. It must be getting old and just doesn't have the diaphram support it once had becasue it just can't scream loud enough to be heard across the house.

I bought a range expander to put in the living room so it can pick up the signal from the router and shout it out to the other side of the house, nothing original, just repeats what it's heard. Reminds me of some people I've met.

I got on my Mac and configured it according to the instructions but could not connect to the new signal. Then I discovered that I couldn't connect to the old signal either. I somehow corrupted the router when configuring the new. I had to call technical support then and they had me reset my old router to the factory defaults. I then had to reset the password for WEP and eventually got everything working again. You do know that I work on computers for a living, right? I hate computers.

So tonight I have to try it again. "We'll see" he said skeptically.

And on Saturday night I went to my 37th year high school reunion (I know I don't seem that old). Actually we celebrated the reunions of classes 1968 - 1975 which was more fun.

I was really amazed at how well everyone has held up over the years, especially the women. Some of them didn't seem like they'd aged at all. Looks like someone put them in a tupperware bowl for a number of years and they just quit aging. And everyone was so friendly and nice, having long ago buried the cliques that they had joined in school. I guess we all found out that they didn't mean anything anyway.

High school is such a twilight zone anyway. You take a bunch of immature half-grown people and put them together in an environment that they basically build themselves and you're destined for trouble. The cute ones don't hang with the normal ones and the normal ones despise the cute ones; the jocks don't understand the nerds or musicians and the nerds and musicians don't care what the jocks think.

But, there are some rare individuals that mix well in all the groups and I was fortunate enough to be one of those, although I didn't date any cheerleaders back then (dang it). I just wanted to have fun and I did. I got in a lot of trouble and didn't study that I can remember but somehow made it out on time.

Anyway, it was fun seeing everyone again, even those that I didn't know too well. There were way too many singles there because of failed marriages, but that seems to be 'normal' now days.

I wish all the kids in school now could see what it's going to be like later on down the road where no one cares what you look like or what kind of car you drive. We're all just struggling to get by and realize that those things really don't matter much anymore. And I'm sure a good many of the 'cute' ones which they had married an uncute one that would remain faithful over the years. Only a guess though.

Church

I’ve been going to the same church now for over 10 years. I was ‘on staff’ there for most of those years, which means I was in charge of the music ministry (not much pay, but lots of responsibility). I was asked to participate by the pastor back when the church was a fairly new and small entity and I’ve watched the church grow over the years into the body it is now.


I love the people there and have always seen an amazing potential in the organization. Everyone is energetic (at least, most are), friendly and cooperative, with a heart for others. But, we have been plagued with one crisis after another over the years and I can’t help but compare ourselves to other churches and ask God, why?

We seemed to have a great group of people; a great vision and purpose; a lot of energy; very little disharmony; good music and good preaching. And we did do well for a while, growing quickly and being very involved in the community and in reaching others with the message of the gospel. But, just as soon as we started growing, we took a major hit.

Our pastor was involved in an indiscretion and resigned, along with our associate pastor. We found out at that time that we had neglected to build a good strong infrastructure, such as by-laws and a constitution. We didn’t have elders or other formal ‘lay’ leadership in place either, so we were ill equipped to handle the storm. We also found out that we were in very poor shape financially which added to the damage. I’m surprised we made it through the storm at all, except for the leadership of our youth pastor and the unity of the body.

And over the few years following all of that we’ve gone through 4 pastors and 3 or 4 youth ministers, along with a nearly complete turn-over in membership. We’ve hovered around the same number of ‘members’ and ‘attenders’ and have had all our needs met, although with very little left over each month. We’ve continued to minister to others, but have always struggled to maintain our identity and keep focused on the original vision.

It’s been a struggle for me to not get discouraged when I see other churches in the area who are involved in the same type of ministry doing so well while we just seem to be trying to keep our head above water. I’ve asked the Lord about it many times and I understand a little of why, but it doesn’t help. I still get discouraged from time to time.

I realize a lot of the problem has to do with not laying a good foundation when we were first formed. Our first pastor was a great guy with a great vision, who really loved people, but he was not as strong in the organizational areas and he let his own weaknesses overcome his ministry. And the other leaders involved at that time didn’t take the time to establish accountability roles and structure to guard against those dangers. If you don’t have a good foundation the building will always suffer.

Anyway, sometimes these things just weigh on me. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a member of church that thrived instead of struggled. I know all churches have struggles, but some more than others.

I am thankful for the years I’ve spent at our church. I’ve grown as a person because of my association there and I’ve made so many great friends. I hope I’m not sounding like a complainer. I’m not complaining, just wondering out loud.

Just thought I’d share.

I'm in a hurry

A song by Alabama that very accurately describes my life,,,,


I'm in a hurry to get things done

(oh,) I rush & rush until life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live & die

But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why


Don't know why

I have to drive so fast

My car has nothing to prove

It's not new, but it'll 0-60 in 5.2, oh

Chorus


Can't be late

I leave in plenty of time

Shakin' hands with the clock

I can't stop

I'm on a roll & I'm ready to rock oh,


Chorus

I hear a voice

It says I'm running behind

I better pick up my pace

It's a race & there ain't no room for someone in 2nd place

And why am I always in a hurry? I have no idea. I have tried and tried to slow down and actually enjoy the ride but always find myself in the fast lane. I even have a hard time just sitting and talking with people. I’m fine for about 30 minutes and maybe an hour, but then I’m ready to get up and get going again and for no real reason.

Now this driven life does help if you have things to do, but honestly, a slower and more paced oriented person would be just as effective. I’ve actually seen it work that way and try to convince myself of it, but myself don’t listen. He just plows straight ahead with his head down, picking up the pace.

Well, I’d love to talk more about it, but I gotta go. I’ve spent much too long writing this as it is.

Saturday with the grandkids and a headache

Had a terrible migraine headache Saturday but had agreed to keep my daughter’s 3 kids for her. The 2 oldest are never a problem, except maybe for Taylor who has a habit of talking non-stop. But the youngest, who turns 2 today is a hand full on any day, and with a splitting headache it was a real challenge to be a patient Paw-paw all day.




I took them to Hiram in the morning and we did some shopping for some Halloween decorations. Now, for those who have a problem with Halloween for religious reasons, please accept my apologies, but I just view it as another fun time for the kids. When they dress up and ask for candy they have no idea they are calling on the forces of darkness to possess their souls, they’re just having fun. Besides, most churches have ‘Harvest festivals’ now and the kids can still dress up and ask for candy. I guess they’re calling on the forces of harvest now, which could mean a prosperous future.



Anyway, we got some spider web stuff and some string lights for their house and ours but I just didn’t feel like putting them up Saturday. Instead, I put the youngest down for his nap, sent the kids out to the garage to play and laid down on the couch with an ice pack on my head (which felt wonderful).



When Hunter woke up I was notified by hearing him say ‘look, look’, so I got up to ‘look’. When I opened the door to his room I was struck by the smell of poop. And I mean the smell was strong! He had emptied his diaper and smeared it all over him and the bed. So, to the bath with him and Windex for the bed posts. I had to throw away the pillow that was in his bed because it didn’t have a pillow case over it. Needless to say this whole incident did not help my headache and I called my daughter to let her know I had had enough. She was sympathetic and came over to relieve me so I could take my much needed nap.



You know, it made me feel for moms who cannot call over reinforcements. They are moms regardless of how they feel. A noble selfless life is required by moms and they deserve all the thanks and flowers they receive.