John The Lion (and Matthew)

JEHOVAH RAPHA "I am the Lord Your Physician or I am the Lord Your Healer - this name especially was a Name God prophetically spoke about Himself, not one that someone gave Him. Exodus 15:26.

2011-12-21T14:18:00.001-05:00

Continued from 2 posts down…

So, what do I know? Not much really. I’m not a theologian and feel as if I’m a total newbie to this whole subject. I’m continuing to pray without ceasing regarding other health issues in my life and will continue to do so until I’m totally healed or God says, “thats enough son, it’s not going to kill you and you don’t need to pray about it anymore”. I just figure, why not? If my sinuses are bothering me (and they are) and Jesus can heal them, why not ask for that? If my blood pressure is still high (and it is), and Jesus can heal that, why not ask Him to do it? So, I am. I ask for everything. I’m not being selfish, just asking as a child would his daddy. The difference is, my Dad can heal from just speaking the word!

Now, I know that some health issues can be controlled with good food and exercise, so I’m focusing on that to help with the blood pressure. If you know something and don’t appropriate it, it’s just being stupid. We all know that if you control your weight and eat fruits and vegetables your heart will benefit, so I’m gonna do all that too. Another thing that really bothers me is having to get up multiple times a night to pee. I sleep good when I’m sleeping but wake up often to relieve myself. It’s something I’ve dealt with for years due to the radiation treatment I took. I am asking the Lord to heal me of that. I would love a full night’s sleep again. One thing I’ve found (as if it’s been a big secret or mystery) is that healing can come through praise. Jesus promised my healing during a praise service and I find now that when I’m alone and in worship I can feel His healing touch. I love to praise and worship Him and I know that He loves to hear it. That kind of relationship cannot help but spawn healing.

But, more than all of these things, I want to be able to pray for others and for them to enjoy the same miraculous healing that I have enjoyed. I am taking a class offered by our church soon on praying for the sick and hurting and I just can’t wait for it to start. I want to learn how to minister to others so that they can find deliverance, peace, healing and salvation.

I know God will not hesitate to grant that prayer.

JEHOVAH RAPHA "I am the Lord Your Physician or I am the Lord Your Healer - this name especially was a Name God prophetically spoke about Himself, not one that someone gave Him. Exodus 15:26.

2011-12-14T09:42:00.001-05:00

Okay, so you believe God can heal but has He?

I’m glad you asked that question. On Wednesday the 7th of December I went to church to have the elders pray over me in obedience to the book of James. As I stated before, I was depressed, had memory loss, had cancer, high blood pressure and could not have physical relations with my wife (due to the cancer treatment). Jesus promised my healing during the service and I left with my heart full of joy. The pastor had also taught that the Lord promised sweet sleep for His children, so I asked Him on the way home to help me sleep. I have not slept without the assist of pills for a number of years.

I was able to sleep that night without aid, although it did take a while to fall asleep. Since that time I have slept without help and am getting up fewer times during the night. I would sometimes get up as much as once an hour before, but last night only got up twice. I sleep soundly and peacefully, and am rested. This is a big deal for me, since I haven’t really slept well for over 10 years.

I have been on anti-depression medication for 5 years, and still had bouts that would just wear me out. Since that night I have neither taken the medicine nor needed it. It’s been 1 week now and there is just no reason to take it. Not only have I not been depressed but His joy is so overwhelming that I am in complete peace. I have so much patience now and feel like a new man. He truly gives the ‘peace that passes understanding’.

Warning: the following is rather personal but is a major part of my healing:

The cancer treatment completely took away my sex drive. I neither desired sex nor could I perform if I had wanted to. I had resolved myself to living without it even though I knew it was affecting my relationship with Kathy. We loved each other but could no longer enjoy the intimacy intended in the marriage relationship. Now, you need to understand that I could NOT have sex. It was physically impossible for me. And, I did not desire it anymore. It was not a part of my life.

On the Friday after the Lord touched me I came home from work and greeted Kathy as she was preparing the evening meal. I gave her a kiss as I always do but this time I felt an old and familiar stirring in my body. I kissed her again and told her what I was feeling and she laughed since I had not said anything like that for years. We sat down to eat dinner (the grandkids were watching a movie and would eat later) and the stirring in my body kept increasing until it consumed my thoughts and I just had to laugh. My body was responding in a way that had not occurred for a long time, but there was an unmistakable sign that my sex drive had returned. I told Kathy that we needed to be excused to the bedroom and we got up, locked the bedroom door, locked the bathroom door and then hid in our walk-in closet. It was there that we once again enjoyed the intimacy of marriage. It had been nearly 5 years and afterwards I cried like a baby and she laughed and laughed. My God can not only heal the human body, but can restore the effects of years of treatments! We knew this was an unmistakable sign from God that what He promised was coming to pass.

I will meet with my doctor tomorrow to discuss my medication and I’ll tell him at that time that I won’t be taking it again. I’ll continue to be tested so that God can receive the glory that is due Him, but I am not the least bit worried. He holds the number of my days and He knows my body, and I trust only in Him.

I’m sure there are many that will be skeptical and will try to explain away what God has done, but I pity them and their unbelief. I know what it’s like because I lived that way for many years. But when God restores and quickens your heart as He has mine, there is only peace, hope and love. Doubt must be fought with faith and the sureness of His word. Fortunately, the word will not return to Him without accomplishing what He has intended. He WILL receive all the glory and praise, whether we do it here on this earth or when He demands it on the day of judgment. I will rest in Him and His word. I will let it fill me, cleanse me and encourage me every day and as many times a day as I can. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. I want my faith increased to the miracle stage where I can minister to others who are sick and wounded, bound up in sin and in need of forgiveness. I want my life to be an example of what it’s like to follow Him unconditionally and to show what His love is really like.

I hope this is encouraging. I will continue to update as I have things to share.

JEHOVAH RAPHA "I am the Lord Your Physician or I am the Lord Your Healer - this name especially was a Name God prophetically spoke about Himself, not one that someone gave Him. Exodus 15:26.

2011-12-09T15:21:00.001-05:00

I want to chronicle some of the events that have been taken place in my life (after all, this site is supposed to be all about me, right?). I do so as a testimony to what God has been doing in my life and what He has promised will happen.

I personally believe that God speaks clearly to His children, they know His voice, and another they will not follow (John 10:27). From a young child I was amazed that God would actually talk to us in a manner that we could understand. I am grateful He does so and convinced He has conversed recently with me. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit into the lives of His children. The Holy Spirit is our comforter and guide. He reveals God’s word to us so that we can follow Him and not be led astray. This same Holy Spirit has very clearly spoken to me and given me great comfort about the state of my life and how He wants to work in my life.

Toward the end of November our church took up a thanksgiving offering. I left the service because I had nothing set aside to give. Our money was very tight and we just didn’t have much we could give. I went home and told Kathy some time that day that we were disobedient in not giving a tenth to the Lord and we would begin that payday whether we could afford it or not. I did not do it because I had faith in God necessarily, but I was tired of struggling with the knowledge of what God wanted me to do and then not doing it. Kathy agreed and we both found it a relief to do what we knew was right. I believe this small step was the first of many that led to an amazing encounter with God.I have had cancer since 2001. I did the radiation thing and it was okay until around 2006 when it obviously came back. The doctor recommended a hormone treatment that should stop its growth and that seemed to work fine because my count went back down to zero. The problem with the treatment is its many side effects. I lost my sex drive, experienced bouts of deep depression, had uncontrollable hot flashes (this really was aggravating in the summer) and experienced memory loss that grew worse every year. The drug will also cause you to gain weight and lose muscle tone and this depressed me even more. The drug I took to control the depression gave me diarrhea so bad I had to keep extra clothes at work. Another problem is that the drug can harm your liver and my blood work recently indicated a potential problem there. On top of all that my blood pressure was high and I had 2 incidents where I had to be transported to the hospital with my BP over 210.

All of these problems began to build in my life and recently, over the course of a few weeks, I was to the point where I just could not stand it any longer. The depression and memory loss was so bad that I left band practice last week nearly in tears. I could not remember the songs or how to play them. We are taking care of 2 of our grandchildren and I also felt guilty in leaving them with Kathy so much. I was just a very sorry excuse of a man and Christian. I did not like myself at all and was just tired of the whole thing.

It was at that point that I began seeking God for healing. I didn’t really believe that God actually heals anymore, but I was desperate and had nowhere else to turn. My step dad loaned me some books on divine healing and I also began to seek the scriptures myself to find any hope from God. I had believed the many conservative teachers who taught against healing and had to find out for myself that God was actually concerned about me and concerned enough to actually help me. Are we alone when we have sickness? Is He deaf to our cries? Do we only have doctors to rely on who admittedly don’t know why we get cancer and don’t really have a cure? If that is all true I was without hope. I felt like I had to quit the treatment which meant I would be at its mercy and I would die shortly. Now I’m not trying to develop a treatise or doctrine on the scriptural basis of healing, but what I found for me from the scriptures is that God calls himself “I am the Lord, your healer”; Jesus healed everyone who came to him for healing; Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever; and “by His stripes we were healed” to name just a few. So I just started seeking God concerning the truth of these words and I just bombarded Him with prayer for my healing. I purposefully cast aside any and all doubts regarding His desire to heal and claimed His word over my body (when you come to the end of yourself and have no one who can really help, you do what you knew to do but were afraid to ask). I did not name it or claim it in the sense we’ve heard prosperity preachers present God, but I did speak His word to my body and claimed the name of “I am the Lord your healer” as my healer. I asked God to not only heal me of the cancer but restore my body to what it was before the treatments.

I do have a record of healing in my life and was reminded of it during my meditations. When I was born again in 1972 God released me from the bonds of drug use, healed my mind from paranoid schizophrenia, and took nicotine addiction away from me instantly when I gave it to Him. I was healed of it all but thought nothing of the miracle aspects of it. I just thought it was normal for new Christians to get all those benefits. I was delivered from bondage and healed instantly of mental issues. Unfortunately I was influenced toward skepticism by well meaning doctrinally based teachers. I moved slowly from a belief in a miracle working God to a set of doctrines that handily dealt with all of life’s issues by explaining how things obviously changed after the New Testament. I still knew God wanted to win the lost, but I became afraid to offer them the promise of deliverance or a miraculous life. My sales pitch would honestly be something like, “come to Jesus; He will forgive you of your sins, take you to heaven when you die, and recruit you into witnessing for others”. I avoided instant deliverance, healing, perfect peace, freedom from lust, greed or anger, I would pray for others but not with any confidence that God cared to offer those things in this life. On Wednesday, November 7, 2011 I was driving to church. I had asked the elders to pray over me in obedience to James 5:14. I wanted to do things God’s way. I don’t know what prompted me, but as I was praying about my condition and the upcoming service I felt compelled to rebuke the devil and his hold on my life. I verbally rebuked him and told him he had no business in my life because Jesus was my Lord and had bought me with a price. I had not considered his involvement in my life because I didn’t think I had let him or his demons have any influence over me. After I had spent a few minutes addressing him and demanding his exit from my life the Spirit of God overwhelmed me. It was as if God now had the freedom to minister to me. I realized at that time that I had been guilty of unbelief. I had halted God’s work in my life and given place to the devil by listening to and agreeing with his lies. I begged God’s forgiveness and welcomed His presence again in my life. When I arrived at church and when the worship time began I was so free. I could worship Him like I couldn’t ever remember doing. We laughed and cried together and He put His arms around me and promised my healings. The reality of the Living God was as evident as the chair behind me. I knew at that time that I would be free for the rest of my life. I would walk with Him, worship Him and receive His word at all times.

Jesus is my healer. No one else is my healer. God is jealous over me and will receive all the glory from my life. Doctors can do a lot of wonderful things but only God can heal. Doctors can repair broken bones and sew up wounds but they have no authority over the immune system or my blood cells. Only God has authority over every cell in my body. Only God can see my inner most organs and know what they need to be well and function correctly. God has set aside the mysteries of life and health to be His own. We may probe His mysteries and scratch the surface of how the universe works and how the body works, but we will never, ever be able to probe the depths of His wisdom. He created the body and still has authority over it. We live and breathe because He desires for us to. We can no more delay our time of departure than we could have predicted our time of arrival. These are all under the authority of God and no one else. I have not experienced all of the results of my healings. I’m not dealing with depression anymore (because I have the peace that passes understanding). My memory seems to be better and my blood pressure reading was wonderful this morning (even after forgetting my medicine last night). I am relaxed and in peace, which I have not felt since some time shortly after my salvation. I have appointments with my doctors to discuss my medications but I’m honesty anticipating that I will have no need of them shortly (and I had already decided to quit the cancer medication). Time will tell when God heals my cancer because I’ll have to have regular blood tests to insure it doesn’t return. I continue to pray earnestly for the restoration of my body. The medicines have really wrecked havoc on it, but God can even fix all of that. I just know that God loves me, desires I live an abundant life and is the only hope for healing that I have. I love Him and spend every moment I can in worship and prayer. I have a great burden for others and spend much more time in prayer for them. I pray not only for their salvation and deliverance but for their healing too.

Only God can heal.

Further posts will come when there’s something worth saying…

Health Problems

2011-09-26T13:48:00.001-04:00

I’m really writing this to sort of remember it all in the future. Since I was diagnosed with cancer over 10 years ago I have been gaining weight, seemingly unable to control my choice of foods. This has led (obviously) to other health problems such as high blood pressure, headaches, depression, sinus problems, snoring and probably sleep apnea. I have relied on medicine to go to sleep, wake up, breath, cure everyday headaches, and feel better. I knew I was headed for a shorter life and did not enjoy not having energy or self-control.
Kathy and I took 2 weeks off and spent some time in Montana and surrounding areas with some friends and I had time to think about my life. I wanted to do better but realized I just couldn’t do it without some help. That’s what I mentioned to my daughters when they chided me on my size, pray for me because I can’t do this on my own.
I’m assuming that what happened to me later was a direct result of that prayer.
We got back on the 26th of August and I settled back into work. On the 7th of September I was at work and got a bad headache during lunch with some friends. When I got back to the office I started feeling worse and finally walked down the hall to the clinic and had my blood pressure checked. It was 162/98 which is very high. The nurse asked if I wanted to lay down and I said “no”, I would go back to work. Later as I was getting ready to leave for the day I started feeling light headed and flushed so I walked back down the hall to have my BP checked again. This time it was 182/118. She had me lie down in a back room and kept checking. In 15 minutes it was 210/124 which is really, really high and could have put me in jeopardy of having a stroke. She called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. They gave me 3 nitroglycerin pills and by the time I got to the hospital it was down some.
15:35 – 182/118
15:40 – 196/112
15:32 – 192/124
15:35 – EMS contacted
15:45 – 200/120
15:48 – 210/124
16:20 - Transported
But, as I was lying on the table in the clinic earlier I really thought I was going to die. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him to help me. I wanted to play with my grandkids; continue to work with my band and learn to pay guitar better; lead worship; spend time with my wife and children. I wasn’t afraid to die but just didn’t want to make the trip on that day. I also did not want a stroke and find out how that can ruin your plans.
I spent a miserable night in the hospital, hungry and hooked up to a heart monitor, BP machine and oxygen monitor. I passed the EKG’s and stress test and they let me go. But, I had already resolved that God had given me a warning and I would not dismiss it.
Since that time I have meditated on His words of healing promises and have adjusted my diet. I have started exercising and am now taking a second BP pill. I am still on most of the medicines I was on but am working to wean myself as God gives me wisdom to. I am not heading into this as a fool, but prayerfully and slowly. It has taken my body a week to adjust to no sugar but I now have plenty of energy.
I did wake up this week (2 weeks later) with severe vertigo but I think I have determined the reason. I have been having problems sleeping because my nose stops up after an hour or two into the night. I am confident it is because of allergens or dust in the air. I bought an air purifier today at Walmart and I hope that can make a difference. We’re also going to vacuum the room thoroughly and air it out to insure a cleaner environment. I have been using a nose spray nearly every night and am trying to wean myself off it now. It’s hard but I’m sure my sinuses will clear up soon.
I have worked this weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights from 7pm to 7am and have been surprisingly energetic. I haven’t felt tired or sleepy very much and have been able to walk the hallways a few times during the night without getting fatigued. I didn’t sleep much Saturday but did sleep better on Sunday with the aid of a Benadryl. I hope I’ll be able to quit taking sleep aids soon but have to insure I’m rested to do my job effectively.
I have eliminated nearly all sugar except for honey and realized tonight that I also need to cut back the carbs a great deal too. I don’t feel like that’s too much of an issue but it’s not as easy to eliminate from your diet as sugar is. I’ll do the best I can and will hope God will bless the effort and help me lose weight quickly.

Wow! where have I been?

2011-08-30T10:07:00.002-04:00

Sorry, just haven't had it in me to blog much. Kathy and I just got home from 2 weeks in Montana, Wyoming and Canada. We went out with 2 friends whom we've known for over 30 years and we all had a great time. The thing that really struck me was the diversity of landscape. It's amazing what the earth can form from catastrophe. The current landscape was obviously formed by a cataclysmic event from volcanos and earthquakes in the area, but God was able to fill it all back in with breathtaking beauty.

We saw moose, bear, elk, eagle, wolf, deer, goats and sheep, as well as people from the world over. We met people from California, England, Switzerland, Germany, Florida, Philly, New York, Washington, Asia, Ohio and many many other places too numerous to count. We saw so many mountains we got cricks in our necks, but never tired of the view.

God is very creative and works it all out for our good (our enjoyment). I can't wait to return.

Listening to the Voice of God

2011-02-23T10:11:00.000-05:00

Our preacher’s been talking about this the last few Sundays and he’s just done a great job inspiring us to listen to the quiet voice of God.

Here’s a link if you’re interested in hearing what he had to say.

It has been good for me to hear the messages and to be reminded that I need to actively listen to my God’s voice. I must confess that I don’t always cultivate an atmosphere where He is welcome to interrupt me. I’m just as busy as anyone, and in fact, like to be busy, so I have to consciously make time to just listen to what He has to say.

I can remember as a young boy listening to a visiting preacher talk about how he and God had talked recently and I was overwhelmed that someone could actually talk to God and that God would talk back, as if He was personally interested in what we had to say. That awe struck feeling at such a thing has stayed with me over the years. I talk to God now as if He is my friend and constant companion. I talk to Him in whispers, out loud and through music, but do I ever just sit and listen to Him? Not as often.

Kathy will complain from time to time that I don’t listen to her closely enough and it’s true. I often let my mind wander while she’s talking and it’s just plain rude that I ask her to repeat what she just said. I should listen attentively to her every word because she’s important to me, and I need to know what’s on her mind.

How much more important is my God? I need to shut up on a regular basis and let Him speak His mind to me. He loves me and cares for me so much and I need to know Him as well as I can. The bible even says we have the mind of Christ. I just hope my mind is not kept so busy I can’t hear His.

A challenge, but a promising one that I look to enthusiastically.

Valentine’s Day?

2011-02-11T13:01:00.001-05:00

Every day is Valentine’s day at my house. I am fixated on my wife and make it my goal to show her how much I love her in new ways every day. I buy flowers, do the laundry, clean up the kitchen and house, do the driving, give her kisses all the time, text her throughout the day telling her how much I love her and how great she is.

To be honest, I haven’t always been this obsessed, but I like doing it now. It has a lot to do with the cancer medicine I’m on, but it’s really just enhanced the feelings I’ve always had.

In fact, we were talking last night and both admitted that at one time or the other we each had doubts about our marriage. I think it’s only normal to have those feelings and to work through them, and we both did. Those struggles actually enforced our commitment to each other, so, in that case, they’re beneficial. I’ve often compared my wife with other women and she’s always came out at the front of the line. I just can’t imagine being married to anyone else. We are so different in so many ways, but those things don’t bother us in the least.

We like different styles of music; we don’t handle stress the same; we have different tastes in T.V. shows; she is easily embarrassed and I love embarrassing her; I’m more organized; she’s good at math, I’m good at English; I work with computers and they’re terrified of her. I think it might work to our advantage to be such opposites in so many ways because it forces us to be patient and unselfish toward each other, and isn’t that what life is all about? We are all born selfish and it takes a lifetime to unlearn that. Marriage should be a tool that helps us if we’ll let it. It’s so very easy to be selfish with our time and interests, but if we really love our mate we’ll push those aside for them. I try and treat my wife as if she’s a princess. I want her to think she’s the most important person in my world and I would not hesitate to change my plans if it would benefit her in any way.

She’s always been my best friend since the moment I met her, and I didn’t care who criticized me for that over the years, I think that’s how a husband and wife are supposed to act like. When I was first married and someone asked me to do something I’d want to check with Kathy to see if she minded and would get ridiculed and criticized for it. I didn’t care. I knew I’d rather spend time with her than anyone else anyway.

So, anyway, I bought her some flowers while I was at lunch today and I’m taking her out to eat tonight for Valentines. I’ll probably get her a little something else on Monday just because it’s the official day anyway…...

And, she’s worth it!

Bored

2011-02-08T14:31:00.000-05:00

Bored with the internet???? Can you imagine someone being bored with the information of all time close to your fingertips? It’s just that I tend to visit a few choice sites that perk my interest for whatever reason and I get easily bored with the rest. Of course, my interests will perk up instantly if I need to know how to do something I have avoided trying over the last 50 something years. Like fishing (I know how, but don’t really know how if you know what I mean); cabinet making (I can work with wood but am not really very good at conceptual design and am not really patient); uh, setting up a home energy system. I have some interest in each of those but haven’t pursued them either because of lack of time or money.

I’ll tell you what I really want to do…

Build a massive custom tree house for the grandkids. Or maybe an indoor train track that runs all over the basement. Or maybe build a large custom swing set for the gk’s.

As you can tell, I’m really into having stuff around for my grand kids. Like most men I’m just a kid at heart anyway, and really get a kick out of them having fun.

For instance, this weekend Tony invited me to go to a movie with him, Chase and Hunter. After the movie we went to WalMart to get Taylor a birthday gift and Tony asked me to pick something out for my birthday too. I’m sure he expected me to visit the tool or sporting goods department, but instead found a remote control 4x4 rock crawler for me and the kids to play with. And, although it went through 8 AA batteries in 2 days, it as a load of fun. The only problem I had was making them share control of it.

Anyway, I’m still bored with the internet.

Drug Test Today

2011-02-02T10:31:00.000-05:00

It’s not been that long since I was called downstairs to pee in a cup, but I got called randomly again today. I do take drugs, but they’re the ones the doctor has prescribed to me so I’m not worried about the outcome of this.

But, the thing that bothered me was knowing that all that woman does for a living is handle urine. She has to recite the same litany over and over to be sure that each person goes through the same routine, assuring complete fairness and control. Can you imagine waking each day knowing you had to do the same monotonous thing that you did yesterday, with no chance of a change of scenery? And the only scenery is a yellow liquid?

I’m sure glad there are people that don’t mind doing those kinds of jobs. And, I’m grateful that I don’t have a job like that. I could do it and I’m not too proud, but I’m glad I don’t have to. I’ve had all sorts of jobs over the years, including doing all the dirty work that’s required of parents (my wife has a queasy stomach and could never help the kids when they were sick), but there’s just a few I don’t want. Like, a roofer, or a urine handler, or working at the water works, or working at the dump.

I guess I just have another thing to be thankful for.

Songs That Just Make You Feel Good

2011-01-27T10:48:00.002-05:00

So, last night I started on a new playlist for my IPOD. Actually, the idea came to me yesterday while listening to a John Mayer song and thinking that it sounded really fun and made me feel good. I then asked some friends I work with to give me their suggestions for a new playlist called, “Feel Good Songs”.

I sat at my desk at home last night for over an hour going through my vast collection of music and made a great start on it. And as I was doing it I realized that most of them would fit into a certain tempo that would be easy to dance to. I’m guessing they make us feel good because they have a tempo that our bodies or souls find sympathetic. A good many of them have a temp that is close to “Some Kind Of Wonderful” by Grand Funk if you’re familiar with that. I’m listening to them today while at work to see if they really fit the category or not. So far I like ‘em all. Here’s the list I have thus far, but will add more soon.

Twisting By the Pool – Dire Straights
What I like About You
Oh, Pretty Woman
I Love A Rainy Night
Good Love Is On the Way
Drivin’ My Life Away
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Good News – Les Paul and Friends
I Got A Line On You – Jeff Healey
Some Kind Of Wonderful - GFR
Sweet Home Alabama
What Was I Thinking – Dierks Bently
Love Shack
Penny Lane – Beatles
Here Comes The Sun
She Came IN through The Bathroom Window
Get Back
Back In The USSR
Jim Dandy – Black Oak Arkansas
Feeling Alright – Joe Cocker
The Valley Road – Bruce Hornsby
Maneater – Hall & Oates
Got My Mind Set On You – George Harrison
The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – BTO
Ride Like The Wind – CC
Suddenly I See – KT Tunstall
Sledgehammer – Gabriel
Roll With It – Winwood
Joy to The World – 3 Dog Night
Last Night – Toto
New Blue Moon – TTW
Daydream Believer – Monkeys
The 59th Street Song (Feeling Groovy) - Paul Simon
Wake Up Little Susie – S&G
You Can Call Me Al – S&G
Graceland – Paul Simon
Down ON the Corner – CCR
Handy Man – James Taylor
Your Mama Don’t Dance – Loggins and Messina
Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me – Keith Urban
Why Don’t We Just Dance? – Josh Turner
Firecracker – JT
Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison
Take It Easy – Eagles
Lord, I Lift Your Name on High – Petra
Your Rescued Me – Among Thorns
Good Times – Robert Randolph
Can’t Get Next To You – Temptations
My Girl – Temptations
Get Ready – Rare Earth
All About Grace
All She Wants To Do Is Dance – Don Henly
Confessions Of a Lunatic Friend – Bryan Duncan
Gonna Fly Now (Rocky Theme Song)
Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer
Pinball Wizard – The Who
Glad – Traffic
Gimme Some Lovin’ – Spencer Davis Group
When A Man Loves A Woman – Michael Bolton
Blessed – Brett Dennen
Red Rubber Ball
Spooky

Perspective

2011-01-24T08:27:00.001-05:00

I hate cancer. I hate death. I hate sickness. I hate pain. I hate ilness and anything else that hurts people. Now, I know for certain that God never intended this to enter our world. The bible is clear that we turned the world over to the rule of the devil when we chose to sin. Oh, I hate sin too. It's not that I don't sin or don't like to sin from time to time, but I wish it wasn't even there. One of the things I'm looking forward to in heaven is the absence of the devil and all the stuff he suggests we do. I don't like to sin 'cause it hurts my Dad (God) and it causes death in me, and those are 2 good reasons to avoid it.

I have a cousin who is very, very sick with cancer right now. We stopped by her house Saturday evening to see her and I realized again how much I hate cancer and all that other stuff. Cancer has taken a beautiful, intelligent, loving young woman with a husband and 2 children to take care of and confined her to a chair in her living room. She has to take meds to keep fighting and meds to make her feel better from what the other meds are doing to her. It's just disgusting and heartbreaking. After spending a few minutes with her I realized that I had no problem in dealing with my cancer. You ask me how I'm doing and I'll just say, "great". There's just nothing wrong with me when compared with others. I guess that's called "perspective", right?

Perspective is a good thing in my opinion. It allows you to step back and see things from a different view. I’ve always explained the mystery of God that way. It’s like you’re looking at a tall office building from 2 miles away. You can see the whole building and you can tell the color, shape and some of the nuances of the structure and you think, “Yes, I’ve seen that building and I know what it looks like”. But, the closer you get to the building the more detail you can make out and you realize that what you saw before was only a small bit of the beauty of the building. The closer you get, the more you see and the more there is to see. It all has to do with your perspective.

So, I take a look at my life and the small amount of trouble and pain I’ve experienced and I compare it to others and I just can’t complain. I’ve been blessed beyond anything I could have ever dreamed would have happened to me. I almost lost my life when I was younger due to stupidity and sin and now realize that I don’t deserve any of this wonderful life God has given me. .

Getting Ready for Christmas

2010-12-03T17:22:00.000-05:00

When you’re a grandparent this time of year is really fun, especially if you can afford to buy your grandkids anything. We’ve got a little breathing room right now so we’re having fun buying all of them some Christmas. I wouldn’t dare post what they’re getting (a few are very computer literate) but it’s enough to say that the girls are getting girl stuff and the boys are getting really cool toys that I would love to play with! You all know that boys never really grow up. In fact, most of us would love to have access to a Toys-R-Us for a day or so, using up every battery in the store playing with the remote control toys.

I’ve never thought of it before, but that would be a good way for a wife to keep her man happy. Buy him a new toy every month or so and give him and his friends time to play with them. I know I’d love it.

I wish I could justify dropping $75.00 on a remote control boat for our neighborhood lake. I might even let the grandkids try it, but I doubt it. I’m afraid they’d sink it or run it into the bank. If I do it, it’s my money, but if they do it I might get mad. Who cares if I’m 58 years old? I still like toys!

My son-in-law and I spent some time last weekend wandering around Home Depot and Lowes, which are really toy stores for older boys. I finally told him to get me out of the place before I bought a combo set that was not budgeted for Christmas. I have a good many projects to do around the house and it seems like each of them require a special tool (at least in my mind), so I want one of nearly everything.

I have managed a great deal of self control and am waiting patiently for Christmas so I can take over the cool toys from my grandsons. I’ll let them play with them, but come on, let your old PawPaw have a go, okay?

Just say something nice

2010-11-11T10:09:00.001-05:00

I work with a lot of really nice people. We have very few people in our department that are just hard to get along with. In fact, there’s very few in the whole company. It’s a utility that has been managed well over time and there’s always been a family atmosphere no matter where you meet the employees. There are some people who are ‘less friendly’ but for the most part everyone gets along well.

When you’ve worked in that type of environment for a while you start expecting that kind of behavior wherever you go. That’s why rude people surprise me so much. When I try to do business with someone and they’re just rude or short in their responses it just knocks me back on my heels. I try to just smile and let it go, but sometimes I get my back up too.

That’s not really what I wanted to say actually. Today, I received an email from a guy I sometimes interface with that gave me some light praise for the way I handled a problem. He copied my manager, which was nice, and it really made me feel good and appreciate him more. It was just a small gesture that cost him nothing but a few minutes to type it, but it was important to me. What made it even more special is the fact that he’s not known to do that very often. I guess my action was so surprising to him that he felt compelled to note it.

Of course, it made me realize how important it is for me to do the same to those around me. It doesn’t take much energy or time to write a quick note, but it can really make someone’s day when you do. I think I’ll do that more often.

Kathy and Computers

2010-11-06T18:10:00.002-04:00

KATHY AND COMPUTERS
There's an episode on Andy Griffin where Jerry Van Dyke plays a character who can do nothing right. Every job he attempts he ends up messing up more than he is supposed to fix. He's just an accident waiting to happen. And that's the way my wife and computers are. She can walk by one and the screen will start to twitch.

Well, it's not that bad, but it is pretty bad. She just doesn't understand them and I can't seem to help her with it. I admit I'm a bit impatient because I work with computers for a living and expect her to know stuff she doesn't. I've been trying again to help her learn more and I'm making myself sit back and let her do it. She's picking some things up now that will help her but she still gets very, very frustrated when she has to do more than read an email.

She called me into the office one evening and I could not believe what she had accomplished without even trying. She had apparently laid her arm across the keyboard which triggered a key sequence that caused the screen to switch sideways. I had personally never seen that happen and could do nothing but laugh. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to fix it back but still can't figure out how she caused it.

Another time she messed up her email view so bad that it took me nearly 30 minutes of pouring through the help files to get it set back up. I just sort of looked at her side ways with that old "what have you done" look.

Last night she was trying to print labels for her client base from an old laptop up in my computer area. She was using my printer since it was closest to the laptop. Well, the laptop is old and the printer doesn't feed right all the time, which led to a day of frustration for her. The first problem I discovered when I came home was that she hadn't plugged the printer into the computer's USB port. When I fixed that and she tried to print the printer fed 3 or more sheets of paper at a time. She decided to print one at a time but the print queue hung up on the computer. I can't get a command prompt or computer services to come up on the computer, so I couldn't get it un-hung without booting it. I googled the problem and found a script that would reset the print spooler but it didn't help. I tried deleting the files from \system32 directory but couldn't because the spooler had them tied up. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

At last I decided to boot the computer, take it to her office and print them on her printer. That sounds easy enough except the screen gave up long ago on the laptop so I had to move a monitor too. And it's an old piece of lead monitor that probably weighs 20 pounds. So, I lug it all down stairs and hook it up, set up the labels for her and hit print..........Yeah!!!!!!

Now, I really need to take the time to sit her down and teach her how everything works, sigh.

Point Of Purchase

2010-11-04T08:50:00.000-04:00

Our new band, Point Of Purchase, played at our former church Sunday, the 24th and had a really great time. We are a 4 piece and are still getting used to playing together in this configuration. I’m on vocals and rhythm guitar (mostly acoustic), George (normally a drummer or bassist) is on lead guitar, Jeffrey (usually on percussion) is on drums, and Dennis is on bass. Jeffrey is also doing vocals and we’re both doing harmonies for each other. I love having someone else doing vocals too because I like to do harmonies and my voice doesn’t hold up as well as it used to. Jeffrey has a great voice and a lot of experience in the sort of thing we’re doing, so he is great to work with.

Sunday was our first engagement in our present form and we were a bit nervous even though we were in friendly and familiar surroundings. We did songs we all know fairly well, but still felt a little uneasy for some reason. I was my usual addled brain self and forgot some of the lyrics but I think everyone is used to that by now. This cancer medication is making it worse and I struggle a good deal trying to remember the most familiar stuff sometimes. But, it’s a small price to pay for keeping the cancer at bay.

We set up in a line across the stage with me on the far left (viewing the stage from the audience), George, Jeffrey and Dennis. Jeffrey was on his kit and, since he was doing some of the vocals, we wanted him out front with us. He did such a good job on the drums, adding just the right amount of fill and keeping a steady beat. Dennis was his usual steady and colorful self on the bass and George, of course, was superb on lead guitar. I can never understand how George can play so clean while not using a pick. And he is very creative and inventive while he’s playing live.

We intro’d and closed with a little instrumental I had written, which also blended right into the first song. We were a little shaky on it but it came across all right I think. It’s always more fun to do your own music when you can, and although it was just a short instrumental, it was still fulfilling in a way playing other stuff isn’t.

We built the band in order to play restaurants and such and are still working on pop/rock/blues music, but we’re also at our very core a Christian band that plays worship and special music (of our own). It’s been a big job for us to get the pop stuff off the ground because only one of us has experience with that. We also are struggling with work schedules and deer season, but we’re still committed to that goal.

This is our current lineup (stuff we can do pretty well):
1. Ain’t No Sunshine
2. Anyway The Wind Blows
3. Authority Song
4. Lyin’ Eyes
5. Mellow Yellow
6. Oh, Pretty Woman
7. Peaceful Easy Feeling
8. Seven Bridges Road
9. Take It Easy
10. Tequila Sunrise
11. Blackbird
12. Crazy Little Thing Called Love
13. Free Fallin’
14. Good Love Is On The Way
15. I Love A Rainy Night
16. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door

Christian
1. Awesome Is The Lord Most High
2. Beautiful One
3. He Reigns
4. Surrender
5. Your Love Never Fails
6. It Is You
7. For The Lord Our God Reigns

A Weekend Camping

2010-10-21T08:55:00.001-04:00

We went camping last weekend and had a really great time. It was a short trip but was fun and the weather couldn’t have been better. It was cold at night though and my frequent trips outside the camper to relieve myself were excruciating.

My daughters and their families met us and it was nice for everyone to spend time together. We missed having my son and his kids with us but there really wasn’t room enough on this trip anyway.

Unfortunately, we missed our exit on the way down and drove 30 miles out of the way on Friday. We got there a good bit later than we had planned and ended up eating sandwiches instead of steak that night. No problem though. We were just ready to eat and didn’t really care what it was at that time.

Three of the grandkids were there, Chase, Taylor and Hunter. Chase met friends right away and had a great time hanging out with them. Taylor spent most of her time in her aunt’s laps or playing with her bothers. Hunter, our 3 year old, had his electric 4 wheeler and spent most of the time riding it. He’s really very good at steering now and could weave in and out of the trees without hitting much most of the time. He also kept us entertained with his very energetic personality. I cannot remember seeing anyone as much of a carbon copy of their dad than he is. Always ready to laugh; quick with his temper; and completely engrossed in whatever he’s doing, he is a joy to watch.

We were on a hike Saturday and he tripped over a root and fell flat. We were all expecting a little whining or some crying, but instead he grabbed a hand full of dirt and threw it angrily at the root that had caused the mishap.

All in all it was a nice relaxing and entertaining weekend spent away from the house and work. I love camping.

Hot

2010-08-18T07:55:00.002-04:00

It has been a really hot summer so far. Makes you wonder if Al Gore may be more than the inventor of the internet after all. Nah, he’s just an opportunist. And to top the summer off I have very regular hot flashes as a side effect of my medication. Don’t get me wrong, I understand just how minor a side effect it is compared to say ‘throwing up your meals every other day’, but it can be aggravating just the same.

I love to work in the yard, working in my flower beds, spreading mulch and dirt, laying out landscaping cloth and watering my plants, but I have to really keep an eye on my internal temperature due to this hot flash business. Sometimes it feels like I’m cutting grass with a Franklin stove stoked with seasoned hickory. I must sweat a quart of water every hour because after only fifteen minutes my clothes look like I just took them out of the washing machine. So, what I’ve learned to do is work about 20 to 30 minutes, come inside and stand in front of a fan while guzzling water. After about 5 minutes I’m ready to head back out and continue. It certainly takes all day to complete a major project, but I have to do it that way or you end up with heat stroke. A minor inconvenience, yes, and I’m not complaining at all, just stating the facts.

The only thing that really bothers me about the whole thing is the sweat that seems to be generated on my eyelids. I’m sweating so much that sweat keeps getting in my eyes which do not like it at all. I keep a rag with me to continuously wipe the sweat but there’s no way to keep ahead of it. I honestly feel like it must be my eyelids that are sweating even though that sounds crazy, but it certainly seems like it.

Oh well, such a small price to pay to live with cancer and not expire, so I’ll just keep wiping my brow and eyes and keep working. I’m just thankful I can work around the house and do what needs to be done. I certainly couldn’t afford to pay anyone to do it.

Happy Pills!!!!

2010-07-28T08:23:00.001-04:00

Well, I’m on happy pills now and have not felt much like writing for a while. I’m taking pills to help me with anxiety and they have sorta taken away my desire to expose my simple little world to others for a while. Now, who would have ever thought I’d be one to get anxious? I’ve always felt like I was able to cope with life with a smile and the ability to laugh at the hard turns. My buddy and I used to say to each other, “just don’t take yourself too seriously and you’ll be able to laugh at most things in life”. I feel like I’m an optimist in the center of my being. I tend to look with confidence at the future and don’t usually have much of a feeling of dread, but because of this cancer medicine I’m taking I could not control my feelings. My wife insists that I’ve been depressed for a while (because of the cancer) but I didn’t think so. Sure, I was irritable and couldn’t sleep and couldn’t control morbid thoughts, but other than that I was fine!

At any rate, I got to the point where I just couldn’t stand myself any longer and got some help. They put me on Lexapro, which is a medicine that helps with depression and anxiety and man it works wonders. In 2 days I felt remarkably better and feel like I’m more like my old self now. I laugh more, criticize less and enjoy others and their company so much more. I am patient to a fault and love my family more like I used to. It’s a nice change and I’ve grown to appreciate these drugs more than I ever have.

In fact, there was a time when I didn’t think people should have to use them. Just man up and get over it, was my mantra and for years it seemed to work fine. But, the human mind is really a fragile thing and we are not as strong as we would like to believe all the time. Of course, my fragile mind was weakened a great deal in the 70’s when I abused drugs a great deal. I spent a month in the hospital unable to communicate effectively because of the accumulation of drugs in my system. Could it be that now, some 30 years later the scars are causing this weakness in my brain? Perhaps, or maybe it’s just a frailty that all of us have the potential to experience. Not sure, and it doesn’t really matter. The point is, I have found a need and these wonderful pills have put me back on track.

Just had to share this

2010-07-01T09:31:00.001-04:00

This link is from James Lilek's blog page. He is one of the masters of blogging and has been doing it a great while. He's a columnist by day and a blogger by night and I love to read anything he writes.

And this is from one of the many pages on his site that poke gentle fun of the 70's and 80's. You can't help but laugh at some of the stuff we used to take from granted.

http://lileks.com/institute/interiors/BHG/

2010-06-19T19:13:00.000-04:00

My daughter is doing well on her mission trip in Argentina. We have spoken with her twice on Skype (thank God for technology). She will be teaching English and working with the local missionaries wherever she's needed.

And now some looking back,,,,
tomorrow is father's day and I can't spend that day with my dad since he passed away many years ago. I was a senior in high school when his heart gave out and he got a new body in heaven. I was a great deal selfish then and didn't take the time I should have to talk with him about life, his life and what he expected of mine. I wish now that he had sat me down to talk about things, but I guess he was just thinking he'd get better soon.

He fought hard in WWII in N. Africa and Italy and came close to death over there a number of times. We found out a little of his adventures when his captain came over and they spent the evening swapping stories. My mom sat up and listened and passed all she could remember on to us. He was blown out of fox holes, drug his captain back into his foxhole, spent time trapped behind enemy lines and fought in close quarters in town after town. I would imagine it was similar to Saving Private Ryan and the battles they encoutered in the countryside. He was not even able to finish high school but was drafted in his senior year. Fortunately, Georgia Power didn't require that back then if he could pass and entrance exam.

And when he came home with all of those horrible memories still fresh in him mind, he got married, got a job, had kids and went to work, never asking for a 'thank you' and never feeling sorry for the turn his life took. Mom told us that when he first came home and the alarm clock would go off, he'd grab it and throw it across the room thinking it was a grenade. He just put it out of his mind as best he could and got to work raising his family.

I wish I could sit down with him now and ask him all about everything he experienced in life. I would love to know about his life growing up; when he got his first job; his first fight; his first kiss; his thoughts when he got drafted; his life over there; and all about his fears, failings and triumphs. I am a lot of who I am because of him. Jesus changed me a great deal after I met Him, but I'm still the son of John Richard Mulkey Jr. and and thankful for that.

Dad, set aside a few years for when I get to heaven. We've got some catching up to do.

2010-06-11T13:44:00.000-04:00

My third child is heading overseas today for a mission trip to Argentina. We are very excited for her but will miss her weekend visits of course.

Angela has always had a heart for missions. We read mission books to our children when they were young and encouraged them all to take short term mission trips with our churches. Angela really took it to heart and has gone on trips all over the world during the summers. This summer she'll be gone for 6 weeks so she can get a feel for what it's like on extended stays. She really wants to know if she can do it full time and thinks this will give her a feel for it.

Every child is different and each child has a different calling in their life. I never tried to point any of my kids in any particular field, but we did try and influence them to love Jesus. We encouraged them to do their very best, to work hard, to get along with others and to study. All of them have been successful in their lives and we're proud of all of them, but we're glad that God gave Angela a heart for missions. I think all of our kids have an interest in missions but they haven't been called to it as Angela has.

It's hard to let go of your kids and let God lead them away from you. My oldest daughter lives in Columbus and that's a long way to me, but if God calls Angela overseas it will be really hard to take. I know if He prepares her heart to go, He'll prepare ours to let her. It may not be easy, but I'm willing if she is.

2010-06-01T07:43:00.000-04:00

It was a little on the hot side this weekend, with occasional bursts of cool breezes. I was able to get lots of stuff done, but it was a struggle.

I'm on this medicine for the cancer and it has chosen to affect other areas of my body too. For one thing, it makes me sorta tired and, of course, it gives me hot flashes. Now, being tired and trying to work is a challenge, but couple that with hot flashes in 80 degree weather and you can see how it can kick your butt.

I managed to get my mom's yard cut Saturday and helped my wife clean her house. We then headed to Columbus to work in my daughter and son-in-law's yard with them on Sunday. We planted around 25 bushs on Sunday and it was hard with those sudden attacks of internal heat that set me on my butt. On Monday we were able to clear out some grown-up weeks and lay pine straw over the various islands in the front yard. We just took our time getting that done so as not to get to hot, so it wasn't too bad.

All in all it was a good, fruitful weekend and we were able to enjoy the view as we drove away. That's the nice thing about gardening and landscaping, you get such a feeling of accomplishment everytime you look on the results of your hard labor.

2010-05-24T10:46:00.000-04:00

We had the whole family over this weekend, four kids (but only one spouse could make it), 5 grandkids and me and the beauty. When you have all the grandkids over together it actually works out better because they tend to play together outside, which makes the house a lot quieter. Of course, you also have the potential for far more whinning, crying, hurt feelings, tattling and fussing, but that's considered part of the territory and is expected when one has children. All in all, the kids had a great time and we did too. And I only got aggravated once or twice.

We all went fishing on Saturday evening, with the grandkids trying to help and wanting in on the action too. Even the 2 year old was able to reel in line a little which produced a huge smile on his face. Chase got snagged by a hook which brought screams and tears for far longer than it was worth, but he wasn't hurt much. Unfortunately, we didn't catch much. I think we only got like 2 snags and only one made it to shore. Taylor, five, snagged one, started crying and wouldn't reel it in, so it got away.

It didn't matter though. We all had fun and I stayed busy unsnagging line and fixing hooks. When you have that many girls and children someone has to spend their time making sure everyone is doing things effeciently.

We celebrated my wife's birthday and I gave her a new rod and reel, which she loved. It's hard buying for her because I can't buy her clothes (don't know how) and she doesn't wear much jewelry, so the fishing gear made good sense to me. It's something she's always wanting to do and we've only got old cheap rod and reels. The rest of her present will be dropping everything in the evenings and taking her to the lake (on our street). It's loaded with bass and we've got a canoe, so it's just a matter of setting aside time and doing it (something I'm not good at).

Family is one of my favorite things and it makes for a great, fulfilling weekend.

2010-05-18T08:24:00.000-04:00

I've found that no matter what may happen in my life that I catagorize as 'bad', I can find someone else who is going through something worse. Of course, we all know how easy that is, but we don't usually try when we're in the middle of some illness or family crisis.

I'm going through cancer treatment, but it's not chemo. I have some sucky side effects that I hate, but hey, it's not chemo, okay? I have a friend that has just wrapped up a round of chemo and it's not something I would order from a buffett. It makes you sick to your stomach and your bones ache. So, I can count my blessings even though I have cancer.

I have another friend who has a small child in the hospital trying to recover from brain damage. She was in a car wreck with her mom and ended up with the most injuries. I just can't imagine seeing my child suffer like that, so I can consider myself blessed.

My wife and I sat down the other night and took turns counting our blessings. It was an encouraging excercise that really helped us focus on how good God has been to us. For instance, all of our family has jobs, which is a big thing in this economy. We're not taking that for granted and we're giving thanks that God has blessed us in that way. And even though we have some health issues (at least I do), we are able to do what we need to do and we're able to enjoy ourselves without depending on walkers, crutches or motorized wheel chairs.

Bottom line: Thank you God

2010-05-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

I'll never know what it's like to be mother. I know it's a little bit similar to being a dad, but based more on emotions it would seem. There's a solid, unbreakable bond between a woman and her child that is just completely different than that of a man and his children. I can often remove myself emotinally from whatever conflict arises in my child's life. I can say, "well, do this and that and perhaps you'll make it through". I can even step away and let them fall if they're heading over a hill, but mom has a tougher time doing that.

She wants to step in and fix things. She feels their pain and can soothe their wounds. She offers wise counsel when needed and can just as quickly step in with a rebuke. She knows how to sew and what knows which color of clothes can be washed together. She wipes away tears and knows what to do with a sore throat. She'll stay up late to sit with her sick child and will rise early to fix their morning meal. She is tireless; persisten; faithful; gentle or harsh, depending on the circumstances; watchful; caring; soothing; industrious; and can wear any other hat whenever she's called on.

I put my mom through her own private hell when I was younger. She prayed faithfully for me and was patient with me while enduring hardship. I was selfish and lost and did not appreciate her love for a number of years. I have found forgiveness and have tried to be a good son since those days. I will be eternally grateful for such a loving mother. I know I can never pay her back, except to love her. And that I'll try and do while we're together on this earth.

I love you Mom

2010-04-27T17:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I have to be thankful for medicine I suppose. It does have it's benefits, that's for sure. Like, prolonging life, blocking pain, and easing the runs. But, in my case right now it's also making me 'normal' again, whatever that is. I feel much better today than I have for the last week or so and I'm grateful. I can actually sit at home alone and not obsess over things I have no control over. Last week was scary and I did not like it, not one little bit. I could not get my mind to behave and focus on what I knew was true. It just wanted to focus on bad things that I knew was untrue, but no matter how much I tried I could not get it under control. I don't know if you've ever experienced it, but it's bad.

We're assuming it's a side effect of the drug I'm taking to control my cancer. I have no other reason to be depressed that I know of, so I'm hanging the blame on it.

Now, during this ordeal, the one thing that was constant was my wife's understanding and patience way with me. She is the most amazing woman, full of compassion; thoughtful; caring; gentle and loving. She accepted no offense when I offered it, knowing it wasn't me that was speaking, but the depression. She listened without judgement and didn't try to figure things out for me. She was patient and loving during the whole ordeal. And when I found that I couldn't make logical decisions (like pick out a pair of shoes), she helped me out. She called the doctors for me and even found a set of tires for my car. I just couldn't get my mind to work and she sensed it. When I had to drive to Columbus to work on my daughter's house she volunteered to go with me because she knew I wouldn't do well driving that far on my own. And we really enjoyed the ride because we were able to talk things through during the trip.

I have to say again, that she is the love of my life and for good reason. She is one in a million and I can't believe she chose to live her life with someone like me. I, above all me have been blessed beyond what I deserve in this life. Thank you Lord for my wife!

You’re my closest friend, a bond that will not end

You and I together, we can face the stormy weather

and wherever I may go, you’ll be there for me I know

the warmth of your embrace I know could never be replaced

and I will never understand why you would stay

I know I try your patience everyday

but you’re my friend

You’re my closest friend I’m a amazed at how we blend

me and all my thoughtlessness and your patience never ends

and as we both grow old you’ll be there for me I know

you always seem to be a source of constant strength to me

And every dream I ever dreamed you answered

On the day that we both said I do

How can I begin to ever thank you, oh for all you do

Lynn Mulkey

2010-04-18T17:34:00.000-04:00

The nurse gave me my injection about 3 weeks ago. It's a drug that shuts down my prostate gland and makes a few other changes in my body. After she gave me the shot, I asked her if I should expect any significant side effects, like rolling on the floor fits. She said, "No, but you'll turn into a a woman". I laughed with her not fully knowing what she meant, but I have slowly found out. The hot flashes were the first signs that something was changing. I would be just fine, and then, without warning would get a hot flush that I could not control . They varied in intensity and usually occurred early in the morning and late in the evening. But, more and more they are getting more frequent and it's a pain in the butt. But (no pun intended), it's something I can live with.

But this weekend has been a challenge, and one that I have detested. I didn't really realize that I was getting in a depressed state until sometime Thursday or Friday. I just knew I was irritable and I didn't want to do much in the evenings. Kathy was busy with her real estate business and was not home much and I found myself blaming her for little stupid things that she had no control over. I knew it was stupid but just couldn't get through it. She then spent Saturday evening at a class reunion while I sat at home and that just made it worse. By Sunday morning (after very little sleep that night) I was in a pretty bad state. I talked to Kathy about and the preacher seemed to know what was going on (smile), and it was good to get it out of my chest.

We ended up driving over to Alabama on Sunday and just relaxing and by this evening I'm feeling much better. I just realized that if this is what women go through during menopause, then I feel their pain. It's a special taste of hell when you know you're thinking wrong but can't control it.

This medicine may help me live a bit longer by keeping the cancer in check, but dang it I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

But, you know what they say? "Oh well!"

2010-04-15T09:42:00.000-04:00

Well, it's yard work season again and I am so glad. By the time April awakens from it's slumber we're all grumpy and restless and ready for a change. I find myself examining the Bermuda for signs of life every day hoping that walking on it will hurry the process.

I've actually contracted with a lawn service this year after comparing my lawn with my neighbor's and realizing it was no competition. It's like a 90 pound 9th grader trying out for a college team, I just didn't stand a chance. I did all the right things but apparently spraying on fertilizer and weed killer works better than the granuals. Go figure,,,

We're actually getting some money back from the IRS this year, which is nice for a change, and we've allocated $500.00 to the yard. I'm so happy! It's like Christmas in the spring except I'm just buying stuff for myself instead of the kids and grandkids. I hooked up my trailer to Tony's truck and headed to the landscaping stores, buying a few loads of dirt, rock and sand and went to work on the back yard. I filled in a ditch with river rock to try and keep my yard in place in one area and planted some more thatch in another. I made 2 raised beds and bought a few plants to decorate them with. I still need to spread some pine straw in my existing flower beds but just ran out of energy and time this week. I took Tuesday off of work to do some work, but when you're by yourself you can only do so much. I love doing it, but it is tiring.

I still haven't decided on what to plant in the new beds. I've planted a few things but still have a large bed to decorate. It takes me a little while to make those kinds of decisions. It's a combination of inexperience and not knowing enough about the plants. I do a lot of reading on it, but there's just so much to take into account. Do you plant annuals, perennials, evergreens, grasses or whatever? Also, how long and when do they bloom? Aaaaaahhhh, too many decisions.

I do like the creativity involved though. It may take me longer, but it's theraputic. And, as I've gotten older I've found I need more of these kinds of things to keep me busy and focused.

Missed my friend

2010-04-12T10:12:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, I lost a great friend a number of years ago and to be honest have never gotten over it. Ben was a unique person and the best friend I've ever known. He was intensely interested in my life, my family's life and made an that extra effort to help us live up to God's standards. He was a talker who, when we had a meal together, saw it not as an opportunity to eat, but to talk. When we took a table at a restaraunt I let the waiter know that we would be there a while and I tried to tip well.

I've got a lot of very good friends that I love dearly but I've never met anyone like Ben. I prayed the other day,,,"Lord, I'm sure you already given Ben his rewards, but would you give him one for me for being such a good friend?"

Sweet, sweet memories

2010-04-06T08:43:00.000-04:00

You know, the brain is simply fascinating. In fact, it's fascinating that my brain is even now thinking about how fascinating it is. The brain is aware of itself and is aware of how complex and mysterious it is. It is aware of itself, but it can't explain itself. I've asked it many times why it can't do a better job or why it seems to be getting lazy as I age, but it just shrugs as if it hasn't a clue. I've tried sitting and meditating on it as if it will reveal where it's hidden past events and I just can't make any headway.

Memory is very selective. We tend to remember things that are pleasant and that make us smile and feel warm and cozy. That's a good thing really. Who wants to remember what it was like when Brenda Starkly made you feel like a backwoods hick with 3 teeth? Wait, did I actually write that? Can't remember.

Memories seemed to be locked in a safe and you have to have the right combination to retrieve them. Music is an obvious key to a lot of memories, especially love and lost love memories. It's the reason we tend to avoid some songs. Of course, the older we get the less we remember exactly what the song is attached to. It's more of a feeling that sorta warms you belly. Puppy love is a great feeling that we all cherish and songs just conjure them up like the smell of lilacs in the spring. And songs from childhood will be forever locked in our noggins. I was surfin' the web yesterday and ran across the song, "Open Up Your Heart And Let The Sunshine In". I don't remember where I heard it but I could sing along as soon as I heard it, and it invoked such a pleasant child-like feeling of innocence and peace! Ahhh, "Mom! Watch me Mom! Watch me do this!"

Bad memories have to be forcefully brought out of the darkness. We will often dwell on them and when we do we might initially like the taste, but soon remember tha pain and then must find something to drive them away again. I can still remember when my kids played sports and watching them be bullied. I devised all sorts of evil that should happen to the bullies and still will if I don't force my mind onto more pleasant thoughts. Dwelling on those sorts of things do no one any good and can open the door to bitterness and anger as quickly as anything.

I'm glad you can't remember physical pain. Now, I can remember that my kidney stones hurt like hell, but I can't actually remember the pain. All of those electrons are ghosts that quickly fade. I'm so glad. I have just enough memory to want to avoid pain, but not the pain itself.

I'm not sure why I started writing this. I had a very good reason, but just can't remember what it was. Think I'll listen to my IPOD a while and see if I remember.

Consistency and Faithfulness

2010-03-25T16:04:00.003-04:00

Consistency and faithfulness are good solid words that describe traits we should all nurture in our lives. I’ve been thinking about those traits lately because I’ve been thinking about some people I know who model them.

If I remember right, I was talking to someone recently about the different people who have impacted our lives for the positive. As I examined each of the people that I have admired I wondered what it was about them that caught and kept my attention, and these 2 traits kept creeping up.

They are actually 2 different character traits; consistency has to do with you they are and whether or not you change much over the years, where faithfulness shows how you behave themselves toward others and how well you keep your promises. One is internal and the other is external. And yet, they are so closely entwined and similar that we can easily substitute one for the other.

If you’re consistent, people know that no matter what you’re going through you will not change who you are as circumstances change. For instance, I know of a young girl that will either be nice or hateful, depending on what external pressure she is feeling. A consistent person will always relate to you in a nice and gentle way (hopefully) even if their world is crashing down around them. Think of Ashley in ‘Gone With The Wind’ compared to Miss Scarlet. No matter what happened to Ashley negatively, she always had a smile and thoughtful word. Whereas the only thing consistent about Scarlet was her inconsistency.

The kinds of people I was thinking of are always nice, gentle, patient, thoughtful and caring toward others. No matter pressures are on them from their jobs, kids, family members or friends they always greet you with a smile and an honest “How do you do?” And I emphasize honest.

Faithfulness is exhibited by how our consistent lifestyle is shown in relation to our promises, whether stated or implied. If we promise to be somewhere you can count on us to be there unless seriously detained. You don’t have to wonder if someone is going blowing you off or are lying. Their lifestyle gives you the assurance that they can be trusted. How can their lifestyle indicate that over time? Well, they show up even when they know there will be un-pleasantries involved. In other words, they don’t shy away from a fight or a situation that they know will cause them pain or where they know they will suffer loss. If a person is faithful in the hard times, they will be faithful anytime and you can count on them.

Say your friend is going through a tough time and it’s effecting their disposition to the point where everyone dreads seeing them. All they do is gripe and complain and snap at those they love because they are sick or worried to the point of distraction. A faithful friend will visit them anyway, endure the unpleasant conversation, smile and maybe even offer a prayer for their quick recovery.

I knew of a guy who visited his friend often when he was going through treatments for cancer. He had to drive 20 or so miles to get to the hospital and it would have been so much easier for him to just stay home, but he didn’t. He got his things together every few days and drove to the hospital to spend time with his friend. The friend eventually died, but he died knowing someone loved him, and loved him enough to spend time with him. Faithfulness is hidden away until it’s inconvenient, then it’s like a light that has been turned on and you can’t see it until it’s dark outside.

A faithful person has to be able to endure hardship and has to have some kind of inner peace and joy. Without that inner peace and steadiness they’d simply choose the easiest path in every situation and would be known as ‘unfaithful’. Having an ‘self’ built on a solid foundation makes a faithful person. Those who are not faithful are those that are easily distracted by the fulfillment of the moment and pay no attention to the cost. Their only concern about the cost is that someone else will pay it.

So, the question is, “am I a faithful and consistent man”? Do I shine in the darkness and am I always the same person no matter what pressures are pushing in on me? I always judge myself harshly and dishonestly and besides, it’s hard to judge yourself rightly on these points, but I hope so. And I’ll continue to strive to be.

Wouldn’t it be great if our tombstones simply said, “Faithful and Consistent”?

A Musician Without A Band Is Not Really Happy

2010-03-22T05:16:00.000-04:00

I retired from doing the worship leader stuff a couple of years ago. I've still got a band that I can round up pretty quickly, but we don't have a regular gig anymore. I find myself wanting to get back in now; wanting to have something to work for; wanting to play with others on a weekly basis and it's just not come together.

David and Dennis and I had the idea to put together a 3 piece, but because of their schedules we've decided to not do it. David's business has him traveling too much to learn the material and make it to practice every week, so it just didn't work out. Now I've found myself with a big question mark over my head. And everywhere I go it just stays with me (like a dark cloud hovering just above my head).

I've called a couple of buddies that I've worked with before and neither have panned out yet. Ricky can't because he's starting a new business and George had to cancel lunch with me yesterday because his church service went on too long. It would be great to get George to work with. He is an amazing musician who can do it all and do it well. He's a drummer now, but is also very good on guitar and bass. He's tied up at his church every Sunday and that may keep him from agreeing to anything else, but we'll see.

I've got the best schedule now, because I work regular hours; am home by 5 and am not committed to play at my church. In fact, we've just started getting involved at our church so we're not tied down at all.

So, I've been asking the Lord over and over about what I'm supposed to do now as a musician. I don't feel like I'm supposed to get involved much at this church, but I don't know what else I can do. The sermon yesterday really helped though. The pastor was talking about something altogether different than my problem, but he quoted a verse that really spoke to me, "Isa.30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

God will let me know what He wants me to be involved in. I just have to keep asking Him and keep knocking on people's doors until I find out His plan. He is not in the habit of withholding information for spite so I know I can count on Him for this.

Okay, my delete key has just messed up and it's driving me crazy. On a Mac it's the backup key, which I use constantly. So, I'm wrapping this up now. You get the picture anyway.

Sites that might interest you if you are a musician

2010-03-19T09:45:00.001-04:00

Interviews with well known musicians
http://www.livinglegendsmusic.com/

A professional sound technician who rubs shoulders with the famous bands
http://www.caughtupinthefable.blogspot.com/

Ever wonder about the background to a song?
http://www.songfacts.com/

What about guitar stuff like alternate tunings or how to play?
http://www.guitarnotes.com/

Songwriting tips
http://www.musesmuse.com/

Rhyming Dictionary
http://www.rhymezone.com/

More guitar stuff
http://www.guitarists.net

2010-03-18T15:33:00.002-04:00

Been a little under the weather lately and still busy, so I haven’t taken much time to write. As with most people, something’s got to be set aside when you’re feeling bad and it’s most certainly not gonna be T.V.

Actually, I haven’t watched a lot of it either. I’ve been mostly on the couch nursing a sick headache. I’ve found out it’s because my heart is much too strong for the rest of my body and it’s been pumping blood with too much force, causing a rise on the pressure excerpted on my veins. It’s a tragic situation that has no easy remedy except exercise (long term solution) and/or medicine (another long term solution). So, I go to the doctor and he says, “take your medicine and call me in a week to see if it helps”. The headache has eased off a bit for the last couple of days, hence me writing this.

I’ve watched a show called “Pickers” for a couple of nights where 2 guys scour the countryside looking for people who hoard stuff that eventually turns into antiques and/or collectibles. It’s fascinating to see how much stuff some people can accumulate. Where do they get the money to buy all that stuff is my question when watching it? I mean, some of these people have fortunes set aside in the form of ‘junk’ or antiques. It simply blows the mind at the volume in some of the barns and houses. And most of the people won’t sell anything. It’s like they’ve become married to it and just can’t part with the least little part of their memory. I’m sure in some cases it’s a sickness. One guy was finally talked into selling a couple of funny looking bowling jackets and that helped him let go of some of the really valuable stuff. But, before that he wouldn’t sell a scented candle. Funny! So, for the last couple of nights I’ve dreamed of crawling around old barns looking for junk.

On another note, people have been getting on my nerves lately. I’m not sure why everyone can’t be perfect like myself. But, until they do I guess I’ll just spend time being pissed.

Like the guy at church who can’t talk to you without getting on some teaching kick. I swear, every time I try to talk to him he gets this serious look on his face and starts going into the teaching mode. I know I don’t know much, but I just feel like there’s a time for that and there’s a time for just hanging out and talking about nothing. I knew another guy like that one time and found myself avoiding him whenever I could. Come on man, lighten up and smile a bit, okay? Church seems to bring that out in people. I guess it’s a way to appear ‘spiritual’ or something. But the people that seem ‘spiritual’ to me are the ones who are full of joy and are more concerned about you than what you know. Know what I mean?

Okay, you can tell I’ve not been feeling good, right? But sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.

Bleah!

Ramblings

2010-03-11T09:13:00.001-05:00

Got a new/used guitar the other day. My friend Ricky had something called a silent guitar made by Yamaha that I have wanted ever since I saw one. It's basically the neck of the guitar extended the whole length and 2 fake curved pieces of plastic attached to give it the appearance of a guitar. You plug headphones into it and play it privately wherever you may be. I can play it at home while Kathy's watching TV and not disturb her program. Ricky found that he didn't use it very often and offered it to me at a very discounted price so I jumped on it. I've enjoyed playing it this week even though Kathy's not been home to annoy with it. It has some built in reverb and sounds really good and full through the headphones. I love technology. But only if it's uncomplicated.

I spent the weekend helping someone move from Greenville S.C. back to Atlanta. My son and I did all the loading and completely filled up a 26 foot U-Haul. I was tired Sunday. In fact, we didn't go to church that day. I just didn't want to move. It's not that I was sore. I was a little, but I was mostly just tired. And grumpy. And I had to take off Monday to move the stuff into a storage building. It was a beautiful day Monday and I was grateful for the wonderful weather, but it did get a little hot in the back of the truck. My son's son noticed I was tired during the day and he said, "Pawpaw, you don't sound good". "Well, thanks Ian, I'm tired", "well, take a break Pawpaw" he said rather matter of factly. He's such a grown up sometimes.

It's amazing how much the weather affects our moods. It's been raining for a couple days now and it just sorta puts you in a lazy, relaxed mood. For all the comforts we've built over the years to protect ourselves from the weather, we still let it govern our outlook a great deal. If it's a sunny but not too hot a day, we're just chipper and happy. If it's cold out we can get grumpy and restless because we can't get out and enjoy the sun and wind in our face. For all our progress, we are still creatures of the earth.

And our band still hasn't practiced much. Everyone is always out of town with their businesses. I'm a little discouraged to be honest. It's hard to practice the music even though you know you should when no one else can play with you. Maybe things will settle down soon. I hope so.

Sometimes You're Down and Sometimes You're Not

2010-03-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

I know I've been a bit of a whiner lately because I've not felt great. I'm sorry, but I just say it like I feel it sometimes. Anyway, this week has been much better. I still have an annoying cough, but I can handle that by just covering my mouth, right?

Our little band has not been able to practice because the other guys are always out of town with their businesses. I can't really sing much but still wanted to practice on our guitars and stuff. Oh well, I'm sure we'll eventually pull it all together but I'm just a bit impatient. I'm always in a hurry for some reason and this is no exception. I've often heard that God has his time schedule and it never seems to line up with ours. I believe that's true. All I can see is a short life span and I need to cram in everything I can, but God sees the bigger picture and is not in a hurry like I am.

On a side note,,,,

Georgia weather is bipolar. One day it's sunny and warm and the next it's cold. It was actually warm at lunch today and now I've got the logs burning to stay warm. It's like winter is running short of breathe and is still trying to turn March into miserable. It can only get a short gasp of cold air out at a time and then needs to rest a bit before it hits us with another blow.

And that's all for today,,,

Drugs

2010-02-26T20:29:00.000-05:00

Getting well is a kick in the butt some times. What we've come to believe is that drugs can make us well, and in a lot of cases they can. But as they are working on one part of our body the other parts are suffering innocently. Ask anyone who is being treated with chemo therapy and they'll tell you right away that the cure can make you sick as a dog.

I'm being treated for cancer and fortunately I don't have to have chemo therapy. I'm being treated with a hormone that will hopefully keep the cancer from spreading. They can't really get rid of it at this point, but we just hope it stays in the prostate and doesn't get out and infect other parts of my body.

I had my first real treatment on Wednesday (2 days ago) and am just now feeling the effects. I am tired and fatigued and just don't feel like getting off my butt. I tried to help out over at my son-in-law's house when they were pulling up old carpet but just couldn't get myself going. I'm hoping this will not long and I'll feel better tomorrow because I'm just not used to feeling tired all the time.

Yes, it's a minor inconvenience compared to those who are fighting for their lives against more aggressive forms of cancer, but I just don't like it. I especially don't like to feel tired on the weekend. I've been sick 3 of the last 4 weekends and am looking forward to one where I can get outside and do some yard work.

I know I'm whining, but we all do from time to time.

There is so little justice in this world

2010-02-18T19:43:00.000-05:00

For any of you who have spent much time in church, you know that there are plenty of people who say they're Christians but you just can't understand why they do the things they do. Yes, they're called hypocrites and they're always blamed by non-church people as the reason they don't go to church. It's a problem that has always been and will always be until God sorts everything out in the future.

But occasionally you'll run into someone who just seems to exemplify the kind of life you envision should be labeled Christian. They are usually very humble and quiet (though not always quiet) and they just seem genuinely concerned about others more than they are themselves. And they do it all without drawing attention to themselves. When someone has a need they aren't just concerned about it, they do something about it. They just seem to use most of their energy attending to the needs of others.

That's the kind of person I know who has just learned she has cancer, and a very serious variety of the devil's brew. Why is it that someone like her gets this insidious disease and not someone who spends most of their time and money on themselves? There is just no real justice here on this earth. The rain falls on the just and the unjust; and cancer afflicts the just and the unjust just as well. And I think it just sucks.

God is God and I love Him, but I hate it when someone like my friend has to go through something like this. I don't wish cancer on anyone, to be sure, but why her?

All I can do is pray, pray, pray and I will.

But I'm not ashamed to say, "Damn cancer, damn it straight to hell".

A New Band - DLD (Don't Look Down)

2010-02-16T10:52:00.002-05:00

I have been playing guitar for something like 20 years now. And, by that I mean, seriously expressing myself on the instrument as compared to a general interest in it that includes strumming a few chords occasionally.

But, in all those 20 years or so (no, I don’t know when I really started) I have only learned and played Christian material, including my own. I have no apologies for that, as there is no need to. It’s just an observation.

I have played with many talented musicians and have enjoyed myself immensely. I have led or played with various praise bands over the years and have grown as a musician as a result. You never get beyond yourself until you play with someone a notch above you. It’s true in sports, music and almost any other endeavor. If you want to improve in an area start hanging with someone who is better than yourself and learn from them. And I have played with a lot of people who are much better than me.

So, after I retired from the last church as a worship leader I found myself sort of floundering in the music field. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I tried playing guitar at home and learning techniques on Youtube, but I was easily bored. I need another challenge in order to take the next step and keep my interest up. I had kept in touch with all the band members and we had talked about trying to get some gigs at other churches but for some reason I just couldn’t get motivated to do it. I was always the leader of the band and everyone still looks to me to keep us going, so if I wasn’t going to do it, it wasn’t going to get done.

Anyway, (where are you going with this?) two of the band members and I decided to put together a 3 piece band to do the Mexican restaurant scene. We are trying to learn some good rock oriented songs that sound good with a 3 piece and are going to mix in some Christian music too. That way, we can introduce some Christian rock to the non-Christian community, as well as entertain them with some music they’re more familiar with. I really hope it works out because I am really excited about doing it.

We worked about 8 hours on 3 songs yesterday and ended up sounding pretty good on them. They’ll need some more work, but it was a start and we can begin adding 3 more for our next practice. The first 3 are, “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers; “Big Weekend” by Tom Petty; and “Authority Song” by Seger. The Authority Song was the hardest to put together because it had the most moving parts, but we did a fair job for the 1st run through. I’m also excited about David and Dennis handling some of the vocals, at least some of the backups. Dennis sang along with a John Mayer tune last night on Youtube and he sounded great (I had never heard him sing before).

I’ll try and keep this thing updated on our progress. It’s a new adventure for me and I’m looking forward to seeing it come together. Wish us luck!

Birthday Party for One Of the Grandkids

2010-02-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

One of my grandaughters had a birthday last week and the family got together for a party. My other grandaughter will have one this Sunday. I just marvel at the toys that are available for kids now. It obviously has to do with my generation growing up after WWII and getting to live in prospertify and peace. We were showered in toys and games and free time like no generation before us ever was and we used that magic to create even more toys for the next generation.

I'm sure my parents had some toys when they were growing up, but it's a fact that most of them spent the marjority of their time working rather than in play. There were no organized ball teams, the scouts were for rich kids and there was little money available to purchase toys for the kids. People grew their own livestock and everyone had a garden and the kids went to work when they were in their early teens, if not sooner. And, it was real work like cotton mills, cotton picking, canning factories or other types of hard, manual labor.

My mom tells of growing up on a working farm and the challenges it presented. The kids toted water from across the street until they were able to put in their own well. The older son had to get up first and build a fire in the fireplace and kitchen stove. Of course, heating with wood meant that the boys had to cut firewood every year with a cross cut saw, split it and stack it. The had livestock that had to be fed before they went to school. In the summer there was a garden to be worked. I'll never forget one time complaining about raking the leaves to hear me uncle laugh and say they considered that fun when they were growing up. It was a hard life for years until the county put in gas to the area and my grandad was able to make improvements to the house like a shower and central heat.

So, after the stress of the war, those who made it through and found good, solid jobs had the money to spend some on their kids. They also had more time on their hands because they worked 8 hour days in most cases and did not have to work a farm on their off time in order to make a living. Their kids were also able to enjoy the benefits of a prosperous economy by receiving toys to play with. They did not have to help their parents as much by working the gardens and feeding livestock, etc..

Now our kids are not only enjoying the fruits of a prosperous era, but the added benefits of technology. They hold in their little hands a computer with more processing power than the one used to put a man on the moon. Their toys stretch the limits of technology and imagination and give them little opportunity to be bored.

My grandaughter is 5 years old and has a hand-held computer with numerous games; somewhere over 15 baby dolls or characters; a couple of art sets; a complete makeup set; doll strollers, high chairs and beds; and more clothes than a child in a developing country will see in a lifetime.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, I'm just making an observation. We had fewer toys as kids and still had a great time. I just hope they don't take it for granted and think it's their right in life to have stuff. I hope we can somehow show them that its a privilege and a blessing and not a right.

2010-02-05T01:21:00.000-05:00

It's one a.m. and I'm sitting up watching some T.V. and cooking some rolls. I've been battling a kidney stone all day and now I can't sleep. I haven't eaten much all day because every time I did I would throw up. The pain was just about as intense as anything I've ever dealt with and I walked around the living room all day trying to get it to pass. At one time I thought it must be trying to break free because the pain increased to a 12, but I don't think it ever left.

At this point I'm hungry and am not in much pain so I'm going to eat some rolls and try to go to bed a little later.

Not much left to say except,,,"Lord, please get this thing out of my body!!!!!"

Thankful That God Doesn't Share Secrets

2010-02-01T15:20:00.000-05:00

I knew a man once who on more than one occasion would expose the sins of others. I have no idea what his motive was but he had the opportunity to hurt many people, especially younger lives. He was in a position of authority over teenagers, whose sins are often more exposed than those of us who have spent a life time learning to hide our weaknesses and transgressions. I have often thought about this and wondered why someone would want to do that. I'll never figure it out and would not be satisfied if I heard the explanation from his own mouth. The funny thing was, he was highly respected by many in the Christian community in our area as if he were some noble example of what Jesus wants us to be. I just never could respect him and still don't.

But, I think I did learn something important from knowing him and seeing him in action and that is, I'm glad God doesn't share secrets. God sees our hearts and they are often dark and complex and filled with things that we wish would go away. It's often explained as a sin nature. It's our natural nature to sin and although we get tired of it and wish we wouldn't, we often find ourselves apologizing to God. And if we're all plagued with the same ailment why are we not more compassionate toward others in their weaknesses? It would seem that the more prudent method of handling transgression is to pull the person aside in private and encourage them to straighten out. At least that's the way I handle things.

God loves us, and I mean really loves us. He will not tolerate sin, and has provided a complete solution to sin. He will not intentionally embarrass us unless it's absolutely necessary, and sometimes it is. If there is a secret sin that we refuse to deal with God may very well expose it to others so that they can help us get over it. But, I'm convinced that's the exception rather than the rule. God most often just speaks to our hearts in private and reminds us that He loves us and wants us to stop whatever it is we're doing. He doesn't want to stand before the whole family of believers and announce, "hey everybody look at what he's done! Can you believe it? I would think he'd know better don't you?" That's just not the way God works.

Don't ask me why I decided to share this right now. I just often think about the whole thing and am often trying to sort it out, so I thought I'd just put it down on cyberspace. You may know who I'm talking about but I would be the last one to expose someone on purpose. I just needed to get it out of my system.

Please keep this confidential,,,,

The Big 'C' Word

2010-01-28T17:49:00.000-05:00

I can remember as a young boy hearing of cancer. It was a frightening word that meant unimaginable pain followed by certain death. And, I'm sure in the 60's people were considered 'dead men walking' if they got cancer. I knew I never wanted to get it. I mean, there you are minding your own business while an unknown and unwelcome parasite is taking over the inside of your body. And most of the time you never know anything is going on until it's too late.

I found out sorta by accident that I had prostate cancer. I had blood in my stool and went to the doctor about it. He brushed that aside as a simple hemorrhoid but wanted to get some blood tests while I was in. I'm glad he did now, because cancer had already taken hold down between my legs and was trying to ruin my love life. I had radiation treatment and the doctors assured me I could rest easy, the cancer would die.

Well, it did for a while, but now it's apparently back and we don't want it to advance any further. I just don't like the drugs they want me to take. The side effects sound like something you'd expect to occur in a concentration camp.

Kathy and I prayed about the whole mess last night and I found a great peace in the midst of the fear. Here's about how the prayer went,,,,

"Lord, Kathy and I love You and have served You faithfully all these many years. You have been my father for a long time, especially since my real father passed away so many years ago. I've relied on You to guide me and protect Kathy and I and have never worried or doubted that You would. And now the devil has attacked me with this insidious disease (I believe it's him trying to kill me) and I need You to help me. Please heal my body of this cancer and protect me from it's power. We love You and trust You to help us."

You know, I have a real peace about the whole thing. God has numbered my days and I may die tomorrow, but I have asked Him for at least 20 more years. I still have some stuff I want to accomplish in this life and I'm not in a hurry to get to heaven. I'll have eternity there, but I'm only given a little while here, so why get in a hurry? I'm confident that God will protect me and heal me. He will take me home only when He is ready and the devil and his cancer be hanged (they can go to hell for all I care).

Like a Rolling Stone

2010-01-27T05:19:00.000-05:00

Jan. 26, 2010, a day that will live in infamy. That's the day I had my first kidney stone. I also hope it marks the last day I had a kidney stone.

I woke earlier than usual that day and felt a little groggy and off. I felt like I had been drugged or something, but got up, got a shower and got dressed. Actually, I guess I should preface this with how I felt last week. Starting over a week ago I started having internal chills, headaches and "I just don't feel good" symptoms. I even visited the doctor last Thursday because I couldn't figure out what was wrong. He thought it was a virus and sent me on my way. Apparently my body sensed something was wrong and was trying to let me know.

After getting dressed I sat down to do some reading, which is my habit, but just couldn't get comfortable. My stomach was a bit upset and my back felt stiff. I kept moving around, trying to find a place that eased it up, but couldn't, so I stood up. And that's when all hell broke loose. All of a sudden the reality of what was wrong became evident, as there was a very pronounced pain in my left side where I understood my kidney was housed. I tried walking around the room to see if I could get some relief but the pain just intensified. It didn't take long before I got my wife out of bed and told her I had to go to the hospital. And all the time she was getting ready and I was calling work and my ride the pain increased. There was no relief to be found in any position I could find. And the pain was intense.

She drove me down to Tanner in Villa Rica and I hopped out of the car in front of the emergency room, walked in and tapped on the window where the night nurse was sitting. I was supposed to fill out some paper work but brushed it aside and announced that I had a kidney stone and wanted help NOW!!!! The nurse sorta smiled and said he understood, that he knew what I was going through and not to worry about the paper work. He took me back immediately and they took my vital signs. My blood pressure was up, but we all understood why and they hurried as much as they could. Another nurse took me back to a room while Kathy signed me in. She took some blood, then hooked up an IV. Shortly after that she slipped in 2 drugs, one of which was morphine and oooooo did it feel good. Actually, I didn't like how the drug made me feel because it sorta rushed my head, but the pain was gone and that's all I cared about. Well, it wasn't completely gone, but it went from a screaming 10 to a 1 in about 2 seconds.

They did a CAT scan on me and confirmed that it was a kidney stone. I needed one other shot of morphine before they released me with a prescription for more drugs, but I was already feeling better. I saw another doctor later in the day who explained everything to me and went over the film again.

I'm without pain right now, which is good. I haven't passed it yet, but at least I'm not hurting. Of course, the bad news is, there's another on the right side that could try and escape at any time. That is cause for worry.

I'm In A Hurry And Don't Know Why

2010-01-25T19:14:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know I'm a very impatient person. I despise slow drivers, or at best don't understand them. I try to be patient with older people, but I don't understand why anyone who is under 60 would want to drive slower than I do. Why isn't everyone in a hurry? Aren't we all in a race against time and need to push ourselves constantly because we have to get somewhere faster? Or something like that. I don't know why. I've gone over this any numbers of times in my mind, but I have no idea what the answer is or even if there should be an answer. I just have this internal drive that must get everywhere faster.

Which brings me to Ingles. I really like to shop at Ingles. They have big, clean stores with lots of stuff and lots of unusual stuff. It's my kind of place. But the pumps are an altogether different thing.

Welcome to Ingles, please scan your Ingles Card,,,wait, wait, wait,,,,,

Welcome valued Ingles customer, please choose payment type,,,,Credit outside - wait, wait, wait

Please insert your card in the card reader - Card entered, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,,,

Please choose fuel grade - Cheap - wait, wait, wait, wait, wait

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh - This is insane, especially when it's cold outside. Is this dial-up or do they send carrier pigeons with each response?

I'm a baby boomer who grew up with technology and I've seen it change from a rotary dial telephone to the speed of light used with the internet. I'm used to speed and I hate to wait on anything electronic. Electronic stuff is supposed to be fast, as fast as light, faster than sound and faster than analog.

I just finished filling out a complaint form on the web site. Time will tell if they will actually respond. In the mean time I will be very impatient.

Organizing Again

2010-01-19T10:10:00.002-05:00

It’s amazing how only 2 people can generate so much unused stuff in a house in such a short time. I started doing a bit of organizing of kitchen drawers this weekend, which led to the hall closet and I was just amazed at how quickly we can accumulate junk. Of course, a lot of it has to do with Kathy’s mom visiting yard sales and loading Kathy down every time she visits. I know when she finds these treasures that it makes sense to buy them, since they are dirt cheap and in good shape, but they mostly just fill up space and are thrown away in 6 months.

Let’s see, in the kitchen drawer were 3 to 4 pair of scissors, at least 15 to 20 pens (some no longer working, of course), 2 magnifying glasses, keys that have no known locks to turn (and yet we’re afraid to throw them away), 4 bic lighters, 3 nite-lights, 1 multi-plug, 100 push pins (an estimate), various tools and other miscellaneous things which have no known purpose (like the cover to some remote or toy). So, I put the tools in a box in the closet; put the pens in one tray and the scissors in another; put the other stuff in their appropriately names plastic bins in the hall closet, which led to it being re-organized.

In the closet, I cannot even begin to count the number of drug bottles and tubes that were thrown away because they had expired. I re-organized all the drawers so that the band-aids were stored with their brothers and sisters and not off in the ointment neighborhood (they do not get along). I also discovered lots of motel soap and shampoo that were canned, along with ointments that had a checkered past.

After we were done we had lots of open space left and were both amazed at how nice it looked. Everything is now stored with other relatives and all the plastic containers are nicely labeled. So, if we’re looking for ear plugs we will look in the “eye, ears, nose” box instead of finding them in the “extension cords” box.

I’m posting this because I’m sure we’ll go through the same routine around July of this year and find that the closet has coughed up a whole new batch of useless stuff which we’ll throw away.

Living By The Spirit

2010-01-12T10:19:00.008-05:00

I know I’ve written about Christian matters before, especially as it relates to relationships and now I’m going to post again.

I heard a sermon Sunday that got me thinking again about the relationship between our bodies (“the flesh” as it is referred to in scripture), our spirit (that is made alive again when we enter into a covenant with God) and our soul (the mind, will and emotions that ultimately govern our actions).

When we enter into a covenant with God through Jesus (when we are “saved”), our spirit is made alive by His Spirit. We are reborn in the spiritual sense and are given new power to overcome sin. We are first forgiven of our sin and are also given power over it’s control in our lives. For once we have the ability to say ‘no’! This is a good thing and something that we need to both cherish and rely on.

When we are born, we have a soul and we view this as the seat of our mind (intelligence), our will and our emotions. Our soul is who we are in one sense and the soul will never cease to exist. Our soul is what responds to music, art, words, others, etc. and is the reason we all feel so passionately about our choices of music. Music becomes an expression of our soul, because our soul is what responds to the emotions introduced by music.

Our flesh is something we are stuck with on earth for as long as we live, whether we like it or not. Our soul is tied to our bodies as long as we are living and our body (obviously) is the channel of information for our souls. Our soul is also the traffic cop between our body and spirit. Our will (soul) decides what the flesh will respond to or dwell on and we will either starve our spirit or feed it. We receive input from our senses and our spirit is affected by the information we feed it through our bodies. If we let our eyes, ears or touch feed on evil, it will darken our soul and spirit. If we let them feed on good it will enlighten and nourish our soul and spirit. But the soul is really the traffic cop.

Now, let’s look a moment at the difference between the flesh and the spirit. The bible says that the spirit gives life and the flesh death. We know why the spirit gives life, because it is energized and controlled by God’s spirit (if we are born-again). But why does the flesh bring death? The answer, of course, is because it is selfish and sucks life out of everything around it. The flesh, by its very nature is a life draining force. We eat to satisfy our bodies and something must die in order for us to consume it. And in every other way our flesh never gives life but always drains it, or kills it.

I had a pastor friend who cheated on his wife. It was a selfish act of lust that lasted a very short time, but hurt many, many people for a very long time. I'm sure when he was doing it he thought he could keep it secret and it would hurt no one, but he couldn't keep it secret. In fact, even if he had it would have still affected his relationship with his wife and others. When people seek to satisfy their flesh by living selfishly they will always hurt those around them in some way. Why does God put such a great emphasis on sexual purity? Because when we break that law we are killing our partner. When a person has sex with someone outside of marriage they rob the person they're having sex with of sexual purity and of the other benefits that come with marriage. They are also robbing their partner of the benefits they agreed to when they entered into that covenant, bringing sadness, hurt and emotional rape. Sex was meant to be entered into as part of a greater covenant. That covenant gives benefits to each of those who agree to it such as security, joy, peace and emotional intimacy. To have sex outside of that covenant is to rob someone of those benefits and is selfish. But those truths are also true in other areas of selfishness. Selfishness always, always, always robs someone of something and always must wound or drain life and energy from those around you. That is why it is essential that we live by the Spirit. We must train our souls (our will) to say yes to our spirit and no to our flesh. If we don’t we will only drain life from others and will inevitably leave wounded and hurting people in our wake.

If we are living by the Spirit we will give life to those around us because we will always be more conscience of their needs than our own. ‘Others’ become the driving force in our lives, why we rise in the morning, what we do during the day and why we stay up late in the night. To sacrifice our own wants, energy, freedom, hunger, pain and time becomes the normal way to live life and we, after some time, don’t even consider it a sacrifice. The Spirit is, by its very nature, an unselfish person. We say ‘no’ to a selfish lifestyle because our focus is always on the needs of others and not on ourselves.

So, how do we come to live by the Spirit and not the flesh? It seems as though the flesh is too strong to say ‘no’ to and the Spirit is such a gentleman that He is easy to say ‘no’ to. We do it first of all by agreeing with God that we cannot do it on our own and we can with His help. Once we agree with God we open ourselves up to His power. He responds to faith and agreeing with Him is faith. Next, we, by an act of our will, decide that living by the Spirit is really more advantageous to us than not. We realize and verbalize that being selfish kills others and we prefer others to live; really live. We realize that living by the Spirit will not only bring life to others but to ourselves and we decide, by an act of our will, that we will spend the rest of our lives saying ‘yes’ to the Spirit. We then hang out with and align ourselves with others who agree to this lifestyle so that we can find encouragement and help when we feel weakest.

I know that sounds like a ‘how-to’, because it is. But God does spell things out like that in His word. He gives us clear instruction on how to live in agreement with Him. It’s our job to agree and follow the steps.

Galations 5
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature[a]; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Icey weather in the south

2010-01-11T10:17:00.002-05:00

I got up early Friday morning around 4am to check the roads. We had a prediction of some precipitation the night before and seeing how it was in the 20’s we knew it could spell trouble for Georgia roads. I know the northerners make fun of us because we can’t drive on ice, but we only get to practice like once a year and we haven’t developed those necessary skills. Unlike our ability to endure oppressing heat in the summer and still get a lot done in the yard. I’ll bet you anything we sweat more than our Minnesota friends in one year than they do in a lifetime. Besides, we get a day off for snow and they still have to trudge through the snow and ice, which is nice.

Besides, who can possibly understand why anyone would want to try and endure a winter that lasts 6 months with temps hovering on both sides zero and with snow so deep it can swallow a car? Insanity must be highly regarded in such a place.

Anyway, I stepped out onto our sidewalk and knew we were probably in trouble. It wasn’t a problem with the snow, it was rather a sheet of ice. The road was in the same shape, so I called the office and went back to bed for a while. It’s one thing to drive on snow, which does not present many problems, but driving on ice is nearly impossible in my estimation. I checked with my neighbor and he actually made it to the entrance to the subdivision and saw a truck gingerly backing down the hill, so he turned around and called it quits too. We were able to make it out of our subdivision by Saturday morning but some roads were still impassable, so I had to take some detours.

Our lake is also frozen over with a layer of ice. The edges are pretty firm. In fact, they’re firm enough to bounce a good size tree limb off of. Of course, I’d be stupid to try walking on it as 2 young boys found out this weekend. They died while playing on a lake and breaking through the ice. We’d need a good month of really cold weather to freeze a lake solid enough for foot traffic and we generally don’t get that kind of weather.

Speaking of that, it looks like we might be in for a lot of cold weather in the years to come according to some scientists. I guess Al Gore will lose money if that comes true.

I spent Friday and a good bit of Saturday scanning pictures and editing them. I’m trying to scan all the pictures we have so as to protect them from untold events like excessive water in the basement. We lost a lot of pictures because of that in the past and I want to insure we protect them somehow. I’ll use some type of internet security system to copy them to so I’ll have them on at least 3 disks.

By the way, it’s Monday and there’s still plenty of ice around. A lot of counties are still calling off school. It doesn’t take long for a southerner to get tired of this kind of weather.

Focused again

2010-01-06T08:55:00.002-05:00

Okay, I haven’t really felt like writing much this week. I’m focused on other things and haven’t thought as much about it. I did write the stuff about Ben and enjoyed that over the holidays, but that’s been about it since.

Music is on my mind right now. I’m focused again and I like it. Since I gave up the music ministry I have been floundering in the music side of my life. Without a clear purpose or direction I tend to just piddle around and not really work on my guitar skills. I have been doing some song writing but that feels futile because I don’t have an avenue to share them right now.

So, I make my up the stairs to my office, pick up a guitar, strum or pick it a while, then set it down because I’m bored. I would try some youtube teaching videos out from time to time but just couldn’t stay focused on them.

It’s frustrating and I beat myself up a lot for not being disciplined, but I’ve found that I need a purpose for playing to stay focused. That’s where David has been a help for me.

David is a guitarist friend that I’ve played in a band with. He is a really good guitar player and I like to play with him but we’ve not been in touch much because our band wasn’t doing anything. I called him the other day and he told me about a Mexican restaurant he visited and heard a couple of old guys playing music during his meal. They weren’t very good and he remarked to his wife that he thought the 2 of us could do much better if we tried. I said, “let’s do it”, and we’re going to try.

That brings me to this. I’m now practicing guitar every night trying to get up to speed on a lot of music I’ve neglected over the years. I’ve been practicing “Blackbird” all week to get it down smooth and I’ve been listening to other soft rock songs to try and get them in my head. It’s exciting to have another purpose to work for and it really keeps me motivated.

I hope I can integrate some of my songs into our mix from time to time which would be nice. It’s rather frustrating to write what you think are good songs and never have anyone but your family hear them. We’ll see how that goes. In the mean time, I’m working hard to get ready. I just have to teach my fingers to do what they need to do on the guitar. I think I can handle the vocals okay, but the guitar needs work.

My Friend Ben II

2009-12-31T18:36:00.000-05:00

As I stated earlier, Ben loved the Lord with a passion that I can only talk about because I honestly haven't experienced it like he did. His devotion to God was all consuming, honest and resulted in a life full of compassion and mercy towards others. You could tell as you talked to him that he was genuinely concerned about you, if you were his closest friend or just a waitress at Waffle House. His walk with God became a desire for others to walk with God and enjoy God the way he did.

But, when I first met Ben his relationship with God was similar to Saul's and not Paul's (an obscure reference to a bible character that you can discover in the book of Acts, chapter 9). Ben loved the Lord but he viewed God's world as one where you kept a list of do's and don't's, and the better you avoided the don't's the more the Lord was pleased with you. And Ben kept those self-imposed rules as well as anyone I've ever seen. He was extremely disciplined about his devotion times and his avoidance of anything that hinted of evil. The problem was that he expected everyone to live up to his standards of right and wrong and was disappointed when they didn't. I can remember his telling me one evening that he knew of no one else that loved the Lord as much as he did, a rather arrogant statement to say the least. But, to be honest, I agreed with him. He was so very disciplined that he had me fooled too.

Fortunately, a friend of the family was able to sit down and explain grace to him. And once Ben understood the truth of grace, that God accepts us because of what He's done rather than what we've done, his life was totally transformed.

Being a Hammond means that you're either hot or cold about something and never just lukewarm. The Hammonds have no concept of doing something half-hearted. When they believe in something its like they have blinders on and can't see to the left or right. This was the way that Ben grabbed grace. He embraced God's truth and shared it with all he knew. He enjoyed life like he never had before and was a joy to be with. He still had his faults, as do we all, but they were overshadowed by the joy that now controlled him and his actions. I guess that's why I enjoyed being around him so much. I wanted some of that joy to rub off on me.

Now, the amazing thing about grace is that it frees you up in ways you would never have imagined before. Ben could now enjoyed taking a drink occasionally. He was less judgemental of others and other's actions. He laughed more and was a constant trickster and jokester. In short, he was fun to be with. You knew he still loved his God just as much and was still disciplined in his spiritual walk, but the rules no longer controlled him, it was love. I'm sure it's a hard concept for some of you to understand unless you've experienced grace, but it's the most freeing experience in the world. God loves us. He accepts us on account of what Jesus did, not on account of what we do or not do. He wants us to experience life in it's fullest, which means joy unbridled; hope without fail; and peace to the point where it just can't be explained. He lets us know when we've disobeyed Him, but doesn't ride us like a demented school master. He desires life for us, real life like the kind Adam and Eve experienced before they disobeyed. He wants to walk and talk with us, hand in hand, heart to heart like true lovers. That was the relationship Ben discovered when he turn away from the law and embraced God's grace.

If you'd like to know more about grace please read the book of Galations in the new testament. It explains it well.

Ben was able to walk in grace for a number of years and one thing grace did was help him overcome his feelings of not measuring up. Being the youngest of 6 kids meant Ben was always trying to measure up to his siblings. He never felt like his family accepted his accomplishments, so he was always working harder and trying to prove himself. He was a great musician but he never felt like his family appreciated it and so it left him with a pain in his heart that he never should have carried. Families, unfortunately aren't always the best people to give you positive feedback or for encouraging you in your pursuits. It's not that they don't care or that they aren't amazed at your abilities, it's just that they are trying to measure up too. I know personally that his family was amazed at his talents and abilities, but Ben couldn't see it, not because of his family, but because of his own heart.

When Ben found grace, he found that God accepted him and was proud of him. And Ben was so grateful that he became even more creative. He was freed up to sing for the Lord and not for others and did so with his usual passion and energy. He accepted a position as the worship leader at a church, built a killer band and led others in worship of his God. To say he was loved and appreciated at that church would be a great understatement. A testament to that love was the attendance at his funeral. The place was packed. In his usual manner he had somehow shared his love of God with others and they showed how much they would miss him by seeing him off on his last journey.

My Friend Ben

2009-12-28T14:19:00.001-05:00

Ben Hammond was and still is my best friend. He moved to an address in heaven over 9 years ago, but it seems like it was last year. I just attended one of his son's wedding last night and now I'm all sentimental and lonely.

I have a wonderful family, and a world of friends but it seems as if you only have one really true best friend in life. I had a best friend in school and we are still good friends, but we've drifted apart as we've grown older and we don't see much of each other anymore. I've also got great friends that I've played music with over the years. And some of them I feel like I've grown very close to, but still not to the extent that Ben and I enjoyed.

Ben was an amazing musician who was an accomplished drummer, singer, keyboardist, bassist and guitarist. Talent oozed from his pores as much as sweat on a hot southern night. Everything he put his hand to turned into something beautiful, from his carpentry to his music and paintings. I often envied Ben and told the Lord so on any number of occasions. And when he died I asked the Lord for Ben's talent. I figured he wouldn't need them as much in heaven and I would love to have a tenth of them down here.

Now I'm not one to complain to the Lord about anything. I feel like I've been blessed in this life way beyond what I deserve, but I don't think He answered that prayer in the affirmative. I don't complain anymore about my talent and I'm grateful for what God has given me. I just don't understand why God would call Ben home when he had so much more to offer this world (in my humble and ignorant opinion).

Anyway, Ben and I spent a lot of time together, especially his last year. I would meet him for lunch whenever I could and Kathy and I would go out with Ben and Patrice nearly every Friday night. We also spent time in the studio working on our music, but mostly we just talked. Ben was a talker unlike most men you'd meet. His idea of going out to eat was to order your meal, eat it, then spend the next 3 hours just sitting and talking. We talked about the Lord, about each other, about our kids, our music, our church, the world, politics (rarely) and just about everything else. When you spend that much time talking to someone you can't help but get close to them.

But talking is a Hammond trait, just like being strong headed. I don't mention either to make light of the Hammonds, rather I admire both character traits in them because I've seen how much good can come from both. They are a friendly tribe and I'm not sure they have ever met a stranger. If they did, the strangers only remained so because they didn't understand friendliness. And the strong headedness manifested itself in a determined and consistent love of God. Once they found God's love and forgiveness, they not only held onto it tenaciously, but were fervent in sharing it with others and no obstacle was too great for them to conquer to see others enjoy God's love too.

When Ben was in bible school, with a wife and 2 small kids to take care of, he would come home in the evenings and spend time with his family, then head out on the streets after midnight to share the gospel with anyone he would meet. He had found that most people would open up more after midnight and talk so he made that his time to find the lonely and broken and share the love of God with them.

I could go on for much too long talking about my best friend, but I'm going to take a break. I'll try and continue on later because if you're reading this I want you to know about Ben, who he was and all that he did. He loved God more passionately than anyone I've ever known and maybe if you're reading this you'll get that same desire like I have since I've started remembering.

2009-12-25T10:38:00.000-05:00

And so it's here, Christmas morning at the Mulkeys. Actually, it was just me and Kathy and Angela and we woke up after 7 and opened a gift each. I got new shirts which I really needed and 2 boxed sets of The Office. Such a funny show to me and I'm glad I"ve got another show besides Seinfeld to watch now.

Gonna head over to my mom's for lunch so we're killing a little time now while we're waiting. I"m watching 'Sleepless In Seattle' which is a tear jerker.

Well, I won't drag this out 'cause there's not much to say anyway.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas.

2009-12-20T17:38:00.000-05:00

We were invited to my brother's last night for dinner and had a warm, filling (pun intended) time. It's a long drive out there, plus having to stop and pick up my mom and step-dad makes it even longer. We live west of the city and they live north-east, so we were tired when we got home last night.

I actually think my tiredness was a result of being overstuffed with chicken casserole and apple dumplings (plus a glass of wine). My sister-in-law is a good cook and an amazing decorator. Her house is covered in Christmas themed ornaments and plastic/glass wear. You know, santas, snow men, Christmas trees, etc. Now, when I say it's covered, I mean it's covered. Nearly every nook and cranny in the living room and kitchen has some kind of icon.

The outside of the house is covered in lights also. My brother has assembled an impressive collection of traditional lights (larger than the more popular icicles). He has them draped all across the front of the house, accented with lit candy canes and other various lights lining the yard. His neighbor came over to look and was wearing shades at night to make the point that it was impressive. They really take Christmas decorating serious.

So, we're planning to take my son, his girlfriend and his kids out for dinner this evening when everyone decided to put it off until tomorrow. The kids were tired and cranky and he didn't want to take them out to eat anywhere. We were at the grocery store at the time he called and Kathy asked me what we should do. I agreed in a heart beat to postpone it. It's not that I don't want to see my son and grandkids, because I do, I just like staying at home.

And the older I get the more it's my preferred choice. I still love people and love my family, but I really, really, really, love my house and spending a quiet evening with just my wife. I know, it sounds old, but I can't help it. It's just what I like. I feel comfortable here, and I rest well here, and I don't have to entertain anyone with conversation here. I can just sit and watch TV or I can talk to my wife or I can work on my music or I can just do nothing. But, whatever I decide I like to do it here.

Home sweet home was well pinned, don't you think?

What To Get My Wife For Christmas?

2009-12-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

I hate this every year for 2 reasons mainly. One - is that I can't buy her clothes or jewelry because I 'll buy the wrong thing and she'll either take it back or not wear it. She's not into jewelry much anyway. Two - is that we can't afford to spend much on each other because we have kids and grandkids that we spend for first.

So, you sit down and go through your options: Clothes and jewelry is mostly out; kitchen appliances are out; house appliances are out; musical instruments are out (although I could buy her something I would enjoy, but that's just not right); large electronics are out because of expense, as are most electronics that anyone would want because of expense.

Speaking of electronics, she's not into them anyway. She's got a GPS, MP3 player, cell phone and computer and that's just about it for her interest in micro processors.

So that leaves us what? Bed clothes; pajamas; perfume(although she never wears any); books or music; and that's all I can think of.

I'm taking my daughter with me tonight to see if she'll have any better ideas. I tend to lean more toward the practical, because that's what I would like but I know women don't look at giving the same way.

For instance, I would love a drill, screwdriver set, hammer, shoe horn, nail clippers, pants, socks, underwear, etc. But I don't think she'd get the same thrill out of something like that; "Merry Christmas honey, I got you a floor wax removal kit" just doesn't sound right.

Anyway, we'll see. I really hope Joy can help tonight and I make Kathy's Christmas special and memorable. She's worth it.

A New Christmas Song

2009-12-13T08:28:00.001-05:00

Christmas songs are hard to write to me. I'm not sure if it's because we're all so used to the ones we already have and news ones just seem like 'johnny come lately' or if it's because I feel like all the good ideas are gone. I've got 3 songs for Christmas and one of them is very good (in my humble opinion). I say I have 3 because I'm in the middle of writing a new one.

Actually, it's one of the few songs I've every collaberated on with someone else. My friend from high school, Robert Deavours, has been helping me with this one and he's come up with some great ideas.

I was just playing my guitar last week, trying out a few old and new ideas when the first line just jumped into my head. That's how most of my songs come about and I've learned to trust those first few lines and build on them to create my songs. This line said, "Christmas time is a time for dancing, Christmas time is a time for joy", not that I can dance or anything. So, I worked on it off and on all week and with Robert's help have gotten close to putting it all together. Here's what I have so far,,,,

Christmas Time
Words and Music by Lynn Mulkey & Robert Deavours

Christmas time, is a time for dancing, Christmas time is a time for joy
Everyone join the celebration; everyone lift your voice and sing
He was born to be our savior, he was born to be our king
Christmas time

Christmas time is a time for singing; Christmas time is a time for love
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, rockin’ all around the Christmas tree
Santa’s watching all to see who’s naughty; and all I want is my 2 front teeth
Christmas time

Bridge
Meek & lowly humble yet holy
the savior came to earth
This little stranger born in a manger
we celebrate your birth.....at Christmas time.

Christmas time is a time for shepherds; they have found their peace on earth
Tidings brought by a host of angels, Highest Praise To The Lord On High
Unto men there is born a savior, see His star shining in the sky
Christmas time

Cursing

2009-12-08T17:54:00.000-05:00

I have not been in the habit of cursing since 1972. I was habitual before then, but when the Lord got hold of my heart, he cleaned up my language too. But now, as I've grown older I've discovered a tendency to revert back to swearing and I just don't know why it's decided to creep back up now. It's embarrassing and a good bit disconcerting to me. And I hesitate to even mention it here, but, if you're reading this then you have to be at least something of a friend and know me well enough to know I'm far from perfect anyway.

Oh, it's not a regular part of my vocabulary, but does let itself be known in moments of stress or surprise. Like, if I stub my toe or finger, I'll now have the tendency to say something like s**t, instead of just holding it in and swallowing the pain. I'm sure the words have been hiding deep inside of me all these years and for some reason they've decided to let themselves be known.

Now, this has alarmed me and I've talked to the Lord about it, but He does not seemed to be as concerned as I am (at least, that's how I read His silence on the matter). It has given me pause to think through the whole cursing thing from a more objective stance than I've been willing to do in the past. I've not settled the whole matter in my mind, but I've at least rationalized it to the point where I can live with it now.

Here's my example. This is a case where I wanted to use a curse word very badly to really get across the way I felt about a matter. I didn't use one, because I was at work, but I think it would have been the best way to let this person know how I really felt.

We monitor computers where I work and I support the people who watch the monitors. If they can't figure out a problem they'll ask me to look at it. The alarms are classified as 1's, 2's or 3's, depending on their severity, with a 1 being extremely critical and a 3 being "get to it when you can".

The gentleman on the monitor is highly excitable and prone to panic, which is a terrible personality to have if you deal with problems all day. He received a level 3 alarm indicating a web site was offline. But the web site was not deemed very important to our business and warranted only a level 3. Mike asked me to help him look at it but I was just heading out the door to lunch with some friends and I told him I'd look at it when I got back. This would not do for our highly excitable friend and he insisted I look at it before I left. I explained a number of times that it was a level 3 and could wait, but he just could not be convinced.

It then occurred to me that the only way to get my point across was to somehow use some kind of stronger language and convince him that the problem could be addressed later, like, "Mike, IT'S A ******* LEVEl 3 ALERT!!!!!!" You can substitute any curse word you want to for those asterisks, but I'll have to admit that the word I wanted to say was one of the worse ones available in our culture.

Now, like I said, I didn't say it, but I really, really, really wanted to and I think in that particular case it would have been approved by all within hearing distance to be completely appropriate. And I realized later that that was why curse words were invented in the 1st place. They are there to bring certain and irrevocable emphasis to speech. In other words, in some circumstances there is no other way to adequately express yourself. The problem with our culture is that they're so overused that they've lost their effectiveness and are now adopted by the refuse of society as 'normal speech'.

I don't like using curse words and reprimand myself every time I do. Even when I'm alone and it's only me and God I have a hard time saying certain words. I don't want to get used to saying them, but I'm not so hard on myself anymore if I do. I just sorta kick myself in the ass and say "don't say that stupid!!". Wait a minute, did I just say 'ass'?

Visiting churches

2009-12-07T10:43:00.001-05:00

Well, actually, we didn't go to church yesterday. Kathy wasn't feeling up to her usual self and I didn't mind much because I was feeling a bit tired too for some reason. Some days you just don't feel like putting it in high. You'd rather just coast along down hill. No reason really except I just couldn't get a full head of steam.

We spent some time in the morning with the grandkids at my son's house then we went to Mellow Mushroom for lunch. She had only eaten there once and I am fond of their Mighty Meaty pizza. I was able to talk her into it and, as always, it was delicious, filling and gave me unbearable heartburn. It's a small price to pay for a good, fattening pizza.

I love anything Italian and everything Italian gives me heartburn. But, it's something I've resigned myself to and am commited to using appropriate medication just so I can enjoy the taste.

What I was really wanting to share before I got off on those rabbit trails was our visit to West Hill church. We visited a week ago and was really struck by how friendly everyone was. We returned last night to attend their Christmas part. It was an 80's themed party catered by Waffle House. I didn't know Waffle House catered but they do and, of course, it was good. We had waffles, eggs, grits and bacon or sausage. We also had karoke (fun and entertaing because few of them could sing).

Again, this church is very friendly. We had a number of people to stop by and introduce themselves and actually stick around to get to know us better. Kathy was even invited to a wowen's retreat by a very nice lady who at first thought we were regular attendees.

Now, I've visited many churches over the years and I was genuinely suprised by this church's warm, inviting acceptance of others. I wonder how they do it? How do they instill that sort of friendliness and acceptance of strangers? I have no idea really. I don't think preachers can preach it into people but I'll bet the leaders have a great deal of influence by example.

The church we recently left had that reputation for a number of years. I'm not sure if they still do or not. I hope so, but I just haven't had the opportunity to find out lately. I think the reason we had the reputation in the beginning was because our first pastor was very friendly. That sort of thing is contagious. I think friendliness makes other people feel safer to be friendly. It's like somone's courage rubs off on you. Who knows? I'm no expert, I'm just guessing.

So, for those of you who wish your church was more friendly I'd recommend a visit to this church and perhaps a study of it to see how it ticks. I'll definetly visit again just because I already feel like I'm a part of it.

Happy Feet

2009-12-04T20:54:00.001-05:00

Watching Happy Feet with a few of the grandkids. The art work and animation is simply unbelievable. You have to tell yourself that's it's just a cartoon from time to time because the facial features and eye movement is just incredible.

Of course, the bad guys are the religious. I know believers deserve a lot of the ridicule and we have behaved as a closed minded and obstinate group of people at times. But, the moral of the story is that the believers are terribly wrong and closed minded and everything can be explained very simply. The believers are the ones who want everything to stay as it always was and are hiding the real truth from us all. They are afraid of change and are afraid to upset the gods. Again, a lot of this is deserved, but it is a common theme in today's entertainment world.

Why can't a believer ever be portrayed as a level headed, open minded, loving, tolerant, gracious person who is not threatened by logic or change and who loves those who are different than them? Are we all afraid of contrary arguments or of different views of God and His person? God is not afraid or offended and we should not be. We should meet every argument and false hood head on with grace and wisdom and not act as if every non-believer is the devil who deserves to be shunned and cast into hell.

The other bad guys, of course, are the fishermen (humans who are raping the planet to feed their fat bellies). The point is that the planet cannot support both humans and nature at the same time. We (the humans) are evil and the earth is good and happy and will thrive if we just leave them alone.

I grow so weary hearing about 'global warming' and recycling (as good as that is) and the environment. It is a religion and we are being indoctrinated with it at every turn. I know we need to treat the earth as a gift that God told us to populate and cultivate as a garden, but to believe in global warming would be to toss out centuries of changing weather patterns that have shifted unrelentingly since God placed the blue ball in space. I'll not try and make a point here, because you'd grow weary of reading and I would grow weary of writing, but I think you get my point.

Other than all of that, the movie was amazing and fun. I'm just a bit disappointed in the object lessons.

Buying my Christmas present

2009-12-02T10:17:00.000-05:00

I'm buying myself a new radio/cd player for the car. But, it's really more than that. I want one the I can hook my IPOD directly into so I can listen to it without buying accessories. When I first got the IPOD I got a cassette tape adapter and that worked well, but then the radio started spitting the cassette out. I've tried 2 different FM tuners and there's just too much static on them to enjoy the music. So, I decided just to get a new radio.

Now, the question is, exactly what do I want in this thing? If I'm buying one I have to take into account all that I want out of it. I know I want AM/FM reception, that's a given. But, I also want a CD player, input for the IPOD and a USB port. That way, if any one thing fails I'll have 2 backups for entertainment. I can hook the IPOD up to the aux in or through the USB port (just in case).

So, I'm looking on Walmart's site last night and was overwhelmed with the choices available for around $100.00. I'm not much of a research type guy but I spent probably and hour and 1/2 on the site narrowing my search down (I'm more of a 'ooo, red! I like red' type guy). I also called my friend George (dial a friend) and got his input 'cause he knows a lot about this stuff than I do.

I'm pretty sure I've settled on a JVC for $128.00 on the Walmart site. So now I can start looking at other reputable sites (as in - they'll take it back without a hassle if there's a problem).

I hate this sort of thing usually, but it's really a good discipline to be forced into research because you've a limited amount of money.

Cleaning at Mom's

2009-11-30T17:28:00.000-05:00

I was off today so I accompanied my wife to my mom's. She cleans the house once a week and Monday is her usual day so off we go.

Instead of doing much help with the cleaning I was assigned the task to bring up all the Christmas decorations. This means totting numerous boxes from the cramped basement to the den. Not too much of a problem really except some of the boxes are rather heavy. It was also raining at the time, but no biggy. I was able to get them all up and stayed relatively dry.

So, after that I asked Kathy if she needed any help cleaning and she suggested I vacuum for her. Now, we have been spoiled because we own an Oreck, which is the best engineered vacuum in the world (in my humble experience). Mom recently bought the worst engineered vacuum in the world (in my humble but accurate opinion). 1st, the chord is short, which is stupid; 2nd, the chord attaches at the base of the vacuum, which means you're always stepping on it and stopping all forward progress; 3rd, it doesn't vacuum stuff off the floor (hmmm, isn't that like, the point?); and 4th, you have to clean up a filter everytime you use it! Now, I may be prejudiced, but I'm not stupid. The engineer for the Hoover was stupid, however.

Anyway, I tied the chord to the top of the handle and vacuumed each section of floor twice so as to get most of the stuff up. Then Kathy and I went and bought another Oreck at Target because her's was getting old and needed replacing. But, we've had the thing for over 8 years and ran a cleaning business for like 4 of those years. Needless to say we've gotten our money's worth and did not hesitate buying another one.

My only question is, why would Hoover put anything like that vacuum on the market? All it can ever do is give them a bad name. I know I'll never buy one.

We also bought another DVD player for the kids to use upstairs. If you haven't bought one in a while they're really cheap now.

Okay, that's all my shopping updates for the day. Have a good one.

Just another day in paradise

2009-11-29T17:49:00.000-05:00

Kathy and I visited WestHills church in Villa Rica this morning. They had an unusual service that they do once a year and our hosts wondered if we would we enjoy it. They had no preaching (which we would have loved to hear), instead they had different booths set up around the building. We moved from booth to booth at our own pace and the over-all theme was prayer. We prayed for ourselves, missionaries, leaders and our families. I think I can also speak for Kathy and say that we really enjoyed it.

Most of the people we met were probably under 40, although we met a few people in our age range. That didn't matter at all. In fact, it was one of the friendliest churches I've ever visited. We were met outside by a group of young men who made us feel very welcome. It might have helped that I knew the worship leader and he introduced us to a few people, but I don't think it would have mattered that much. We were confronted by a lot more overly friendly people once inside. I'm not sure if someone put a tag on our backs that said 'visitor - please greet me' or not.

The music was understated this morning since the service was focused on prayer. They only did 2 slower songs but the band sounded tight and the lead guitarist had a nice touch. The worship leader played an acoustic guitar that I was not familiar with but it sounded very nice. Had a good bright sound but wasn't missing the mids.

I'm glad the band didn't play much. Everytime I go to a church I'm picking through the music, trying to decide what I like and what I don't. It's rather annoying and often times prevents me from enjoying the service. This short music presentation was short enough to enjoy and slow enough not to distract me from the words or music.

In short, we enjoyed the visit and enjoyed the service. Westhills is a very friendly Baptist church who is breaking all the 'Baptist' rules. I'm sure we'll visit again soon.

Long lazy weekend

2009-11-28T08:11:00.000-05:00

I took a day of vacation on Wednesday and won't go back to work until Tuesday. It's been rather confusing really. I kept thinking yesterday was Saturday. Our minds get so used to certain patterns that it's hard to enjoy the moment. It's like when you're driving and you find yourself on the way to work when all you wanted to do was go to Ingles. It happens to me all the time. I guess it's worse as you grown older because your life gets more and more in a pattern.

I don't really have a problem with it though. I sorta like the common place now. I tend to like getting up at the same time, doing the same stuff and going to bed early. I'm sure it's a certain sign that I'm getting older. Wait! I'm my grandfather! aaarrgggghhh!

Well, I don't think there's much I can do about it. Some parts of growing older are inevitable, like getting up 3 times during the night to pee.

Well, I'm heading out to Joey's to help him and Jennie move. And I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've been exercising but not too well lately and I know I'm going to get tired quickly. I did some running on the treadmill yesterday morning and I'm still a little sore from that. Yes, you're right, I'm lazy. I always seem to get that way during the winter. I hate it and will try to work around it, but I'm not optimistic.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for God and His Love

2009-11-25T22:21:00.000-05:00

Thank you God for you unfailing love that has rescued me from myself.

A Month of Thankfulness - Thankful for Age

2009-11-24T21:35:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right! I'm actually thankful for growing older. Believe it or not (especially those who know me best)I think I have actually grown wiser as I've grown older. How do you measure wisdom? Well, I'm sure there's many ways but I look at it this way. I think you're wise if you can say 'no' to something you really want if you realize it is not the best thing to do or if it could hurt another. Like, if you have the opportunity to drink a bottle of wine because no one would know and you don't because it would give you a headache. Or, you realize that while you're drunk someone in your family might really need you. That's one aspect of wisdom.

It also means you do stuff you would rather not because it is best for you or for someone you love. Like slowing your car down so you'll make it home in one piece even though you wish that clown in front of you would get out of the way!

In other words, you're gaining wisdom when others are more important than you are. You can sacrifice yourself for the good of others.

I'm thankful that God has been very patient with me and give me a measure of wisdom that I never knew.

And to me you just can't grow in wisdom in 20 years. It takes time. It takes 30 to 40 years of hard stuff to get to where you get a measure of wisdom.

And growing old means grandkids and grandkids are wonderful!!!!

Thank You God for keeping me around a while. I hope You give me a little longer.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for Church

2009-11-24T06:29:00.000-05:00

Church is more than a social event or gathering. Church is a place where you can give of yourself to something that is larger than yourself. It is a place where you can feel like you're making a difference in someone's life. It offers the opportunity for someone to focus intently on God, His plan for your life and His involvement in the lives of others.

I love church and I love the friendships I've made over the years as I've worked along side others in the church environment. The people I've come to love the most are the ones who are sacrificial and unselfish with their time and talents. They are not only givers, but love to give.

I've learned so much from people over the years in church. I not only learned more about God but I've learned a lot of practical stuff too. Through various relationships I've learned more about carpentry, music, mechanics, writing, and the world. I've visited places in the world that most people would not think of going on vacation to. Places like Romania and the small towns I visited there, working with their local churchs. They are just like us, only poorer. Places like the mountains of Jamaica where I was able to live with a family for a week while we labored on their new church building. These memories of my 'vacations' are more cherished and vivid than the beaches and mountains I've visited. You won't get those kind of opportunities outside of 'church'.

Kathy and I have decided just this week that it's time for us to find another church to get involved in. We are sad in one sense because we know we'll lose touch with some wonderful people we've gotten to know. We also thought that this would be the church we'd be in for the remainder of our lives. But, we just don't feel a part of it anymore. We're expecting more than the church is able to provide. We've hoped for what we felt like the church was capable of and have never seen it try and reach that potential over the years. It's a struggle that we're just tired of. We realize now that there are few in the church who even realize what the original vision was so no one is interested in reaching it.

So, we're moving on. Hopefully we'll be able to find a church that is striving for that vision and will follow it faithfully.

But, even if we don't, we're thankful for all the churchs we've known over the years and all the people who make up those churches.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for Water

2009-11-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

The most unique natural resource in the earth. Without it we could not live, in fact we are composed of a great deal of water. All other substances shrink when they freeze. If water did it would sink to the bottom of lakes, streams and the ocean. Ice would then accumulate until all the rivers and lakes would freeze solid. God designed water to float on top and allow the fish to live underneath.

Water also stores heat very well which helps maintain a stable environment.

It would seem that earth is the only planet in the solar system that has liquid water. That makes us unique. We are in God's eye. In fact, He made all of this for us.

Thank You God for water. You who are the Living Water.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for Being Born When I Was

2009-11-21T08:13:00.000-05:00

Of course, I'm also thankful for being born in the US. That almost goes without saying. If you're born in the greatest country in the world and you enjoy more freedom than anyone in the world, you have to be thankful for that.

But I'm very thankful to be a part of this generation in the US. We enjoyed, without a doubt, one of the greatest times so far. We saw innumeral inventions that added enjoyment to our lives and made living so much easier. Some of those inventions might have taken away certain aspects of life, such as the TV taking away family time, but their effect on us is determined by us.

I mean, think about it, we can travel almost anywhere in the world in 12 hours. We can talk to anyone in the world without any difficulty at at. We can actually talk to someone in Australia and see their image on our computer at the same time. We take lights, heat and air conditioner for granted, as if it's our birthright. And water! We eat anytime we want and just about anything we want. We work 40 hours a week and earn enough to buy just about anything we want.

My generation also grew up during a time of peace. As young kids our parents could let us roam the neighborhood and extend neighborhoods without worry. It was a time of peace and prosperity and we enjoyed it all.

I would have loved to have seen Jesus personally, but that's the only other time I would have liked to be alive that I know of. And, even then would have been a tough time to live.

Thank You God for picking this time and place for me to live.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for My Ears

2009-11-19T22:40:00.000-05:00

Of course I love music, couldn't you tell. And without the wonder of my ears I would not be able to enjoy it or create it. Not much else I can say about it except I'm so thankful for the gift of sound.

A Monthy of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Guitars

2009-11-19T04:57:00.000-05:00

I really like playing guitars. I have been blessed to have had some nice guitars and am thankful for what I have now. I started out with an old, classic Ovation. It sounded really nice, but had poor pickups. I 'sold' to it a young girl who was learning guitar. I didn't get anywhere near what it was worth but it went to a good cause. I sold her brother another nice guitar. It was a Martin and had a nice sound also. Anthony was leading worship and needed a better guitar so I sold it to him for a good bargain price too.

Since then I've owned a Taylor which was a nice guitar but not my favorite. Again, I sold it to a young man who was a worship leader. He got a good price too.

Now I have a Larivee (nice sound, good pickups), a Tacoma (my favorite acoustic), a American Made Deluxe Strat and a Epiphone Les Paul (cheap but solid). I have enough to have a backup guitar on stage or an extra for alternate tunings.

I have learned to get over the temptation that makes me want a better and better guitar and I'm content with what I have. They are all solid and sound good. What more to you want? I just wish I could play them up to their potential.

Thank You God for my mistresses (guitars).

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Brain

2009-11-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know, it's a small one and my memory seems to not find it's way around at times, but I'm thankful for what I've got.

I honestly find it difficult to understand how anyone can believe that something as complex, fast could have evolved. The brain is such as picture of creation! It's workings and architecture is unknowable and it simply cries out, "I am a wonder of creation"! To me, there is no other rational explanation. I guess my brain knows it's origins and demands that I acknowledge it.

We all know someone whose brain has gotten crossed up and are living in a 'different' world and I'm just so very grateful that mine is working as well as it does.

Thank you God for my brain.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Talents

2009-11-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

We all need to acknowledge that our talents and skills are a gift from God. Refining and honing those skills are our job, but the initial dose is His to distribute as He sees fit. How He sorts them out is a mystery to us all and I'm sure most of us have questioned His fairness from time to time.

I know I have. I have had the privilege of playing with many very talented musicians over the years and have often questioned God as to why they were better than I was. Some of my buds just had this inborn ability to play with such skill that I just grew jealous over time. I tried not to question God and His seemingly lack of fairness but I did.

Of course, I am musically talented. I am the only member of my family that even plays an instrument and I'm not sure if any of them could ever sing very well. If they could, they didn't. I've also been told by other people that I'm very talented and I know that's true. It's true because compared to them I am very talented. It's all relative.

So, I am thankful that God has given me the talent He has. I can sing, play guitar, write and dance (ok, I can't dance). Thank You God for my talent.

A Monthy of Thankfullness - Thankful for my Freedom

2009-11-16T07:52:00.000-05:00

If you're an American you have to be thankful for freedom. It's something I hope I never take for granted. I can drive from here to Ohio (not that I would) and no one stops me at each state border for my papers. I can work at any profession I want, I can go or not go to church, I can eat what I want, drive what I want (until Al Gore finds a way to ban cars), and carry out any decision I make without worry.

It's a wonderful thing if you sit and think about it for a moment. I think it's what God had planned all along - do what you feel led to do unless it hurts another in any way. I wish the world was different and every country operated in this manner. We would all be more prosperous and happy (no doubt).

I'm not going to go on and on about this, mostly because I have a headache. You get the picture though. I'm thankful for freedom God. I believe it was your idea and and thankful You shared it with us.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for Fingers

2009-11-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right, fingers! I have been playing guitar tonight and realize how valuable my fingers are to me and my expression on the guitar. I love to play and just couldn't do it without the ten digits God has given me.

So taken for granted, yet so important to my world. I can type, play guitar, insert CD's, use a remote, hold cup of water, turn on a light, pick the eggshells out of the eggs when I'm cooking breakfast and a million other things with these wonderful tools that were conceived and created by the mind of God.

Thank You God for my fingers.

This was brought to you by 9 of the 10 digits that I possess. The left hand thumb just gives me balance when I'm typing.

A Month Of Thankfulness – Thankful for Music

2009-11-12T20:10:00.002-05:00

Not much to say about this because saying anything about music comes up short if it's not put into a song. Music has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I remember being told when I was rather young by our music minister at church that I couldn't sing. I sorta dedicated myself to proving her wrong and can remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror doing voice exercises so I could learn.

I took music in the 6th grade and was introduced to a trumpet and I fell in love with that. I played it through high school but gave it up afterwards because I had no one to play with.

I didn't think much of my singing abilities after that but was encouraged by another music minister who actually asked me to sing at his wedding. I was surprised but did sing for them.

Later, in my 30's I started playing guitar seriously to play in a home church group. I had played around with it a bit when I was in my teens but didn't work at it much. Now I had a reason to work at it and took it seriously. I practiced for hours every night and even took some lessons occasionally to learn different techniques. I didn't want to take the time to learn songs lick for lick because I was trying to spend time with my wife and kids at that time so I would learn a little, then make it my own by writing a song using the lick I has stolen. In this way I was able to learn a few new licks and write some of my own music.

As I shared my songs with people I started receiving positive feedback so I kept writing. I now have a very large catalog and one CD. I play my songs at church occasionally and find a great deal of personal satisfaction in sharing them with others.

So, you see that music has always been a big part of my life and I love it dearly. I can express myself much better through a song than any other way.

Thank You God for Music.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for God's Provision

2009-11-12T05:13:00.000-05:00

I have a good job. I work for a very good company and work with some of the finest people in Atlanta. I am paid well for what I do and have never complained about how much I make. I've just always been thankful that life has worked out so that I do what I do and make a decent living at it.

I've been to other countries like Jamaica and Romania where unemployment is high and moral is low. I've seen people stuck in jobs that give them no challenge or hope for anything better. I've seen people who make enough money to just survive on and nothing more. I am thankful to be living here in the United States where the possibilities are almost endless and where the living standards are some of the highest in the world. You can't help but be thankful after you've seen how the rest of the world lives.

That's one of the reasons I have a bit of a problem with the glamorization of the 'homeless' here in the U.S. There are genuine problems for a lot of people here, but our idea of homelessness and the rest of the world's is completely different. I'm afraid most of our 'homeless' are there because they just don't want to work. Well, that's my humble opinion and it's only an opinion.

One of the main reasons I'm thankful for my job and how God has blessed me is because I was headed in the direction of homelessness when I was rescued. I had come to rely on drugs pretty heavily and didn't want to work much. I would have been content to take handouts soon, I'm sure. But God rescued me, shook me off and put me to work.

I've also been able to work 2 or 3 extra jobs during the time I've been married to help provide for my family. Now Kathy has a business that helps us out and I don't have to work as many jobs. That makes me even more thankful.

So, thank you God for providing for me and my family. Thank you for the energy and will to work and thank for the good compensation available here in the states.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for Grandkids

2009-11-10T19:40:00.000-05:00

Oooo, this is an easy one. Grandkids, especially at the age ours are at, are so much fun. You marvel at their wittiness, talent and intelligence, and you find humor in their every action. They can be as sweet as honey and as aggravating as a boil from one minute to the next. The girls talk almost non-stop and the boys are always into some mischief or competition. When all five of them are over you really hope for good weather so they can spend as much time outside as possible. That way they can run and slide and chase each other without it sounding and feeling like your in the mosh pit of a punk rock concert.

I love to see them and love to have them help me plant flowers or do some other work in the yard. Most of them want to help you with whatever you’re doing, especially if it involves a shovel, hoe or rake. Of course, they love it if we’re using a hose because then they have a chance to spray each other. You have to have some patience, of course, and you have to make up your mind that all your plants are expendable, but the kids are not. They are going to destroy or harm something in the course of play or work, so if you already have that loss planned it won’t bother you as much.

I’ve always tried to keep this straight in my mind, that people are always more valuable and important than things. I don’t mind losing something or having it harmed as much as I do a child or an adult. So, if one of the kids breaks something or one of my friends need to borrow something and it’s broken in their care, it doesn’t matter. They are always more important than any thing. This way of looking at life really helps when you have grandkids that have absolutely no concept of the value of guitars, cars, computers or plants. I can take the loss of a thing, but never want to lose one of them.

So, I am very thankful for the privilege of raising my kids and I am very thankful that they have had children that I can love, cherish and teach. Thank You God for my grandkids, those who I know now and for those whom I will know in the future.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my son-in-law Tony

2009-11-09T18:44:00.003-05:00

All 'my boys' are hard workers and are leaders in their work areas. They have all been raised to value hard work and are all smart and dedicated to their families and Tony is no exception. Tony is an electrician. It can be very hard work at times and can also be very dangerous. You need to know what you're doing and you have to do it right or it could cost you your life.

Tony is a union electrician and as such is very well educated in his field. He spent a great deal of time in a classroom environment before he ever touched a wire and it was a very tough school. But, Tony is a smart guy and he did well. In fact, he finished at the top of his class.

Tony grew up in a broken home and because of that has dedicated himself to be a good husband and father and he's done a good job at both. He works very hard everyday but doesn't mind helping out around the house when he gets home. He loves his kids and spends time playing with them and training them to do what's right. I'm very proud of the way he has loved my daughter and his kids.

Tony and I get along great, like I do with Paul, but we almost act like siblings. We can kid around and poke fun at each other because we are a lot alike.

I could not have asked for a better son-in-law and am proud of Tony and how well he's handled himself as an adult, husband and father. I thank God that He sent Tony to our family.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my son-in-law Paul

2009-11-09T05:17:00.000-05:00

Paul is married to my oldest daughter Dawn. They met in college and seemed to fall in love overnight after knowing each others for a couple of years. Paul has fit into our family as if he were one of our own, which is what every parent wants for the people who marry their kids.

He is a smart young man who majored in business and seems to have a head for it. He works for a bank in Columbus Georgia and is doing well in that business.

Paul is a lot of fun and mixes well with whoever he meets. He comes from a good traditional southern family and has obviously been raised on good Christian values.

But the main thing you want for your daughters is someone who will love them tenderly and treat them like a princess. Paul has loved Dawn since he met her and has treated her like she deserves to be treated. She is a special person and he treats her like a treasure. We are proud to have Paul as a member of our family and are thankful that God has sent him our way.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Daughter Joy

2009-11-08T09:03:00.000-05:00

Of all my kids, Joy is the most appropriately named. She is a joy to be around and just naturally brings joy to those around her. Being the last was a challenge I'm afraid. By the time she was born we had 3 other little rambunctious toddlers running around and she ended up competing to get attention. Of course, she fit right in and kept up as best she could. We did spoil her a bit though.

With three others vying for attention we tended to just give her what she wanted. It's like Bill Cosby once told one of his kids who were complaining that their younger brother had their stuff, "just give her what she wants, she's got my stuff too"! She'll admit she was spoiled too, but she overcame it well.

Joy was undoubtedly designed to be a mother. She has 3 kids now and is doing a great job taking care of them and keeping them in line. They all know she loves them and they all know she's the boss (after their dad). When she gives an order there is no doubt she will follow up if it's not carried out, but she also shows them grace when it's needed. I marvel at her motherly skills.

Joy is also a loving and loyal wife. She and her husband have a solid, fun and good relationship together. They laugh at and with each other without apology or inhibition and they can correct each other safely without the other getting their feelings hurt.

Now, if you know Joy you know she loves animals. Although I had large dogs around when they were growing up I can do without animals in my life now without a problem. But, Joy does not know that there are limits on how many animals a suburban family can handle. She's not a crazy cat lady, but she does push her husband's patience at times when she talks about getting another dog. At the latest count she had 2 chihuahuas and a boxer and was asking around for another large dog for their boxer to play with.

Joy was not planned, but then again I don't remember planning any of our kids. But, the best things in life are suprises anyway. Joy was a great suprise and continues to be a joy in our family. Thank you God for Joy.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Daughter Angela

2009-11-07T06:34:00.002-05:00

Today I’m thankful for my daughter Angela, my third born. Is it a characteristic of 3rd born children to be agreeable and cooperative? I’m not sure, but those are 2 of Angela’s personality slants. We have never had much trouble at all out of Angela. She is just one of those types of people that wants to please.

Now, wanting to please can be both good and bad. Good, if she’s doing what she knows is right, but bad if she ends up pleasing someone who is taking her down the wrong road. Fortunately Angela has always had an obedient heart for God, so she was strong enough to say no to those kinds of people. She has always had a very tender heart, but also a strong one, which is a great combination if you can get it.

Angela has the natural athletic abilities of her brother too. She really excelled on the soccer field and it was more of a case of giftedness than work. She could just do it and do it well. She was also very teachable which helped. She was also good at basketball, but only because of her lightning fast reflexes in the defensive field of play. She may have made 3 baskets her entire career, but the number of steals she accumulated would be hard to match.

As I said earlier, Angela has always had a heart for God. She loves Him intensely and obeys His voice. She also has a heart for others and puts that love into action in every way she can find. She is involved in many ministries here locally and has even gone overseas a number of times to work with the extremely needy in the world.

A heart for God; a heart for others; a hearty laugh and fun loving personality; an obedient spirit and beauty to top it all off; Angela is someone I’ll always be thankful for.

Thank you God for giving us such a precious gift.

A Month Of Thankfulness - Thankful for my Daughter Dawn

2009-11-05T18:39:00.001-05:00

Dawn is the 2nd born in our family, but the 1st daughter. As such, she has always assumed the 1st born characteristics of leadership, being driven, wanting everything to be under control. When the kids were young Dawn was the one calling the shots and organizing games. Nathan was laid back enough to let her assume leadership and didn't seem to mind.

It was fun to watch them all interact, especially Dawn and Nathan. Nathan never saw an obstacle he didn't think he could overcome and Dawn always had some kind of idea for them do. I'll never forget watching him try and help her climb a fence. She had a rope around her waist and it was draped over a tree above her. He had the other end wrapped around his butt and was backing up, pulling her up the fence toward the tree. She was in charge though, telling him how fast to go and when to stop and start. It was a great glimpse into their relationship. He could do anything with the right tools and she told him what they were going to be doing.

Dawn is a very smart girl. She has a great ability to memorize facts and has always done exceptionally well in school. She decided in grammar school that she would only make A's and that's what she did all the way through he schooling career, with very few exceptions.

She is one of the most driven people I've ever met, but she balances that with great humor and a love for people. Give her a goal to reach and she'll work herself in the ground to meet it. Give her someone in need and she'll drop whatever she's doing and see that they're helped.

She gave her heart to the Lord as a young girl and has never looked back to question that decision. She has remained faithful to His calling and has maintained her integrity since that time.

She is so much fun; so full of love and laughter; so smart and beautiful and I'm thankful she's my daughter. Although, I'll have to give Kathy most of the credit for Dawn's intelligence and beauty, I'll at least take credit for her laughter.

A Month of Thankfulness - Thankful for my son

2009-11-05T04:51:00.000-05:00

Today I’m thankful for my son Nathan. A guy is always hopeful for a son, and especially a son who becomes a real man; independent, resourceful, a leader, and tender toward his wife. Nathan is all of those things and I’m very proud of him.

He was always very athletic (unlike his dad) and tough. He always excelled in any sport or activity he tried and I was always amazed and proud as I watched him. He had some health issues as a youth and had to take some time off from organized sports but that didn’t slow him down much. Instead, he concentrated on personally challenging style sports like rock climbing. He trained well and did well at that too.

He did spend some time as a musician. He played in a high school band with some buddies and they really were pretty good. He can’t find his bass anymore but has expressed and interest in doing it again. His generation just kills me. They don’t see anything as a challenge like we do. They just do it.

Nathan is a leader in the business world and is very good at what he does and has been rewarded well by his employers. He is a talented carpenter and remodeler too. In fact, I don’t think there’s anything he can’t do if he puts his mind to it.

He has struggled with addiction but seems to be getting that behind him now. I certainly hope he does and finds some peace with that. He’s also spent some time married to the wrong woman but that is thankfully nearing an end. I just wish his children lived closer to him so we could all see them more often.

Nathan is a good man. He is all I have ever hoped for in a son and I’m thankful that God entrusted him to Kathy and I as his parents.

Thankful for my wife

2009-11-03T17:23:00.002-05:00

Today I’m thankful for my wife. We’ve been together 31 years, and yes there have been times where we’ve both wondered if we had done the right thing. I say that for the benefit of the younger readers of this site. Everyone will have doubts and questions about their marriage, because we all have faults and weaknesses. But, hanging in there and working through those times make the other 99% all the more precious.

We are so unlike each other in many ways; she likes soft music and I like rock; she likes emotional TV and I like action; she worries about the kids and grandkids and I am content to let them get through their own troubles and pains; she likes coleslaw and I don’t. But we have been best friends since we started dating. I was attracted to her because she was easy to talk to and I felt very comfortable around her.

She is much smarter than me (except when it comes to computers, which she hates). She handles so many details with the budget and her business and is something of an expert in my mind in the real estate business. She is compassionate and caring and is not a shy person at all. She loves people and loves talking and she’s not shy about telling someone they need The Lord.

She loves her children and grandkids and will stay connected in their lives whether they want her to or not. But, they don’t ever seem to mind. They know she loves them more than life itself and know she would not hesitate to give her life for one of theirs if it ever came to that.

I have found life with Kathy to be easy, comfortable, pleasant, entertaining, challenging, good and satisfying. I have tried to cherish our relationship and protect it. I have loved her from the first kiss and hope we can enjoy many more. She is a blessing.

What I'm thankful for today

2009-11-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for redemption. I'm thankful that I have been bought back from the devil and the hold he had on my life. As it is with most people I was very selfish and hurt many people because of that outlook on life. That led me to a dependancy on drugs and other hurtful vices and I helped other people in my life to 'enjoy' the effects of them. What you don't think of when you're involved in that lifestyle is the damage you're doing to others when you introduce them to sin and I did a lot of damage back then.

When God redeemed me He broke the chains that held me and set me free from myself and my selfishness. I changed my focus from me and refocused on the needs of others. That led me to a good relationship with my wife and helped me raise my children. It empowered me to work hard to supply for my family, working 2 or 3 jobs most of the time we have been married, and not thinking of it as a sacrifice.

An outward focus helped me work in church for very little pay over the years and not thinking I was being short-changed. I looked at it as a privilege and not as a chore. Work became a joy and not a burden.

I have been able to forgive those who have hurt me rather than seek vengeance or retribution. I have learned to love and have been given the great gift of patience.

I am thankful that God bought my life back from the one who can only kill, steal and destroy. I am thankful he is my Dad.

Halloween has come and gone and the demons lost foothold again!

2009-11-02T10:06:00.000-05:00

Although, I'm not completely sure about that. My point is, everyone in the neighborhood had fun and none of the kids in our neighborhood seemed to become demon possessed during the holiday. I think we might have turned the corner and it's now just a time for kids to have fun. I don't think the devil giggles every year knowing he has a night all to himself to enslave the unaware. He already has the world in his grasp anyway.

My son-in-law packed his kids up in his truck, invited a few around him to come over too and took them all on a hayride in my trailer. He wanted to do my neighborhood because it's a bit more compact than his and requires less walking. The kids were all dressed up in their spookiest and cutest costumes and had a great time extorting candy from our neighbors.

I didn't dress up (although I'm going to next year), but I did decorate our porch and run a smoke machine. A lot of the parents were impressed and some of the younger ones were a bit scared of it, but it was a nice effect. I'm going to add a bit more to the whole scene next year. Seems like every year I walk away from each holiday with better ideas for the next year. I guess that's normal, but I wish I would get into the season a bit more before it actually arrived. I always seem so unprepared. I keep putting off any effort until their right on top of me and them I'm scramblin' to get everything done. Then I miss stuff. Oh well, it's not like I'm trying to win a contest or anything, just want to make it fun for the kids.

Speaking of that, I think they had as much fun running the smoke machine as anything. I let our kids push the button before they went off hunting for tricks and they fought over doing it. The 2 year old had the most fun with it. He liked the hanging lights too. In fact, I was afraid he was going to knock them down, but they hung in there. Having a 2 year old around is so much fun.They're so easy to impress and entertain. On the other hand, they don't have a very long attention span so you have to stay sharp to stay ahead of them.

The only way I could distract him from the lights was to give him candy. Everytime he would turn back to them I would say, "want some more candy Hunter?" and he would spin around and say "more PawPaw". No problem keeping their attention when you have candy around.

So, Saturday night was a success. Sunday was nice because we took a nap after church and then visited my mom and my son in the evening. It's always nice getting to visit with everyone.

2009-10-28T09:37:00.000-04:00

How do you know if you're in the 'right' church or not? This is a question many people struggle with, especially if they find something 'wrong' with their current church. If you run into a problem with the church you're attending, whether it's a doctrinal issue or a more personal preference, do you stay and work through it or do you just pack your bags and move on?

I think a doctrinal issue is a justifiable cause to move on. Your relationship with God is based on your personal beliefs and if your church doesn't agree on a point you will never find peace there. Of course, I think you should sit down and talk to the leadership about it first instead of just exiting without anyone knowing why, although I don't think a church will change its doctrinal stance based on the input of one person. It's just courteous to explain your reasons for leaving.

Personal reasons (at least to me) are things you need to talk to God about first. And the reason I say that is because it's really easy for us to get our feelings hurt. And if we leave a church every time that happens we'll be moving more than a fugitive from America's Most Wanted.

I've always felt like a person is 'called' or 'sent' to a church by God and should stay until God moves them on to work somewhere else, or until He gives them permission to leave. I don't think the decision should be taken lightly or based on our personal feelings. It also wouldn't hurt for us to discuss those feelings with someone who has no dog in the fight, someone who is not involved in that church and wouldn't feel hurt if we did leave. And then, also discuss your leaving with the church leadership, be it the elders, staff or a deacon. Let someone know why you're leaving so if it's a problem with others they will not be caught off guard.

What are some genuine reasons for leaving a church that God has called you to? Well, I think worship style is important. If you're used to traditional music and the church moves to a contemporary sound and you don't feel like you can worship there, leave; also, if you're not charismatic and the church moves in that direction you might feel justified in leaving; if you're involved in a ministry that the church can't or won't endorse and you feel hindered, leave; or if the church is not involved in any outside ministries and you feel they should be, leave. There are many other justifiable reasons that would take a book to list, but you get the idea. It should be something that hinders your relationship with God or others that motivates you to leave, not just because you don't like the way they chose the new carpet.

But, the main thing to consider in all of this is, will anyone miss you if you leave? Will they look around in a month and say, "whatever happened to what's his name? You know, the one who came in late, sat on the back row and left immediately after service." That's not how you want to be remembered. If you are God's child and He has called you to a church, you should be truly missed if you leave. There should be a hole in service when you vacate the premises that they are forced to fill in your absence. That's the kind of person I want to be. In fact, I believe it’s the biblical example of a true believer.

2009-10-23T11:14:00.000-04:00

So, raise you hands if you know someone apparently normal in every way except they married a nut, kook, maniac, or schidzoid. Eveyone knows someone who has done this. You just have to shake your head everytime you meet them or see them. Someone deep inside the 'normal' person is not right, that they would commit themselves to someone who is obvioulsy disturbed or at least off balanced.

Why have I thought of this (despite the obvious for those who know our family)? Check out this short article I found on the internet today,,,,

Love Can Mess You Up: Before Arthur David Horn met his future bride Lynette (a "metaphysical healer") in 1988, he was a tenured professor at Colorado State, with a Ph.D. in anthropology from Yale, teaching a mainstream course in human evolution. With Lynette's guidance (after a revelatory week with her in California's Trinity Mountains, searching for Bigfoot), Horn evolved, himself, resigning from Colorado State and seeking to remedy his inadequate Ivy League education. At a conference in Denver in September, Horn said he now realizes that humans come from an alien race of shape-shifting reptilians that continue to control civilization through the secretive leaders known as the Illuminati. Other panelists in Denver included enthusiasts describing their own experiences with various alien races. [Rocky Mountain Collegian, 9-28-09]

Brother David was at least some what normal, although he did teach an evolution classs (takes a great deal of faith to believe in that). He was a college educated man who spent enough time in class to achieve a doctorate, which is a great accomplishment. It at least shows that he was a hard worker and a deligent student. But, now he's looking to the night sky for his ancestors, who apparently resemble a gecco. All because he meets a woman who has probably spent a lot of money on smokable weed.

I have to feel some compassion for him. I've known others who married outside of the normal thinking world. And it can be hard on the ones who would love to spend time with them. But, just as light has no relationship with darkness, so saneness has no relationship with a nut-cake. It's just a law of the universe I'm afraid and a very frustrating one at that.

2009-10-20T08:58:00.000-04:00

Well, it seems like winter instead of fall to me. I think he was waiting outside the door just watching and waiting for the right time to slip in and surprise us all. You can't help but make fun of Al Gore during a week like this. Yes, we know Al, global warming is also making the winters colder and is creating hurricanes (like we've never had those before) and earthquakes and causes the rising oil prices and hang nails and hemorrhoids. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in his hype. He is a politician and all politicians have an ulterior motive. It's all about money and power. They know no other motivation after they've been in office for a month or more.

You think you know a politician with pure motives, who truly wants to make a difference and is only trying to do the will of the people? Sorry, they may start out that way, but there's just too much corruption at their fingertips to stay that way. They should be limited to 4 years at the most, and then get a real job. Of course, after they serve in office they'll still make their living in the political rhelm by being a consultant or something. There's just too much money available to give it up for real work.

I don't know how I got on that subject. I honestly tire of the whole political scene very quickly. I don't like or trust any of them. So,,,,,off I go.

I took the day off today to watch my grandson for my daughter. The crud is moving through her house and Hunter has a runny nose and is pulling on his ears. She's just started a new job and can't miss work (even though she doesn't feel good either). I've got some vacation days that I've stashed away for a rainy day and was glad to help. It gives me time to do this, which is nice. Hunter's watching the drivel on PBS (poorly animated cartoons with sappy morals). They are a far cry from the quality we enjoyed as kids watching Bugs Bunny, Popeye and the Road Runner. Yogi Bear and that whole gang came along later and was just not the same quality of art as the earlier stuff (although the humor was good). Now we've got a huge Red dog; bunny rabbits who do nothing more than get dirty to the consternation of his sister; and someone who builds things (taking the place of daddy?). I'm not a fan at all.

I do like Sesame Street though. Very creative and diverse. Yes, it's ladened with syrupy morals and lessons on getting along with others and being yourself and stuff, but they do it so well. Plus, they're realistic enough to include a grouch, and a Dracula.

Okay, going to do some surfing as long as I'm here and the baby is content to watch TV.

2009-10-19T08:24:00.000-04:00

It was a good weekend all around. I got some 'stuff' done around the house, which makes me feel useful and fulfilled as a husband and homeowner. I like to get something done around the house on the weekend or I just don't feel like I've done my part, you know? It's actually hard for me to take the weekend off and just chill out. It's even hard for me to do a day trip. I like to work. I like to accomplish stuff. It makes me feel good.

So, anyway, I got the plants in and set them up in the basement. This will be the first time I've tried to winter the anuals to see if they'll make it to next spring. I usually just buy new flowers each year, but this year I brought 'em inside to see if they'll survive. I had to hang some chains up and prepare a place for the ones that just sit around. I left the light on and set the temp to 45%. Hopefully, that will keep them alive. If not, it's back to the greenhouse in the spring. All of this stuff is new to me so I'm experimenting.

I love to work in the yard now. It's another creative outlet for me. This year I added Elephant Ears to the back yard and they really did great, mostly because we had a lot of rain. They're supposed to die back on their own and come back next year. I hope so, because I love them. As long as you give them water they thrive.

Not much else on my mind today,,,

2009-10-15T08:15:00.000-04:00

Seems like a long week to me. Not sure why except it's been busy and a bit stressful at work.

I drive a commuter van at times to and from work and last week was nearly involved in a major wreck. A line of cars in front of us were involved in a chain reaction breaking manuver that caused a number of cars to end up sideways in their lane. In the melee I was forced over into the lane on my right which was already occupied, by a car to my left. I still can't believe that we all managed to continue on without a scratch.

My co-workers were not as fortunate this week. A van heading toward the north-east part of town was involved in a roll over accident which took the lives of 3 employees and injured 6 others. It seems that another motorists clipped their back bumper and caused them to roll over 3 times before coming to rest on their side. It was a terrible and tragic accident and put us all in a somber mood this week.

It never ceases to amaze us when death intrudes on our world and our friends or loved ones are taken away in a sudden and unexpected way. It's just hard to get used to not seeing them around anymore. You're walking down the hall and can just imagine them turning the corner, smiling at you or saying hello.

I hate death!

I knew the 3 employees at least to some degree. Rocky and I got to know each other because we both had prostate cancer at the same time. We talked often about our treatments and their effects on other parts of our body. That sort of thing builds a certain comradery with others. It's like your on a battle field with them fighting a common enemy. I had talked to Ollie on the phone from time to time. He was very helpful and pleasant. He was one of those people you knew you could count on and you knew would do what they could to help. I had seen Cindy around a good bit but didn't know her personally. She was always friendly and always had a bright smile on her face.

And so, they're here one day, smiling and enjoying life and gone the next, not realizing they should have spent a bit more time saying goodbye.

I hate death!

Computer work and a reunion

2009-10-12T14:52:00.001-04:00

Saturday was a bit overcast so that exluded yard work. I had a meeting in the morning at church and when I got home Kathy and I drove to Marietta for some computer shopping. Her computer is just out of reach of the wireless router it seems. It must be getting old and just doesn't have the diaphram support it once had becasue it just can't scream loud enough to be heard across the house.

I bought a range expander to put in the living room so it can pick up the signal from the router and shout it out to the other side of the house, nothing original, just repeats what it's heard. Reminds me of some people I've met.

I got on my Mac and configured it according to the instructions but could not connect to the new signal. Then I discovered that I couldn't connect to the old signal either. I somehow corrupted the router when configuring the new. I had to call technical support then and they had me reset my old router to the factory defaults. I then had to reset the password for WEP and eventually got everything working again. You do know that I work on computers for a living, right? I hate computers.

So tonight I have to try it again. "We'll see" he said skeptically.

And on Saturday night I went to my 37th year high school reunion (I know I don't seem that old). Actually we celebrated the reunions of classes 1968 - 1975 which was more fun.

I was really amazed at how well everyone has held up over the years, especially the women. Some of them didn't seem like they'd aged at all. Looks like someone put them in a tupperware bowl for a number of years and they just quit aging. And everyone was so friendly and nice, having long ago buried the cliques that they had joined in school. I guess we all found out that they didn't mean anything anyway.

High school is such a twilight zone anyway. You take a bunch of immature half-grown people and put them together in an environment that they basically build themselves and you're destined for trouble. The cute ones don't hang with the normal ones and the normal ones despise the cute ones; the jocks don't understand the nerds or musicians and the nerds and musicians don't care what the jocks think.

But, there are some rare individuals that mix well in all the groups and I was fortunate enough to be one of those, although I didn't date any cheerleaders back then (dang it). I just wanted to have fun and I did. I got in a lot of trouble and didn't study that I can remember but somehow made it out on time.

Anyway, it was fun seeing everyone again, even those that I didn't know too well. There were way too many singles there because of failed marriages, but that seems to be 'normal' now days.

I wish all the kids in school now could see what it's going to be like later on down the road where no one cares what you look like or what kind of car you drive. We're all just struggling to get by and realize that those things really don't matter much anymore. And I'm sure a good many of the 'cute' ones which they had married an uncute one that would remain faithful over the years. Only a guess though.

Church

2009-10-08T08:17:00.000-04:00

I’ve been going to the same church now for over 10 years. I was ‘on staff’ there for most of those years, which means I was in charge of the music ministry (not much pay, but lots of responsibility). I was asked to participate by the pastor back when the church was a fairly new and small entity and I’ve watched the church grow over the years into the body it is now.

I love the people there and have always seen an amazing potential in the organization. Everyone is energetic (at least, most are), friendly and cooperative, with a heart for others. But, we have been plagued with one crisis after another over the years and I can’t help but compare ourselves to other churches and ask God, why?

We seemed to have a great group of people; a great vision and purpose; a lot of energy; very little disharmony; good music and good preaching. And we did do well for a while, growing quickly and being very involved in the community and in reaching others with the message of the gospel. But, just as soon as we started growing, we took a major hit.

Our pastor was involved in an indiscretion and resigned, along with our associate pastor. We found out at that time that we had neglected to build a good strong infrastructure, such as by-laws and a constitution. We didn’t have elders or other formal ‘lay’ leadership in place either, so we were ill equipped to handle the storm. We also found out that we were in very poor shape financially which added to the damage. I’m surprised we made it through the storm at all, except for the leadership of our youth pastor and the unity of the body.

And over the few years following all of that we’ve gone through 4 pastors and 3 or 4 youth ministers, along with a nearly complete turn-over in membership. We’ve hovered around the same number of ‘members’ and ‘attenders’ and have had all our needs met, although with very little left over each month. We’ve continued to minister to others, but have always struggled to maintain our identity and keep focused on the original vision.

It’s been a struggle for me to not get discouraged when I see other churches in the area who are involved in the same type of ministry doing so well while we just seem to be trying to keep our head above water. I’ve asked the Lord about it many times and I understand a little of why, but it doesn’t help. I still get discouraged from time to time.

I realize a lot of the problem has to do with not laying a good foundation when we were first formed. Our first pastor was a great guy with a great vision, who really loved people, but he was not as strong in the organizational areas and he let his own weaknesses overcome his ministry. And the other leaders involved at that time didn’t take the time to establish accountability roles and structure to guard against those dangers. If you don’t have a good foundation the building will always suffer.

Anyway, sometimes these things just weigh on me. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a member of church that thrived instead of struggled. I know all churches have struggles, but some more than others.

I am thankful for the years I’ve spent at our church. I’ve grown as a person because of my association there and I’ve made so many great friends. I hope I’m not sounding like a complainer. I’m not complaining, just wondering out loud.

Just thought I’d share.

I'm in a hurry

2009-10-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

A song by Alabama that very accurately describes my life,,,,

I'm in a hurry to get things done

(oh,) I rush & rush until life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live & die

But, I'm in a hurry & don't know why

Don't know why

I have to drive so fast

My car has nothing to prove

It's not new, but it'll 0-60 in 5.2, oh

Chorus

Can't be late

I leave in plenty of time

Shakin' hands with the clock

I can't stop

I'm on a roll & I'm ready to rock oh,

Chorus

I hear a voice

It says I'm running behind

I better pick up my pace

It's a race & there ain't no room for someone in 2nd place

And why am I always in a hurry? I have no idea. I have tried and tried to slow down and actually enjoy the ride but always find myself in the fast lane. I even have a hard time just sitting and talking with people. I’m fine for about 30 minutes and maybe an hour, but then I’m ready to get up and get going again and for no real reason.

Now this driven life does help if you have things to do, but honestly, a slower and more paced oriented person would be just as effective. I’ve actually seen it work that way and try to convince myself of it, but myself don’t listen. He just plows straight ahead with his head down, picking up the pace.

Well, I’d love to talk more about it, but I gotta go. I’ve spent much too long writing this as it is.

Saturday with the grandkids and a headache

2009-10-05T09:34:00.000-04:00

Had a terrible migraine headache Saturday but had agreed to keep my daughter’s 3 kids for her. The 2 oldest are never a problem, except maybe for Taylor who has a habit of talking non-stop. But the youngest, who turns 2 today is a hand full on any day, and with a splitting headache it was a real challenge to be a patient Paw-paw all day.

I took them to Hiram in the morning and we did some shopping for some Halloween decorations. Now, for those who have a problem with Halloween for religious reasons, please accept my apologies, but I just view it as another fun time for the kids. When they dress up and ask for candy they have no idea they are calling on the forces of darkness to possess their souls, they’re just having fun. Besides, most churches have ‘Harvest festivals’ now and the kids can still dress up and ask for candy. I guess they’re calling on the forces of harvest now, which could mean a prosperous future.

Anyway, we got some spider web stuff and some string lights for their house and ours but I just didn’t feel like putting them up Saturday. Instead, I put the youngest down for his nap, sent the kids out to the garage to play and laid down on the couch with an ice pack on my head (which felt wonderful).

When Hunter woke up I was notified by hearing him say ‘look, look’, so I got up to ‘look’. When I opened the door to his room I was struck by the smell of poop. And I mean the smell was strong! He had emptied his diaper and smeared it all over him and the bed. So, to the bath with him and Windex for the bed posts. I had to throw away the pillow that was in his bed because it didn’t have a pillow case over it. Needless to say this whole incident did not help my headache and I called my daughter to let her know I had had enough. She was sympathetic and came over to relieve me so I could take my much needed nap.

You know, it made me feel for moms who cannot call over reinforcements. They are moms regardless of how they feel. A noble selfless life is required by moms and they deserve all the thanks and flowers they receive.

A night at the funeral home

2009-09-30T17:56:00.000-04:00

I had a good friend that went on to heaven this week. He was older than myself and would be considered one of the 'great' generation. He was one of the friendliest and most gentle men I've had the pleasure to know. I wished I had spent more time with him, but we lost touch after leaving the church he attended and I had no opportunity to see him much after that.

Lloyd was the kind of guy who when they talked to you seemed genuinely interested in you as a person and not just wanting to talk about themselves. Those people are hard to find in life. Most of us want to talk about ourselves and when you meet someone who is really interested in you, you want to spend time with them.

You could quickly tell what kind of person he was when you pulled into the parking lot. It was packed full and we had to wait for someone to pull out in order to park. And then the lobby was full of people and it took us 30 minutes to get to the waiting line. We met so many people we hadn't seen in years that it just took a while to get around to seeing the family.

I was also struck by the fact that we won't see most of these people again until someone else dies or someone gets married. It's sad, but true, that we're all just very busy and are clustered in our own worlds and can't find the time to visit like we'd like.

I can only hope that when I die I have made as much of an impact on people as Lloyd did. I know I won't care who attends the funeral but I hope that people will actually miss me when I'm gone.

2009-09-28T10:26:00.001-04:00

Memories (Continued) - I really enjoyed Boy Scouts as a boy. I didn’t really get into the merit badge stuff much but enjoyed the meetings, camping and games. I don’t recall the leadership really encouraging us or helping us much with the merit badges. I think if they had I might have put more energy into it. We were Troop 1, which was the 1st troop in the Atlanta Area Council and it continued on into the 80’s although a mere shadow of its former self.

(Lynn is front row, 2nd from the left – skinny, right?)

But the games were great! The first night of Scouts I’ll always remember. The troop had about an acre corner lot with a shot-gun building with wood floors, a gravel parking lot and lots of woods. Our first game was inside and was just for the younger boys. We stood inside on the wood floor in a circle with our hands clasped to each others forearms for added strength. There were 2 boys in the middle of the circle, one had a belt and the other didn’t. The object was for the boy with the belt to beat the other until he either jumped over the arms of the circle or burst through. I thought I had died and went to heaven! This was the coolest game I had ever played and knew that I was going to enjoy scouts.

Another belt game was called drop the belt. It was played outside with all the boys in the troop (young and old). Everyone stood facing the inside of the circle with their hands held behind their back. Someone would walk around the circle with a belt and leave it in another boy’s hands. That boy would then chase the one to his immediate right twice around the circle, whipping him as they ran. Then, the boy who was doing the chasing was the one to drop the belt. Everyone loved this game except for the slower guys.

I’m sure the game BuckBuck has faded into oblivion because of its rough nature. I hope I can explain how it was played. A boy would hold onto a tree with his legs spread. Another boy would bend at the waist, hold onto the other boy’s legs and place his head between the 1st boy’s legs. A 3rd would then bend at the waist, holding onto the 2nd boys legs and putting his head between that boy’s legs. This would continue until you had about 5 or 6 boys in the chain. The other team would then get a running start, spring off the last boy’s butt and jump as far forward as he could, landing on the backs of the boys bending over. Their feet could not touch the ground. The team would continue to pile on hoping to cause the 1st team to break under the weight without them touching the ground. It was fun and challenging and I’m pretty sure was the cause of at least one broken leg.

I’m pretty sure Kick-the-can is stilled played and you’re probably familiar with it. There are 2 teams, and a can placed in the middle of a circle. One team hides while the 2nd team waits for a determined amount of time. After that time all but 2 of the 2nd team hunts for the hidden team, capturing them by grabbing them long enough to say a lengthy catch phrase. If anyone is captured they are placed in jail and must remain there unless someone from his team kicks the can without getting captured themselves. It involves stealth (which I loved), some amount of strategy (to kick the can) and a certain amount of roughness when attempting to kick the can or in guarding it. I loved it. The part I liked was sneaking up on the can and kicking it without getting seen or caught. And if I did get caught, someone was going to feel it when they tried to stop me.

We also played a game inside called ‘Spud’. We used a tennis ball and everyone who played was numbered. Someone would take the ball and throw it in the room (all walls and floors were hardwood) and call a number. Whoever ‘owned’ the number had to find the ball and holler ‘SPUD’ which caused everyone to freeze in place. Then the owner of the ball would throw it at someone in the room. If they were hit without a bounce their number was recorded. And for every time your number was recorded you had to endure the Spud line, which meant you had to bend over a desk and become a target for everyone throwing the ball at your backside from about 10 feet away. Needless to say, you really tried to avoid getting hit during the game because that tennis ball would really sting.

We also had a demerit system during the meetings, and for every 3 demerits (if I recall correctly) you had to go through the belt line. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Boys were lined up in 2 lines facing each other and the one to be disciplined had to run through, getting whacked on the way by both sides of the line. Richard Groover once got something like 30 demerits one night. He was going to have to run through the line 10 times and lined up like he was going to run, then turned around and did run, all the way home. He lived about a mile and a half from the scout hut and just took off home instead of enduring the line. We just stood there and watched him in unbelief.

I know a lot of these ‘games’ sound primitive now and would probably result in charges being brought against the scout leader, but to us it was normal and fun. This was during the 60’s and we played rough, had a lot of freedom and never worried about being sued or about having someone from ‘the county’ investigating what we did at scouts. I had the time of my life and still recall moments of my life playing those games. I can remember the hits; the sneaking around trying to avoid being seen by the ‘enemy’; devising plans for a diversion so we could kick the can; getting chased and chasing others during drop the belt; and piling on during Buckbuck.

We liked the hiding and pursuing games the most because they involved Indian-like stealth and hiding, and they involved catching your opponent, which resulted in some rough behavior. One such game was called fox and hounds. Two boys would run out in the darkened woods by themselves and hide and the other boys would be sent out later to find them. My older brother always felt like he was good at the hiding and loved being the ‘fox’. On one night he did not run far at all, but climbed up really high in a tree just outside of the scout hut. He knew that everyone would probably run past him and on deeper into the woods and felt secure in his hiding place. Just as he planned, when released, all the boys ran excitedly right past his tree and into the woods, totally oblivious to him and his buddy in the tree next door. All the boys ran past except for one that is. A lazy, dorky kid came walking up, hands in pockets, looked right up in the tree and spotted them both! “I see you Mulkey” was all he said. My brother muttered an obscenity, said something about killing the kid, and then stepped onto the limb just under him to descend the tree. Only, the limb would not hold his weight and snapped loud enough for all of us to hear. Ricky came down the tree very quickly after that first step, breaking limbs all the way down. He landed on the ground on his back and refused to breathe for what seemed like an hour. I stood over him trying to get him to talk to me, but all he could do was try to grab a breath. Fortunately for the kid he did not feel like fighting after that.

Next – the camping trips

Memories (Continued)– My dad

2009-09-25T20:45:00.001-04:00

My dad fought in WWII in N. Africa and Italy. He was drafted before he finished high school and was shipped overseas at the same age I was playing in the high school band and skipping school with my girlfriends. I can't imagine what that was like for him. His first letters home were so innocent sounding and naïve. He told his mom that he didn't think they were going to be shipped overseas. But, of course he was. We know that he fought in intense battles in Italy, in close quarters and had any number of personal kills. He would never talk about it but did one night when his captain visited. They talked late into the night, remembering their nightmares and letting my mom in on the action. He was blown out of fox holes and recovered his captain after he was dislodged; they were trapped behind enemy lines and killed an old goat before they starved to death, but then got dysentery from it; they were in close enough quarters when fighting that at one point he ran into building and took cover behind some boxes only to discover later that they were cardboard; he captured a German “instead of shooting him” and had him go behind a building and start digging his grave before his captain stopped him and fussed him out. His letters were kept and you could just feel as you read them how he changed over the years from a young boy to a hardened soldier. He was in the group that raided Mousilini's castle and we have a picture of him with the swords around his waist. He mailed them home but they never made it, of course. So, after the war he was told there was 2 ways to get back home. He could take a plane or go back by boat. He looked at the plane that was in sight of where he was standing and saw how it was shot full of holes and decided on the boat. He figured that he'd made it that far and didn't want to die going back home.

The Mulkeys are a happy bunch of people. You come to our reunion and you'll see for yourself. Someone is always telling a story and somebody's always laughing. We love practical jokes, just plain jokes and any story that will get a laugh. My dad was like that too. He was always doing something or saying something that made people laugh. On many, many mornings at breakfast he would sit next to me stirring his coffee and then take the spoon out and lay it on my arm, asking innocently, “Is that hot?”. “Ow! Yes!” I would reply quickly with everyone at the table cracking up. I still don't know why I never learned to anticipate that.

The legend that he became as a practical jokester was accomplished where he worked. He worked for Georgia Power at one of the generation plants. They worked in shifts, it was hard work and sometimes dangerous, but they had made it through the war and were not afraid of work. They also played jokes from time to time and it helped build moral and a kinship among the workers. Daddy was really into jokes too. One day he left his shift a little early and went down to the locker room, removed all of his clothes but his underwear and then bundled himself into a ball in his buddy's locker. When his friend came down and opened the locker door dad rolled out of the locker and onto the floor as if he was dead. They had to revive his buddy.

Dad was involved in our lives. He was a member of the PTA and helped out with the scout troop. He taught us how to drive and let us drive his cars once we had our licenses. He also tried to keep us busy (as well as mom). I don’t recall him ever paying anyone to fix anything around the house, as well as his cars. He would fix plumbing and windows, replace water pumps, brakes, transmissions or anything else that broke. I’m not sure he really enjoyed doing that stuff. He probably couldn’t afford to pay anyone and had to do it himself (like me). He also worked on appliances if necessary.

We had to help him with whatever he was doing, although I realize now that he just wanted us to learn. I did learn a bit helping him, but mostly he just wanted me to hold the flashlight. Now, for those of you who have never had the privilege of holding a flashlight for a mechanic you have no idea how impossible that can be. There is no possible way to keep the beam of light in the right place no matter how talented you are or how skilled. There’s always something in your way (including your dad’s hands, arms or head) and your arm gets fatigued very quickly.
“Son, hold the light over here!”
“I’m trying, but your arm is in the way”
“Well, move over a little and shine it up between the starter and the bracket”
“Which one is the starter?”
“This one! This one right here! You don’t know what a starter is?” raising his voice as his frustration increases.
“Yea, I was just kidding, Hold on and let me move around behind you” trying to sound helpful and knowledgeable.
“Well hurry up, my arm is getting tired holding the ratchet up here” (like my arm wasn’t screaming from holding the stupid flashlight)
“I’m trying dad, I’m trying”
“Oh just forget and give me the light, I’ll hold it in my mouth” he says loudly as he jerks the flashlight out of my hand.

Good, now I could go back in the house and watch The Road Runner. Of course, when I walk back in the house my mom says, “I thought you were helping your father?”
“I was, but he got mad ‘cause I couldn’t hold the flashlight right”
“Well, go back out there and try to do it better, he can’t do that by himself”

My shoulders would slump at this point knowing I had to go back outside (where it was like 40 degrees) and knowing I was just going to get hollered at again. Oh well, caught in the middle again!

Our washer and dryer were in a room on the other side of the carport and were vulnerable to the weather since there was no heating or cooling there. So, in the winter the washing machine would often freeze up, if not the pipes supplying water to it. Dad would end up out there with a heater, torch and tools trying to thaw things out and performing resuscitation techniques on the machine. The room was just wide enough for the 2 machines to fit side by side and to get to the back you had to wiggle them out a bit and then jump behind them. Dad did this one day, after the washing machine had sustained an injury and quit on my mom. So, dad wiggled it out and climbed over dropping down on the other side. Once there he found that he didn’t have enough room to work so he tried to extract himself and climb back out. Unfortunately had had not pulled the machine out enough for him to climb back out and he was wedged in such a way that he couldn’t push it. He pushed, pulled, jumped and wiggled to no avail so he started hollering for my mom. Unfortunately, she was busy cleaning and vacuuming and could not hear him. He literally screamed until he was hoarse and to no avail. Fortunately my uncle happened to drop by and heard him and was able to rescue him, but it took a day or so for him to get his voice back.

Dad was pretty good with mechanical things. For instance, he had at one time 3 different lawnmowers, all of them rigged up in some elaborate way, although I’ve never seen him use one. My older brother asked him one time why he never cut the grass and he replied, “that’s the only reason I had you boy, now get to cutting”. And, although my dad could crank one on the 1st or 2nd try the boys could not crank one for nothing. He would tell us to have the grass cut before he got home from work but we would pull on the chords until our arms felt like rubber bands. He would get home and my mom would back us up and say that we tried all day to crank each one of his rigged up mowers and couldn’t. He would fiddle with it a minute or 2, pull the handle twice and the stupid thing would roar to life. To this day I have resent and fear small engines. They are a mystery to me and I’m sure they intentionally refuse to cooperate with me.

As I said, he taught us how to drive and he did a good job at it. He taught us on manual shift cars and was very patient as we jerked the car forward until we got the hang of the clutch. He taught us how to slow a car with the gears and to shift without the clutch if necessary. He taught us how to drive in hazardous conditions, including snow and ice. He showed us how to start a car that was flooded and the correct way to brake on slippery surfaces. He would make us stop on a steep hill, pull the emergency brake up, release the clutch until it took hold, release the brake and start off smooth. It took a good number of tries before we got the hang of it, but we did and he was very patient even when he thought we were going to destroy the transmission. I understood how valuable these lessons were as I started hanging out with other guys who did not have the same privilege and I found myself teaching them.

Dad worked at the local electric generation plant and worked odd, rotating shifts with a healthy (or unhealthy) dose of overtime. In all his time with his company he missed one day sick until he had his heart attack. I guess if you made it through a war you felt like work was easy street. In the evenings when we were home he would always be found sitting in his chair reading the paper and smoking a cigarette. His hearing grew worse and worse over the years from working at the plant and the TV volume was raised appropriately. He slept a lot during the day because of the different shifts and kept an air conditioner running in the bedroom even during the winter to drown out the noise. He wore a socking cap to keep his head warm so he wouldn’t get sick. And we had to keep our noise down as much as possible when he was sleeping. There was nothing worse than waking the bear from his hibernation!

Dad did have a temper. I would have probably had a worse one if I had the 3 of us to deal with. He could stop us cold with a snap of his finger and could call us home with a whistle that could be heard for miles. Now, you know how rambunctious boys can be and we carried that concept to its limits when we ran through the house and out the back door (the front door was only used by guests who didn’t know us). The back door had a country look to it with 3 panes of glass above waist level. Dad would always holler at us when we ran out the door and slammed it behind us, “Don’t slam the door, you’re going to break a window pane!” Of course, we apparently paid little attention to it because we never caught on. Well, one day mom and dad got into an argument about something and he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. We never said a word as we watched the top pane of glass dislodge itself and break on the floor. He never stopped either as he got into his car and sped up the street out of site. I’m still a little unsure about us ever having the nerve to laugh about it later.

He also lectured us relentlessly about spinning the tires on the cars. We had a ’57 Chevy with a large block V8 that was capable of smoking up the tires when you wanted to and he knew that young boys could hardly resist it from time to time. But, he was the one who paid the bills and he didn’t want to have to buy new tires before their time, so he warned us against it constantly. Of course, he and mom got into a fight again and we watched him smoke the tires out of the driveway, up our street, turn right onto the main road and smoke them out of site. I don’t recall it ever being brought up in his presence though. There were just some things best left unsaid.

Dad was also a deacon in our church and took those duties very seriously. He spent many evenings dressed up in his suit heading to the hospital to visit church members who were sick or injured. That always made an impression on me as I grew older and was sure it was a reason that the funeral home had never had such a crowd as were there on the night of his wake. We found out then what a likable and well thought of man he was to those outside of our family. He was also one who would help out neighbors and friends in need, like the time he saw a friend trying to roof his house by himself. Dad just drove on home without stopping, collected his tools and his oldest son and drove back to help out. Mr. Fricks reminded me of it after dad had died and what a great impression it had made on him that he would do that without being asked.

One other story about him that gives you a bit of a glimpse of the man: he was always kidding one of his friends about running out of gas. It seemed as if Mr. Kilgore was always running out of gas. I guess he just liked to see how far he could go on a tank. Well, dad and I were driving in that neighborhood one day and he blew the horn and waved as we passed their house. They were out raking leaves and waved back, smiling. But, instead of continuing on down the road dad just coasted to a stop 2 houses down. I asked him why he was stopping and he said that he had run out of gas and didn’t want them to know. He just smiled and headed back up the street, preparing for the taste of crow as he walked.

And now as I sit here and write, over 30 years after his death I wonder who he really was. You see I was a teenager when he died and had more important things on my mind than who my dad was. I was also doing drugs at that time and was only interested in my self and my own needs. He and I never did communicate very well anyway, so when he died I felt like he was a stranger to me. I would give anything to sit down with him now and talk for a while. That’s one thing we didn’t do much of and I regret it terribly. I would ask him to tell me everything he remembered about his childhood and the war and raising 3 rebellious boys. What was it like heading overseas as a young boy, knowing you were being sent to a war? What did you feel like when you were being shot at or shooting at others? And when you came home and started a family, did you have nightmares of those terrible days in Italy? Did you also feel overwhelmed at times with the weight of raising a family? Did you ever cry when things got too hard to handle? So many questions I would pepper him with that it would take days for him to answer them all. But, I don’t have that opportunity. I’m stuck here in time and he has moved on to a place where time no longer matters. I can only hope that when I leave this world I will be able to spend some time with him and that he’ll feel like talking about it all.

Oh, and dad,,,, I know you weren’t perfect and I know I was a punk. I’m sorry for all the grief I caused you and wanted you to know that I miss you terribly sometimes.

Memories (Continued)– Fights with my brothers (and spankings)

2009-09-24T17:22:00.001-04:00

- I actually attribute the fights we had to the age we grew up in. In the 50's and 60's boys fought to establish themselves in the pecking order around the neighborhood. We thought it normal to fight occasionally and most of us did not take the fights personally. And what I mean by that is that we could fight and then shake hands and still be friends. We didn't hold grudges for very long and we didn't mean to hurt anyone seriously. Now, my older brother took fighting a bit more seriously than I did. He got mean and rough and could really swing his fists. He was big and strong and 'had an attitude'. In fact, I met a guy at work who knew Ricky in school. I asked him if he knew my brother and he said, “bad ass Mulkey? oh yea, I knew him”. Of course I didn't mind having a brother with a name like that. It probably kept me out of a lot of fights.

But, at home I didn't care how big he was or how much of an attitude he had. He was my brother and we often did not get along. He had a habit of bossing me around and I had a habit of not liking it. Most of the real fights occurred after my mom and dad had left the house (for whatever reason). Ricky would start telling me what to do and my temper would get away from me. We put a very big hole in the hall's sheet rock; broke the legs to my parents bed; I put a pencil in his back and he knocked me out cold. And my parents didn't find out about anything but the bed and hallway.

We loved to wrestle in the living room because it had carpet and sofas and chairs. We could dive off the furniture and slam each other without too much bruising. But, my mom did not like us using the living room for a wrestling ring and would holler at us to go outside. Now, we could not understand the reasoning behind that statement because the yard had rocks in it and rocks hurt, whereas the room did not, so we ignored her. She would then grab the broom and hit us with the handle until she drove us out of the house. And my brother would scream at the top of his lungs so that all the neighborhood could hear him, saying that she was beating us as he ran out the door (my mom had to laugh).

One of my favorite memories was when we were fighting in the hallway. There was a coat rack at the end of the hall that had spindles portruding outward toward us. Ricky had a towel around my throat and was choking me. I knew I was going to black out soon and noticed the coat rack was behind him. I acted like I was trying to pull him to me so he resisted and pulled back. That's when I pushed him as hard as I can and he slammed against the rack. The towel went slack, he moaned and slumped to the floor. I laughed and ran past him and out the back door, snickering all the way.

The time we broke the parent's bed was sorta scary. Ricky was chasing me through the house and I jumped on their bed to get away from him. When he jumped on the bed, he was heavier and the bed leg snapped. The bed hit the floor and we froze in place, knowing we were in horrible trouble. We looked it over and tried to find a way to fix it, without knowing a thing about what we were doing. So, as most level headed and amazingly intelligent young boys would do, we propped it up (precariously), then went to bed and prayed. I can't remember if I was asleep or not when the bed hit the floor, but I remember hearing it and almost sitting straight up in bed. Of course, when they checked my bed I was fast asleep! I honestly think we got away with it.

The worst beating I got from him was when we put on boxing gloves and fought in the living room (no running away). I knew I had to hit quickly and get out of the way of his big hands and that's what I tried to do. Unfortunately, when I went in one time to strike him he caught me on the side of the head and it was enough to make me wobble. Then, he just kept hitting me while I slowly watched the world go black. I was out cold for some amount of time and learned a valuable lesson, do not let the other guy hit you if he can hurt you. I wish it was the only time I had to learn the lesson.

Of course, we didn't always fight, only when we were pushed to it by either him or me. My younger brother didn't join us in the real fights. He was too young and small for us to tangle with. He had health issues as a child and we tended to take care of him rather than fight with him. I did have to take up for him once, but didn't really get into a bad fight over it. We just had a good talk and the other guy agreed that he shouldn't push my brother around. The guy better be glad Ricky didn't take care of the incident instead of me.

But back when we grew up the phrase 'boys will be boys' was accepted and given it's due. We played hard and fought hard, but generally just had a good time. We were also spanked hard back then but endured it with no lasting effects. In fact, it's almost a bragging right when I get together with other people my age. It becomes a spitting contest on who got whipped the hardest and most often. My dad did whip us when we needed it, and sometimes when we didn't think we deserved it, but I'm sure having 3 boys would require a certain amount of firm discipline in order to have a harmonious home. Dad used the 'going round and round' method of belt whipping. He held you by your left hand, whupped you with his right while you ran round and round him trying desperately to avoid getting hit. It seriously hurt and you would instinctively try to block the blows with your free hand which led to it getting bruised too. All in all it left no permanent scars inside or out. Fact is, I probably wasn't spanked enough because I was always in trouble for something.

2009-09-23T11:28:00.000-04:00

Memories (Continued) - My best friend from childhood was Larry Kilgore. We went to school, church and scouts together and lived within a mile or so of each other, so we hung out a lot. Back then a 11 or 12 year old boy could venture miles from the house alone without his parents being concerned or worrying. Of course, my dog usually tagged along and was good protection if I had ever needed it. Larry’s dog, on the other hand was an embarrassment and we I did not like her to hang with us. She was a beautiful German shepherd but was afraid of her own shadow. I would cringe and hang my head when she ran with tail tucked under her from a Chihuahua. We didn’t do a lot of fighting back then, but you wanted to appear as if you could, and with his dog around you felt like you would be ridiculed if anything happened.

Larry was of heavy stock, built like his dad who was tall and big. He was not one to look for a fight but was not afraid to engage in one if pushed to it. All around he was just a nice likeable guy who always tried to do the right thing. He and I covered a good 10 square miles around our neighborhoods by the time we were in high school. Most of that was on foot, but we also traveled a good bit on our bikes.

I can recall one time when we were riding our bikes up in the Oakdale area. Oakdale was short interlude on the road between the city of Smyrna and Fulton County. The local ball field was there, a small grocery store, a convenience store, drugstore and 2 gas stations. We would either walk there or ride our bikes and it was a good place to get a snack or just meet other friends. We were in the area on a road that we rarely took, and using it probably just because we hadn’t before. I was riding in front of Larry and we were headed to a dead end intersection. As we started down the rather steep hill I started breaking a bit to slow my ride when Larry just sped by me. I thought to myself that he was going awfully fast, especially for Larry who was not the daredevil type. Then I noticed that he had a terrified look on his face and was dragging his feet in an effort to stop the maddening descent toward the dead end and red bank ahead. He did not slow down much and I watched helplessly as he stopped suddenly by implanting his face in a bank of red dirt. I was at first concerned whether he lived through it and relieved that no car was passing by at that time. He was actually in remarkable shape when he stood up and spit the dirt out of his mouth. And I couldn’t help but laugh, which caused his anger to burn red hot against me. But, come on, after it’s over with you have to laugh.

Larry and I remained good friends even until today .And that’s saying a lot about his good character because we went opposite ways in high school. I ended up staying in trouble and indulging myself in the drug culture while he studied and played football. We hung with a completely different set of friends yet we still remained good friends the whole time. I was the one who encouraged Larry to date his future wife (even though he claimed I was setting him up as a joke).

Oh, and I also made his girlfriend cry at school. My younger brother was a sax player and she had heard that he played. She walked up to me and said, “Hey Lynn, I heard that your brother plays the saxophone”! I just answered with a very serous straight face, “that’s not funny Bobbie, my brother doesn’t have any fingers” and walked away. She started crying. I was mean.

I can still recall a football game in Harroldson County. It’s a very rural area and it was their homecoming, which meant the stands were packed with their fans and we had a handful in ours. We were kicking a field goal on the 10th yard line and after we made it they started fighting. I was very nervous because of the crowd and then I thought about Larry out there playing center. I looked and saw him on his feet, a look of rage on his face and swinging his helmet at anyone who came near him. Pretty cool! Up until that time I was not aware of Larry having ever been in a fight and I was concerned for him. No need. He can handle himself very well.

A letter to my nephew and his new bride

2009-09-20T20:01:00.002-04:00

1 Cor. 13 – I'm sure there have been scholars, preachers and saints all through the years who have explained this passage with great detail and flair. They've probably explained the meaning by studying the original greek language and examining it in the light of the rest of the letter, but I'm not a scholar, or preach and only qualify as a saint because the Word of God declares it so. I'm not intentionally trying to be original or clever, but as I studied the scripture this weekend in preparation for a reading of it at your wedding it really came to life for me. And, I hope you don't mind if I share what I've come to realize with you in light of your wedding.

You see, there's much disinformation about 'love' in our society. There's the definition of love as expressed in the 60's and 70's which was an open sexual expression. To 'make love' is still in our vernacular today. Love was an acceptance of those who wished to express themselves as being and acting differently from the constraints of society. Sexual promiscuity was said to be an expression of love and was celebrated as such. That was my generation. There is still a philosophy adhered to today that says love is the acceptance of those who wish to express themselves in any way they want no matter the consequence to them or society. Unfortunately, that's not love at all. Love sometimes says 'no, don't do that' because it is harmful. Love always seeks the best for others and that means protecting them from themselves and their unhealthy impulses.

There's the sentimental expression of love heard in our love songs. It could best be defined as an emotional feeling that is felt for someone and it's great when it's there, but if it's not you can leave that person in order to find another. This definition of love is erroneous and very harmful to the institution of marriage. One of the cornerstones of marriage is faithfulness, even during the times when you don't feel like you're 'in love'. Love, as the bible tells us never fails.

Which brings us to the bible verse,,,

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

The first section of the passage in my mind can be lumped together in one purpose. Verses 1-3 seems to be introducing the next few verses by saying “it doesn't matter who you are or what you accomplish in life, if you don't have love, what good is it?” It's like saying that having love is the most important thing you can strive for and that everything else is just dust in the wind. So, when you reach the end of your days and glance back you want to see a life that was expressed in love and self sacrifice. That should be the goal in life, being the expression of love. Are you a great orator? Love should still be your goal. Are you a preacher or are you a great scholar or thinker? Love should be your goal. Are you a mystical saint who can heal or express God's mysteries? Love should be your goal. Are you a volunteer who gives up their life in making other's better? Love should be your goal. If love is not your goal you have done nothing.

The second section really starts getting into the meat of the matter and starts letting us know what love really is. This section is the definition.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

After reading this passage this weekend I realized how important this passage is to marriage and that everyone who marries another should read it regularly in order to examine themselves in the light of this 'light'.

I also realized just how little I express love in my own life. If these verses are the true definition of love, then I've come up woefully short. My wife and kids deserve much more from me than I have been willing to give them; I easily lose my patience and I'm often unkind; I often envy others for their gifts, especially my musician friends who seemed to have been blessed with more talent than myself; I find I often compare myself with others and wonder why they can't measure up to my stature; I can be rude and often want my own way; I don't have too much of a problem with anger, but I can remember when someone has wronged me from 20 years ago; I don't always defend the truth and laugh at some shows and movies that delight in evil. I sit here writing this and feel ashamed and hurt at how little I know about love. And I have renewed a deep desire in my heart to show my loved ones how love can be lived out instead of just talked about.

“Love is patient” - In the day-to-day passage of time there is no greater virtue than patience when living with another person. I must confess that I'm often guilty of a lack of patience. We've been married over 30 years and I can pretty well predict my wife's reaction to just about any situation. I often know exactly what she's going to say or ask me and when she fulfills my prophesy I react in a short terse manner than is rude and unnecessary. Patience values the normal and predictableness of others. Patience is not put-out with routine requests. Patience realizes that time is simply a perspective and not a master. Patience says “I know you very well and I know exactly what you're going to ask or say right now, but I just love the way you say it.” Patience is one of the highest expressions of love and was given it's position of importance in this passage by purpose.

“Love is kind” - Love treats the other with tenderness and views the other as more important than themselves. Love doesn't strike in anger or with impatience. Love understands that the inner part of a person is as fragile as a butterfly's wings, more valuable than any possession and must be treated with respect and tenderness in order for the recipient to fully grow as a person. Husbands should make it their goal in life to out-serve their wives; bring her unexpected gifts; treat her gently and softly without expecting anything in return; and boast about her to others as if he had married into royalty. Wives should look at their husbands as if they are built like Tarzan; are as brave as Indiana Jones; as resourceful as McGiver; and as handsome as Brad Pitt. They should remember that their husband is still 10 years old inside and hurtful words cut deep in their tender little hearts.

”Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud” - I have to give an example of one who was the opposite of this section in order to explain how I feel about it. I know a man who grew up in the old south. Although I love him, I always saw him as a proud, boastful man who had little tolerance for anyone different than himself and who ruled his house sternly and forcefully. Now, he did show love to his wife and children, but he would quickly revert to this prideful attitude when in the presence of others that he wanted to impress. He would boast of his mechanical skills, his hunting skills, his bible knowledge and anything else that promoted him in the eyes of his listeners. And this show of pride and self-exaltation only diminished him in my eyes as a person.

On the other hand I had an uncle, Uncle Bub, who laughed often; showed great patience with others; was always interested in hearing about the lives of others rather than letting everyone know what he was about. He loved children and would stop whatever he was doing to listen and talk with them. He was a big man and I suspect that he was one who would have handled himself well in a fight. But, I knew him as a gentle, kind and happy man whom I loved to be around. He was the example of love I want to follow.

Love isn't concerned as much about itself, as it is in others. Love likes to listen more than it likes to talk. Love views others as precious gyms or as priceless treasures. Love says, “I already know enough about myself, I'd rather find out more about you. You are fascinating”.

Love is not rude - Man! If we could remember this and practice it in our marriages we would do well. We should never belittle our spouse before others, no matter how funny it may seem at the time. Men in particular have very fragile egos and their wives should be aware of that when talking to their girlfriends and especially in mixed company. Men should be in the habit of building up their wives in the the presence of others, boasting of their love and abilities, and should never belittle them.

Love is not self-seeking– Love is unselfish! Love goes the extra mile in service. Love strives to out-serve others. Love gets up early, prepares their own breakfast, works hard all day, comes home tired but does not insist on being waited on. Rather, love continues to serve the ones who are the most precious to them. Love cleans up the dishes; love fixes anything that's broken without being asked; love insists that others keep their seat while he/she gets them a cool glass of water. Love says, “I think you are the most amazing person I've ever met and I am amazed that you would want to live with me. What can I do to show you how much I appreciate you putting up with me?”

Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. - this seems redundant after what we've already seen, but in light of a marriage it demands to be repeated. All of us will get angry. All couples with disagree. Someone is going to hurt the feelings of the one they love. But when that happens someone has to take the initiative to say “I'm sorry”. Someone has to humble themselves and be the one who is wrong even though they may not feel like they are. And when you are wronged and hurt you have to forgive the other. You have to decide that they are more important than your opinion or your feelings. Everyone has their weaknesses and blind spots and you will sometime see your spouse's as a insurmountable obstacle, until you really take time to look at yourself and realize that your faults may be even greater. There's nothing abnormal or wrong with disagreeing with someone, even your spouse, but you have to somehow find a way to work through it and put it behind you. If you don't and if you let it ferment in your gut, you will end up hurting that person and sometimes to the point where your relationship can't be salvaged. So, never go to bed angry or without forgiving and working through the problem. If you have to miss a night of sleep, count it as a small sacrifice, because if you don't get it fixed before you go to bed you'll wake up 10 times angrier in the morning, if you ever get to sleep.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. - Love is kept strong by receiving love from the source. God is love; He teaches us to love and fills us with His love. We only really understand love when we love God and understand His love for us. And we see that love is nurtured and expressed by aligning ourselves with God's truth (His word) and guarding that word in our lives. We should protect the truth and guard it in our lives and in the lives of those we love. If we let our guard down we will be easily deceived and will open ourselves and others up to many hurtful and dangerous thoughts and philosophies. Stay on guard; encourage each other to seek only the truth and walk only in the truth because in the words of a song that was popular in the 70's “there's a lot of bad everywhere”.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - Love really does last. True love will stand the test of time and endure. Love protects their loved ones from anything and everything that can bring them harm. As a husband and a father I know that I would fight to the death if anyone ever tried to harm my wife or any of my children. And if I heard that someone had harmed them in my absence, they would have to deal with my wrath afterwards. I feel it is my right and duty to protect the ones I love. But, hopefully we are rarely put in the situation where we have to physically protect our loved ones. I think this verse has more to do with protecting them from the influences of evil and from lies. The verse above talks about how important the truth is, and now we see that we have to protect our loved ones from lies and half-truths. This can be more important in the long run than simply protecting them from physical harm. Man can destroy the body, but evil and lies can destroy the spirit, and that will exist forever. ”always trusts” - Love trusts their loved ones and is terribly hurt if that trust is ever broken. Trust is an essential part of any relationship and must be protected and maintained with great care. always hopes - Love only wants the very best for others and because our love is an expression of God's love it does not lose hope. always perseveres - Love does not fade. Feelings fade and will rise and fall like the tide, but love is like a mountain. It is solid and sure. It is a decision and not an emotion. It is an act of the will and not a just a flutter of the heart. Love is not best expressed in a song, it is best expressed in endurance. You say that you have love because you 'feel' it? I say we have love because we have stood the test of time.

And now we have to ask, are there ever reasons for divorce? Absolutely and without a doubt. Adultery is a sin that is hard to overcome and Jesus himself acknowledged that it could be grounds for divorce. Abuse, both physical and mental could be a reason to leave someone. There is no reason to live with someone who beats you down until you're no good for them or yourself. God intended for us to encourage one another, nurture and empower each other. He is not please when there is unnecessary pain or ill treatment.

But, remember, that there can and should be forgiveness, even if there can't be reconciliation. Don Henley put it as well as anyone when he said, “you keep carrying around that anger and it will eat you up inside”. Forgiveness is the center piece of love. It can seem almost impossible to do, but God's love can actually make it possible. Forgiveness does not mean you forget, because you won't. But forgiveness is an act of the will just as love is. If is seems impossible continue to bring to before God and ask Him for the grace to do it. He is full of mercy and grace and understands being wronged for doing nothing wrong.

Love never fails - “Trust in The Lord with all of your heart and do lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6